Amy's Gift

Hi, my name is Amy.

Even before I was born I was a difficult child. I wouldn't sit still. Far more than what was considered normal. Mom had real difficulty sleeping and had very abnormal pains even for a pregnant woman. Dad was REALLY worried and numerous doctors were consulted and yet nothing seemed could be done.

Then I was born.

I couldn't stop screaming. I don't remember this but Mom and Dad tell it was awful. Their first child. Someone they loved more than happiness itself and yet they couldn't seem to help.

Doctors, nurses and just about everyone else had an opinion about what was wrong. Physically I was fine. No broken bones, or injuries of any kind. No birth defects, and yet I wouldn't stop screaming!

Eventually I was prescribed some very heavy medication to "silence" my mind, whatever that means.

I was drugged up and a fog descended on my mind causing my thinking to blur.

Every so often the doctors and my parents tried to ween me off the drugs but the screaming returned. Day and Night. So I was drugged up again. the fog returned.

The drugs dulled my thinking but helped me be "normal" so that I could sleep and fit in.

My development was slow, it took me 7 months to talk, 18 months to walk and I was 7 before I attended school for the first time.

Mum desperately tried to home school me so that I wouldn't fall too far behind.

I struggled.

I hated being so dumb and retarded. I wanted to be like everyone else. I hated being picked on! Bullied by kids and teachers!

Feelings of hopelessness and failure. "God why did you make me like this?"

Then when I was 11 or 12 I was staying at my Nan's house and I'm not sure why but I forgot to take my evening meds.

Was it a choice? I can't remember. Maybe.

I remember waking up in the middle of the night to people talking, saying strange things. To images in my mind when I closed my eyes, only to open them and fine I was alone in my room and yet I could hear people talking to me as though they were right next to me and yet indistinct.

Weird.

The fog in my mind was slowly lifting.

I closed my eyes and listened to the voices.

Then opened them, closed them some more.

Where are these people whose voices I hear?

I concentrate and try and focus on one. It becomes clearer. He's a man and he seems to be living the same interview over and over.

Is he dreaming? I can watch and hear his dreams? who is this guy?

I try another voice. This is a young girl. She's dreaming about horses and meadows, sunshine and butterflies. Wow!

I listen to more as the night progresses. trying to remember each person's face and what they dreamed about, but there are too many.

I find that by concentrating on one voice at a time I can block the others out to all but a whisper.

Morning dawns and I have a rotten headache.

I try and sleep but the voices, and there seem to be many more now, all shout at once.

My headache gets worse.

Earplugs. "No I'm not hearing the voices, I'm thinking them"

Music. Maybe my Ipod turned up real loud will block them out.

I try it. Too Loud to sleep. I gradually turn it down until I can just barely hear the voices but the music is tolerable.

Much better.

The music seems to keep my mind from thinking about the voices. Interesting.

"Amy are you up?" My Nan Shouts from behind the door. "it's time for your meds."

I'd forgotten about my meds. Oh crap.

Nan opens the door and comes in. "I think we forgot to take our medications last night, didn't we?" she asks.

"Nan"

"What Dear'

"I can hear voices"

" That's nice dear, now make sure you swallow all the pills and use the glass of water if you need a drink"

"But Nan, I can see peoples' dreams"

"Don't talk nonsense child. obviously you're just having nightmares. Now swallow your pills or I'll call your parents"

"Yes Nan"

I pretend to swallow my pills and wait for Nan to leave my room, before spitting them out into the top draw of the bedside table.

I get dressed making sure I keep the earphones in and the music playing.

I go downstairs to have breakfast.

"Porridge or toast" Nan says

"Porridge, please" I say in return

"Make sure you do all your home work before you go out and play" Nan says again as she pours the boiling water over the oats.

Mmmph

"What was that? and stop listening to music at the table"

"Yes Nan" but I leave the earphones in.

It's Summer Holidays, but I have to do extra study because I'm so far behind at school. Extra english, maths, history and geography.

Mum has set me three hours of solid work for each morning and two hours every evening to ready myself for the new year ahead.

