nostalgia

I was in no mood to go home. So I thought it might not be a bad idea to wander and get rid of all those exhausting thoughts. Wandering, suddenly I found myself in that old park. The usual bench caught my attention. That was empty so I rushed toward it, rarely could you find it vacant because it is in a good location. It is in front of the pond and waterfowls swimming lazily can be easily seen from there.

It was a summer day and the weather was warm, however, inwardly I felt frigid. I sat down, abruptly my childhood memories_ all those happy days_ flooded back to my mind. I could remember them vividly, feeding the waterfowls, playing soccer, the old playground, how JOYful they were. However, I cannot enjoy them anymore. Is this not the same place? Yes it is, but am I the same person? I used to enjoy everything even the stupidest ones, but now I loathe anything even the most impressive ones.

I wonder, was not growing up my own wish? Yes that was, but I wish I could not get that like lots of my other wishes. I wanted to be an adult, but I did not want to be like them. I had promised myself not to do whatever they did to fulfill their own desires, but how about now? Not only am I the same as them but also I may be worse. I am tired of people_ every single one of them_ even myself.