Alien Cuisine

Alien Cuisine

     Landra stormed into the family room. She was obviously mad about something. “Where’s my evening meal?”

     “I contacted them a few minutes ago,” said Poul. “It should be here any time now.”

     “You didn’t contact Honnonie’s did you? I hate that place.”

     Poul placed the Contactor back in it cradle on the wall next to the entrance into that room. He returned to a chair beside the one Landra just sat down in. “It isn’t coming from Honnonie’s. It’s a place that just opened up today. And word has spread that it’s already the best food on the Space Station.”

     “What aren’t you telling me? You know I can tell when you are trying not to tell me something. Your ears wiggle a little when you do it.”

     “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. I just don’t know how to do it.”

     “Just come out and say it. It can’t be that bad. I can’t be any madder at you than I already am. It’s your day to pick what you eat. And you wait until the last second to do it.”

     “I didn’t wait. It took me this long to get in contact with them. Like I said, they are very popular.”

     “So, who has the best food on this Space Station. You did just say they just opened today. How did they get so popular so quickly?”

     “That, I don’t know. All I do know at the moment is that I have trying to contact them for the last three hours.”

     “You’re right. That’s popular. So, what did you end up getting us?”

     “It’s your favorite. I got us Gallopia. Only they call it Vanica.”

     “What kind of a language is that. I’ve never heard it before.”

     “The language is Alien. That’s why I’ve been trying to tell you.”

     “You’re not telling me you contacted the Aliens. Are you?”

     “I didn’t know they were the Aliens until after I contacted them. All I knew is that they had the best food ever.”

     “Contact them back. Cancel the food. I’m not eating it. I would rather not eat ever again than eat food from the Aliens who invaded Chaon.”

     “They didn’t invade our world. The Aliens only came here to live after their planet blew itself up. That was almost fifty years ago. They landed on a small island we could no longer us after nuclear testing.”

     “That isn’t true anymore. Is it? They haven’t lived just on that island in decades. Those Aliens are all over Chaon. Now they are on this Space Station too.”

     “You are starting to sound like an Anti-Alien. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you about the food we are eating tonight. I know how you feel about Aliens. You feel like almost everyone on Chaon.”

     “I’m not an Anti-Alien. I just don’t want them in my life – or on my planet.”

     “So, Chaon is your planet now. I didn’t know that. When did you buy it. How much does it cost to buy a planet. Where did you get the Credits to do it?”

     Landra shot an angry look in Poul’s direction. “You know what I mean.”

     “I was just kidding. All I was trying to do was calming you down before the food gets here.”

     “I’m not eating that. I already told you that. And you shouldn’t be eating it either. Who knows what it’s made out of. For all you know it could be other humans. It could even be other Aliens.” Landra thought about for only a second or two. “No it’s not themselves. But it could be other Chaons. A lot of them have been disappearing lately.”

     “It’s not humans. You are starting to sound like an Anti-Alien again. If you don’t want to eat it, then don’t. But what are you going to eat tonight?”

     “There are some Emergency Meals in the vertical Cold Box. I’ll eat one of them.”

     “That’s fine with me. I’m still going to try this food. You know I like to try new things – especially when it comes to food. Besides, I am also curious if this food is as great as everyone says that it is.”

     Just then a whistling sound could be heard everywhere. “That’s my evening meal. Where’s yours?”

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     Poul rolled over the next morning to give his lover a kiss. Landra opened her eyes ready to give him one too. But instead she screamed. Then pushed him away.

     “Why did you do that? I can’t look that bad. We just got up.”

     “Oh, yes you can. Go look at yourself.”

     Poul got up and left that room. A few seconds later he screamed too. When he returned he had a shocked look on his face. “How did this happen?”

     “You ate that Alien food last night. Now you are an Alien too.”

     Just then an Alien appeared on the giant monitor in their sleeping quarters. “It’s time to wake up fellow Quarians. Sorry, it’s taken us so long to grow the herb to create you. Now that you are one of us we can take over Chaon and make it Quari. First the Space Stations in orbit, and several hundred small villages on Chaon, now the rest of your world.”

     Both Poul and Landra had shocked looks on their faces as they stared at that monitor. After about a minute the Alien continued. “I could tell you we are doing this because of the way you treated us when we got here. But I can’t. We planned this all along. That’s why we sent that fake Help Us Signal. Quarians are Planet Busters. We take over planets. And us them for a century or two until they are used up. Then we move on to the next one.”

     Landra looked at Poul with her jaw dropped. “We got together last night. Does that mean I’m going to have an Alien baby? Is that another way for your Race to grow?”