Shakespeare panic

Last October/ November I had to recite a Shakespearian sonnet for my english class. As soon as the words left my teacher's lips, I had frozen inside. I felt all the blood rush to my face and thought 'this is gonna be a long night'. I was right. The panic attacks started even earlier than usual, at about 11 p.m. The worst part? I had a Girlscout field trip the next day (saturday). It was a physical one too, with rope courses and lots of exertion. I was in the bathroom until about 4 a.m, dozing on the floor because I didn't trust myself to leave yet. I had started the panic attack in my bed, where I vomited all over my favorite blanket. So then I had to put them in the wash as subtly as possible so as not to attract the attention of my mom. It's not that I don't think she could help me, it's just that I'm pretty ashamed at myself right now. At about midnight I crept into my parent's room to let her know that I was panicking about something she had no clue about, so of course she just told me to calm down and go to sleep. That didn't help at the moment, so I went back to the bathroom and, as previously mentioned, stayed until about 4 a.m. By then I was exhausted and just dragged myself back to bed. Of course, every half hour of so I would wake up in a jot of panic, then doze back off. I had to get up at 7 for this thing (if any of you live in Florida, the place is called Treeumph) and choked down a granola bar. Of course, I threw it up right before we left. I didn't tell mom about that one. I got there, feeling weak from lack of food and sleep, but I didn't tell my mom. Of course not, I was 13. What do you expect? I made it through the first two courses (there were five) with little trouble. It's mostly propelling yourself forward on ropes, harnesses included of course, and a lot of upper body strength. I was feeling pretty weak by the third course, but felt that I could make it through. That didn't happen. I made it maybe halfway, with my mom right behind me. Then I paused on a platform, feeling the bile rise within me, and crouched down with my head on my knees. My mom called out for me to keep going, but I told her that I was gonna throw up. She told me to lean over the edge, cause we were about 20 feet up, but she had a slightly joking tone in her voice. When I actually started choking out bile and spitting it down to the ground, she took me seriously. They have a thing at Treeumph, where if you call "guide, guide, guide" someone will come and help you get down, or whatever you need. My mom called this, but the guide went to the wrong people! My mom had to yell "No, over here! My daughter is getting sick and needs to get down!" That caught his attention and he quickly shimmied up to join us. He called in a heat exhaustion to the clinic on his radio , but when he heard that I had actually gotten sick he called a code red. That sounded pretty scary, but it wasn't too bad. A guy came in a golf cart and they lowered me down next to it like an elevator. I won't expalin how they did it, because it was kind of confusing. I got a water bottle (I already had one, but hey) and a wet cloth across my neck. My mom got to ride too, but she had to ride in the back. We went to the little clinic thing they had on campus, where some other climbers were being checked out. My mom told them it was heat exhaustion, which it really was. I am so out of shape, almost any prolonged physical exertion makes me ill. They let me go after I felt better, but I wasn't allowed back on the course. There is a happy ending to this story. I managed to memorize my 14 line sonnet in less than a week, and recited it right before thanksgiving break. I didn't throw up a single time after that initial panic, so kudos to me. I was the first person to present, because it didn't have to be presented until December 7th! I couldn't take worrying about it a single more day, so the day after I made sure I knew every single one of the lines, I recited it. I felt quite nervous before, obviously, but a miraculous thing occured. I thought 'I'm not the one presenting this. God is.' That doesn't make much sense, but at the time it put everything into perspective for me. I felt shakey and red while presenting, but I always do, so that was fine. I got 100% (like always 😆) and a congradulations from my teacher and friends, who knew how hard it was for me. I didn't tell them the whole story, but they got the general idea. I've told you the whole story here, so please don't judge me. I haven't even told my closest friends this story, so keep that in perspective if you comment.