Grandad joins us at the table as I finish my porridge. "Mornin'" he says

"Good Morning" we both reply.

"if you need any help youngster just let me have breakfast first"

I finish breakfast and wander off to get my books. I set them up in the lounge room and wait for Grandad.

After a minute or two I'm bored and start to fiddle with my earphones. One side pops out and suddenly I can hear voices again muffled with the music.

Grandad and Nan live on a small farmlet 5 acres after they retired. Just big enough to have some chickens and a couple of goats, a dog and cat, vegie garden and fruit trees. Every summer I come to live with them to give Mom and Dad a break.

I pop the other earphone out and my mind is drowning in voices.The headache returns with a vengeance!

I scramble to put the earphones in again.

"Aah, much better" My mind is calm again. The headache subsides.

Grandad comes into the room and sits down next to me "Ok what do we have for today?"

"Maths" i say

"Good"

I hide my earphones in my hair so he can't see them and begin to do the read the Maths book out loud to him trying to moderate my voice so that he won't know I'm listening to music,

As I read he gives me a funny look but says nothing.

"Now in your exercise book work out the problem and try and calculate the answer and then show me" He says

Usually It takes me a while to understand each question and then puzzle through to get an answer and more often than not getting it wrong and then Grandad having to explain it to me over and over in different ways and lots of patience to get me to understand.

But today It's just so easy. I race through the problems getting each one right in a matter of seconds. My maths done in fifteen minutes.

Grandad looks at me and I return the look.

"Um, OK" he says lets try something else.

I finish my days study in an hour, both morning and evening studies, and the Grandad says" so you want to tell me what's going on?"

I look very sheepish. I have a very good relationship with my Grandad. He has taken me under his wing and we are very close, far more than Nan who is a lot firmer and stricter.

"I feel different today" I say hoping that's all he wants to know

"and" He says waiting

"OH Crap what can I say?" I think to my self

"Mmmh"

" I forgot my meds last night and I spat out this mornings..." I whispered

"I see..."

"How do you feel? He inquires

I tell him about last night and what I've learnt this morning and wait for his reply, afraid that I've done something wrong.

He listens intently and then thinks for a while before he replies " Don't waste the medications. they're expense. But.." he pauses

"The music, it helps?"

"Yes"

"and you hear people in your mind?"

"Yes"

"mmm" he mumbles

"you can hear what they're saying clearly?"

"Yes" I reply

"Interesting" he said

" I have a thought " he gets up and wanders into the kitchen. Nan has finished the washing up and is now doing the laundry. She whistles as she works. I don't know the tune because she's very tone deaf. but it makes her happy and so us all.

Grandad comes back with a deck of cards "let's see"

"Let's see what?" I inquire

"Let's see if you can guess which cards I'm looking at" He says

He picks up a card, its front facing him so I can't see what it is as says "which card is it?"

"I can't see I say, it's facing you"

"Haha" He smirks "Now close your eyes, take out your earphones and concentrate on my thinking voice"

I move slowly so as to try an minimize any potential headache and listen for his thinking voice.

All at once I see and hear seven of clubs "seven of clubs" I shout.

"Good let's try another"

"King of diamonds"

"three of clubs" and so on.

Each one is answered correctly and we get more and more excited as we continue.

"what's going on in here?" Nan says as she walks in on us. here voice is stern and yet inquisitive, we should be studying still.

Grandad a I both say together "We're playing a game!"

"Can I join in?"

"Um, OK" Grandad says "but first Amy has something to say to you, Amy"

"Um"

"Go on"

"Um" I start to tell her in a sheepish and softly spoken voice until "speak up dear" Nan says

I speak louder then "ouch" the intense headache returns, the voices shouting to be heard, all at once. I pass out.

I wake to find I'm back in bed and my earphones in my ears, music playing. It's dark outside.

I'm hungry and thirsty and decide to getup and wander downstairs and see if anyone is still up.

As I descend the stairs I notice the light on in the kitchen and sense that there a four people in there talking about me.

It was Mom and Dad, Nan and Grandad. They stopped talking when they saw me.

