Chronicles of Nonia: Deadly Twinkie

The Chronicles of Nonia: Deadly Twinkie

Noni-Ayanna (Gobern) Roach / March 4, 2015

Creating "Barbie Doll land" is a long, meticulous process for little eleven year old Noni complete with a decorated house with Corvette, attached Lego fencing, character choice creation, furniture placement and her beloved Hot dog stand. After spending about four hours setting everything up for play (yes. The setup portion of her invented land often takes hours) Noni's sister Adventitious, walks into the room. Unaware of the painstaking process Noni has just undergone in order to begin her role-playing story creation, Adventitious accidentally runs right into the entire Barbie doll land set scene destroying all of its contents like the fictitious character King Kong in the movie King Kong.

"Adventitious! You ruined it! Now I have to start all over! See what you did?!" Noni said shoving her sister off of the scene.

"Oh. I'm sorry Noni." Adventitious said. "What are you doing anyway? I want to play. I'll make my house right here and move this over here wi-"Adventitious says starting to move everything around and mix match characters.

"No! Leave it alone!" Noni snaps.  Really angry at the unexpected disruption, she tries to temper it by calmly saying "Make your house over there and we can be neighbors. I'm going to fix my scene back and play by myself for a while.

Seeing Adventitious' sad face and unaware of the entire episode in its fullness, Noni and Adventitious' mother enters the room. "Oh Noni. Stop being so mean to your sister. She just wants to play with you. Figure out a way where the two of you can play together or I want you to put the Barbie Dolls away."

Knowing that talking back to her mother is not an option without severe consequences, Noni replies with the traditional moody "ok mommy," and starts to pout. Adventitious in her victory scoots her little body back to Noni's side of the room.

"So what do you want to do?" she asks with her adorable pumpkin-like face cheeks smiling in such a way that makes even the most reserved person smile and want to pinch them.

"Let's just dress up our dolls." Noni responds no longer in the mood for story creation.

As Adventitious and Noni play, Noni suddenly realizes that her favorite Barbie Doll is missing a diamond earring. "Where is my earring Adventitious? It was in her ear a second ago! I just put them on." Said Noni slightly annoyed with her little sister.

"I don't know!" Adventitious said.

Knowing that she was playing with the earrings, Noni gets concerned. "Did you swallow it?" Noni asks somewhat worried. Now, granted, that seems like an oddly paranoid question, but Adventitious has a tendency to chew on toys and put things in her mouth.

"I don't know! She responds getting even more anxious in her voice. "Why? What will happen if I did?"

Although not the kindest response, Noni being angry that her sister could have possibly swallowed her favorite Barbie Doll earring, says in a temporary state of rage, "Your gonna die! If you swallowed that ring you will suffocate in your sleep and die!" As soon as she says it, however, she internally knows it is a horrible thing to do, but she finds herself saying it anyway.

"Die!? Oh no! Really!? Oh No. You're kidding right?" Adventitious says alarmed as can be. "No! I'm not kidding!" Noni barks back while picking up her dolls and throwing them into their designated bins.

Running downstairs in full tears, Adventitious looks through the cupboard for her favorite treat. When entering the kitchen to make dinner, their mother finds little Adventitious crying her eyes out in the dark eating a Twinkie cake. "Oh no sweetheart. What's the matter? Why are you sitting in the dark eating a Twinkie?" she asks with great loving concern in her eyes.

"Noni and I were playing dolls and I think I may have swallowed her Barbie Doll's earring. I don't know if I did, but Noni said that if I did, I was going to choke on it in my sleep and die! So, I came down here to have my favorite snack as my last meal. I really love Twinkies. I'm just so sad that I can't have them anymore," Adventitious cries taking another solemn, dramatic bite of her Twinkie.

"NONI!" Yells mom.

"Yes Ma'am?" Noni replies.

"Get down here this instant young lady!" she yells.

"Dangit. Here we go," Noni sighs knowing full well she is about to enter the world of unwanted discipline. "Well, that settles it. My next storyline will be a Barbie Doll funeral to mourn my passing," Noni says sarcastically to herself as she goes downstairs to take ownership of her wrongdoing.