due to recent events this is how I have been feeling lately |
Day turns into night Night turns into dark An overwhelming cloud That can never be escaped. A darkness that surrounds Leaving one with nothing To see except Death Death, And death to face again. Time and time again Being told you can’t feel a Certain way, just because You’ve learned to hold it all in Walking around with a blank Stare on your face Trying to keep everyone Else at an arms length away Trying to keep yourself Above drowning water. When the sun seems to shine Everything becomes an act Leaving others Unsure of how to react What you hold dear always seems To fade in the middle of the night As dark turns into day. Nightmares that have come and gone Seem so unimportant as feelings of Betrayal, Pain, Anger, Shock, And disappointment fill your head. Why did you go and Let them do that again. You should have known better Than to let them all in A never ending feud only Really leaving one to get hurt By choices that she never would Have made. Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock Day turns into night And night becomes the dark The thoughts are back wondering Why I always have to feel this way. Maybe its just me But then I look around and see That things aren’t always what they seem Pain, Hurt, Betrayal, Anger, And shock are feeling I find within Mostly at myself, wondering how I ended back at square one That’s it. I’m done just like I feel I can’t go on Then I sit and wonder About the ones that truly care It’s funny that the people who really make you matter Are the ones that haven’t always been there for the battle But they help make the world Seem so gentle to give you the push To keep moving on The strength to keep fighting And the love that never seems to fade With a smile on your face Every time you hear my voice Makes me feel like you were Brought her to help me find the love A battle that I fight Every single day and night As I fight this addiction That never seems to break I'm falling, failing and not sure What else to do and then I see your sweet face and I know I have to fight Because I cant become a Disappointment like so many That have disappointed me. Being in your presence makes Life seem so easy when there’s A war each and every day. At a young age you don't think About the bad you only See the good Until untold things begin to happen. You try to tell the truth Yet no one understands What your truly trying to say So things get left undone And the one who hurt you Walks around a free man As if he never did nothing in this world Walks around with no regrets Or no conscious of what he did To a girl as young as me Then you come out with The truth yet again Only for him to falter And make himself look like the Victim in this shattering situation. Now everyone believes you just made it up And blame it on the feud that Happened before I was born It became the excuse for a Story they believe to Be a cold hearted fantasy That wasn’t a lie yet Nothing but the truth And as I sit here the feeling of Anger, Pain, Betrayal, Shock, And disappointment fill my head That you would even thing I made that up But it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m done Done being torn between the two I am who I am so love me for me And not who you want or Expect me to be Love me for me because I cant be who I’m not Cant change the way I look or talk and with One thing for sure I didn’t ask to be here Yet I’m here because this is Where God wanted me to be So stop all the feuding, The hiding, and just keep everything Straight with me because At the end of the day When night turns into dark I'm the one who ends up hurt Who ends up feeling Anger, Pain, Betrayal, Shock, And disappointment, Knowing how hard I try to Keep these unwanted feelings at bay. |