Looking Back At Me

-Looking Back At Me-
by Keaton Foster



Mother
Father
Strangers
True deniers
I have seen you
And I know you
In my dreams
Nightmares really
I was there
Certainly young
But well aware
You created me
Only to
Abandon me
But before you left
Forever walking away
You stopped
Maybe it was doubt
Maybe it was guilt
Maybe it was vanity
Or all the above
I’m not really sure
Never have I been
In that moment
I saw you
Catching a glimpse of you
Looking back at me
I honestly believed
That in that final instant
Clarity filled your head
Pouring from your heart
You wanted to turn back
To make your mistake right
You wanted me as your child
As your one
And only gift from God
You both looked at me
Right into my very soul
And saw something
Deeper of yourself
At least that is
What I had hoped
In my dreams
Nightmares really
I can see into your eyes
Knowing that you were
Making one final decision
With regard to my fate
Understanding either way
They’d be no turning back
Quickly you made it
You decided what to do
You turned from me
And walked away
Never again
Would I see
Your young faces
It would be decades
A lifetime alone
Before I found you again
Before I saw your eyes
Before I again looked inside
Both of you near death
As I stood before you
Almost as if you were holding on
Waiting for me to come
And ask you why
But once I found you
Once I was face to face
Never did I ask
You tried to tell me
But I refused to hear it
So badly you wanted
To lead me down the path
But I just wouldn’t move
The answer as to why
To me mattered not
I knew the answer
All along
I saw it in your eyes
On the day that you decided
To turn your back on me
Leaving me to be alone
As I have always been
I made a point to forgive you
It was what I was sure people do
And shortly after that
I was informed of your deaths
Maybe you found peace
Then again maybe you didn’t
Certainly I could care less
I stood over your caskets
And confessed to myself
That I had no regrets
And for you
I’m sure that was never the case
To live with what was done
Must have been impossible
Looking back at me…


Looking Back At Me
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2015.