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by Tiger Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Article · Death · #2077689
Understanding Cancer and how to talk about it.
CANCER a house divided cannot stand.

On my mind today as I write, is a close friend who appears to be in the final stages of cancer. It is heart-rending to say the least. Actually I have been very close to more than several people who have faced this terrible disease. Some have walked through it and come out the other side victorious, while others have only defeated it by just moving on out of the body into the presence of another world, eternity either in the lake of fire or Heaven with our Lord and Savior. When the body dies, cancer dies. Like a spirit that has to have a vessel to dwell in, cancer needs life to allow it to move through the body and grow.

Being around it and seeing what it does to its victims, I had never really studied cancer out to see how it grows or moves from one location in the body to another. But of course, I am not a doctor. So today I will not only read about it, but will share my learnings in common language with whoever wishes to know. Describing this subject in terms of everyday activities will help us understand it better. Allowing experience to relate to some of the feelings of both the patient and the people that want to visit the cancer patient, we will discuss the feelings of both. Perhaps you wish to visit one with cancer but are unsure what to say or maybe what not to say.

CANCER, the dreaded terminology of what is feared to be the killer of life. We got the word “cancer” from the Greek physician Hippocrates (460-370 BC), who is considered the “Father of Medicine.” Then when Old English became popular, the word “cancer” had the name “spreading sores”. Another description of cancer is tumor, or growth, polyp. “He’s got cancer”.

Regardless of how it is pronounced or what it is called, cancer can sure rain on your parade in hurry. Life can seem good, even great. No problems to report, everyone in the home is happy and getting along well. Children have their lives in order and are stable individuals with families of their own. Then comes the news that rips your inner being open and drops everything inside to the floor, “You Have Cancer”. Fear grips your soul and begins to squeeze the life right out of you. At first it is all they can think about, first thing in the morning till the last thing at night. One moment they can be very positive and hopeful of a good recovery with the help from the Lord and medical science. Next minute, seems as if all hope is gone, nothing left but the despair of death and dying. Doesn’t your heart just cry out in compassion for these tormented individuals?

Then there are those who won victory over the appalling malicious growth that had caused then such great anguish. It had been such a long and hard battle, but with the mercy of a great God, and support and prayers from a loving family and friends, even the medical treatment from compassionate medical staff, finally the news came that they are “cancer free” or in remission. They are overjoyed and want to just scream to the whole world that they have triumphed over the enemy. But what do some feel when they are in the presence of another terminally ill cancer patient? Are they comfortable with the knowledge they are victorious while another is near death. What can a person say, how do any of us talk to a person going through such an ordeal?

Cancer, what it really is: Cancer is a disease that is caused by an unrestrained separation of abnormal cells in the body. Cells in the body have certain job to do. Normal cells or GOOD CELLS divide in a systematic way completing the task they are to do. For example, if you cut your finger good cells immediately race to infected area and attach its self in order to begin the healing process. When they are no longer needed or enough is present, the good cells stop growing and then die. BAD CELLS, on the other hand do not stop growing. They just divide and divide again and again, on and on. Similar to a Church body, imagine a congregation that is dedicated to the Lord and to the Church. They listen attentively the sermons for growth and correction. The quickly admit fault and seek forgiveness. They accept the leadership that the Lord has placed over them whole heartedly without jealousy or resentment. Everyone gets along as a healthy body. They follow instructions in righteousness and help one another in brotherly love. That is a good cell, a living organism. As with life though, every now and then a cell will start to malfunction and turn bad. When this happens in the Church, if not caught early and dealt with properly, the whole body will suffer. A good cell gone bad will first try to split, I mean will try to gain support by talking negative. Others will respond and some join in with the bad cell multiplying and running rampant throughout the entire body. That will eventually split into a friend or two, then again until half of the Church is on one side and the other half on the other side. Cancer (bad influences) in the body of Christ, if not detected and removed, will become malignant. Bad Cells, or sinful characters if allowed, will destroy the Church from within. If left alone, the entire congregation will become so weak that it cannot sustain a healthy life, ending in a state of death from within. That is cancer (“And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand” Mark 3:25) This abnormal growth of cells forms a tumor or cluster of cancer cells. Normal cells have the ability to cling together in a group, (non-cancer growth). But cancer cells do not have that sticky substance and begin to float through the body to nearby areas or in the blood stream to different parts of the body. Normal cells are controlled by growth suppressors. That is a code in our bodies that kill the growth when not needed. But Bad Cells, Cancer, somehow evades the growth suppressors and continue to grow and divide again to other parts of the body. The bad cancer cells just keep on growing and making new cells. They crowd out normal cells. This causes problems in the part of the body where the cancer started. When cancer cells spread, it’s called metastasis. When lung cancer spreads to the bones, it’s still called lung cancer. To doctors, the cancer cells in the bones look just like the ones from the lung. It’s not called bone cancer unless it started in the bones.