"You OK" Mom asked and raced over and hugged me, pulling a earphone out of a ear. "Mom, STOP. Hang on!" I put it back in and then hugged her again.

"So it's true" Dad Said.

"Yes" I say "the music really helps."

I could see relief and tears in everyone's eyes. There must have been quite the the discussion and possibly argument over what has transpired earlier that morning.

"Dad said "What happens now"

"I'm thirsty " I say

"I'll get you a glass of water but that's not what I meant" Dad gets up and gets a clean glass.

Grandad says" We need to get you properly tested"

"Is there something wrong with me?" I say a little shaken

"No No, we just want to know what's going on in side your noggin" Mom says with a smile and another squeeze

"I don't like needles" then "and No More Drugs, I can't think clearly and they slow me down"

"I just want to be normal like other kids" I say

"Darling" Mom says " you are certainly not just normal, you are extraordinary"

Dad passes me the drink

"Mom" now I'm embarassed and feel myself blush

"I mean it. Nobody else can read a persons mind or see their thoughts but it seems you can"

"Oh" I say

Over the rest of the summer I breeze through my studies without the drain of the drugs slowing me down. I feel free and alive like I've never felt before. My mind is sharp and quick and I begin to explore my newfound abilities.

"Slowly at first and don't put too much pressure on yourself " Grandad kept saying but I want to do more, hear more and "see" more.

The headaches were the limiting factor. Very intense and often to the point I'd pass out again. Grandad or Nan would have to remain close to me when I tried to use my gift just in case I passed out.

But slowly I realised that through concentration I could block out the voices and images and calm my mind.

Little by little I gained control of my mind.

Something else seemed to happen as well. In moments of frustration the ground would shake and the house would move like an earthquake.

The animals would nuts!

Sometimes the neighbours would call the police because of all the shaking and a man from the government arrived to check on the geological stability of the area, reassuring us that it was quite stable.

Despite no fault line or fissures the micro quakes seemed to be localized to just one location.

The Man spoke with Grandad and Nan one day and asked if he could bring some extra people with him and set up a monitoring station to get to the root cause of the situation.

My exploration of my new gift was put on hold. Nan said I had to behave normally. Apparently normal means like everyone else who isn't gifted. Boring.

The next few days several people came and went. No tremors were recorded and most of the people left. The Man, Roger, stayed.

Despite being told to keep away from Roger and his equipment I couldn't.

I wanted to know what was going on and would often chat with Roger, who seemed very nice, about what each machine did and what he did.

Over the next week Nan invited Roger for lunch and dinner and we'd all chat about this and that.

Nothing occurred. Roger was baffled. I was bored.

Then one day, out of sheer boredom, I thought as I stared at the dog, Misty, I wish I could read your mind.

I popped my earphones out, closed my eyes and concentrated real hard.

Perhaps too hard.

For a moment I could see out of Misty's eyes, "hear" her inquisitive thoughts before feelings of terror flooded her mind and she jumped up and ran as fast as she could away from me.

The ground shook violently.

Oh Crap, I thought.

Roger sprang into action. raced to his instruments check their readings and then looked at me. Perplexed.

Gandad and Nan did the same but with "Oh No" expressions on their faces.

What had I done?

I passed out.

I awoke to music in my ears again and raised voices, an argument, downstairs. Crap.

I got out of bed, no shoes but still dressed, and sneaked slowly to the top of the stairs to listen to what has going on.

Grandad and/or Nan must have told Roger about my gift, why I'm not sure, but he wasn't happy.

Grandad and Nan were pleading with him not to tell anyone but Roger wouldn't listen.

What have I done, I thought, and promptly burst into tears.

As Roger strided to the front door, mobile phone at his ear and speaking loudly to someone, Nan rushed upstairs to me and held me as I sobbed.

The next day saw quite a number of government people descend on our house and demand entry.

I got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast.

Grandad and Nan were shouting and very upset. The government people shouting orders and taking notes. Roger standing to one side being interviewed.

I was hungry and very up set.

I screamed.

The house exploded.