Addicted

Self-medicating upon my waking
To merely get through each day
One pill at a time
Somehow this is now my life
No longer able to keep my urges at bay.


My sole purpose in this life
When I remove this tired, limp body from the bed
Is to withstand another day
To tolerate all the uncertainties
To overcome all the pain that lies ahead.


My future bleak
My self worth utterly gone
Any goals now non-existent
What did I do to deserve this?
Where did I go wrong?


Struggling to find my true identity
For the person I now am, I do not know
The longer this poison consumes my being
The more powerful the monster inside me will grow.


My frail body cries out for recuperation
Begging for a taste of rejuvenation
Painfully screaming for release
To only let go of the poisons
Would give my weeping body some inner peace.


My mission is clear
I know what I must overcome
Yearning to find the willpower
To take back control
Any excuse for failure, there can be none.


Finding strength within myself
Regaining the courgage from within
Only time will tell
If I am up to the challenge
Or if I will continue to give in.