What should I say: You may not know what to say or how to treat someone with cancer. Do not feel bad, you’re not alone. Many people have that problem. I don’t know how many times I have either heard or thought myself these phrases. “I would go visit, but I just don’t know what to say”. Or, “I’m afraid I’ll say something to make them feel worse”. Have you ever had those thoughts? How many of us wanted to visit but was just afraid to because we felt so inadequate in how to treat them. Let’s go over some ways to respond to someone we know who has cancer.

The most important thing you can do, is let them know that you care. Sometimes the simplest display of concern or affection does the most good. That is something that you have to be comfortable with in your own way, Just be YOU! Do not try to be all knowing about it or super spiritual either. What I am saying is, Do Not be Fake, they can tell when it is directly from you or not. You can let them know that you are interested in what they have to say, being concerned. You can offer support and encouragement in many different ways. Someone to just listen may be what they need. Sometimes they may need someone to just sit in silence and hold their hand. Try some of these words if you are not sure what to say. But make sure they come from the honesty of your own heart.

I really don’t know what to say to you, but I do want you to know I care.
I am so sorry you have to go through this
Are you feeling any better today
If you let me know what to do, I would like to help in some way
If you would to talk about it, I am a good listener
And, if you are a Praying person, ask them if you could Pray with and for them.
Don’t be afraid to openly Pray for their physical and spiritual needs.

Try not to say things like this:
I know how you feel (everyone is different and no-one knows how another person feels)
I knew a guy with that type and he got better by,,, (doing this, or drinking that, etc...)
Have you “googled” you disease
Call me if you want me to do something for you
Have you prayed and asked God to help
Boy, I wish they would find a cure for cancer

What can I do to help: For the individual going through cancer treatment, or any chronic illness for that matter, is a very humbling and incapacitating occasion. They may not be able to cook for themselves or clean up any mess there may be in the house. Too sick to take out the trash, cut the grass, even drive. Even when other families are present to help, the chores may be too many to accomplish with the added care of their loved one. Instead of saying, “Call me if you want me to do anything or help you”. This may be some ways You can help and be a blessing to those who are going through this.

Take a hot meal to them, maybe get volunteers to prepare a meal everyday
Offer transportation to and from Doctor visits or clinics
Call local Churches for prayer and cards of encouragement, maybe flowers or fruits
By permission only, schedule a time when clergy can visit
Clean house, dishes, laundry, take trash out, cut grass, run errands,
Volunteer to sit with the patient while care-takers get some rest
Make sure that the spouse or care taker has everything they need so focus can stay on their
loved one.

Being there to care for and support someone battling cancer is a most rewarding thing to do. Jesus said when we look after the need of others, we are tending to his needs also. “When ye have done it the least of these, ye have done it to me” (Matthew 25:34-40).

A dear friend of mine used to say, “The greatest thing you’ll ever do in any given day, is to Pray”. That is true, but after we Pray, we need to Love them and be there for them. We need more Love in this world. Love that compels us to be a servant to others in their time of suffering. Love that meets their needs before they ask for it.
Hal David, song writer, had just two lines in his head that morning, “What The World Needs Now Is Love, it’s the only thing that there’s just too little of” DIANA ROSS took that song to the top in 1968.

“WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW”
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone

Lord, we don't need another mountain
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross
Enough to last 'till the end of time


What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone

Lord, we don't need another meadow
There are cornfields and wheat fields enough to grow
There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine
Oh, listen, lord, if you want to know

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some, oh, but just for ever, every, everyone

What the world needs now is love, sweet love (oh, is love)
What the world needs now is love, sweet love (oh, is love)
What the world needs now is love, sweet love (oh, is love)
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