Oct 3 Background Story

He sat on the front porch, his thoughts off in the distance. Ten years ago, the Creator called her home, a cruel fate perpetrated by God. Sasza had long forgiven the Almighty, but that did little to ease the pain in his heart. He knew she was in a much better place, but he still missed her. She was a beautiful little girl, an innocence that gave unconditional love and expected nothing in return.

The wind began to blow colder as he stood to move from the porch. He smiled as he thought of her again. She liked the cold weather, loved the snows of winter and early spring. She would giggle when her mother would dress her in warm clothes: she knew she would soon feel the ice crystals on her face. A single snowflake fell on his scar, melting quickly from his body heat. A single tear ran down his cheek; she would have loved seeing that flake on his cheek.

He walked into the house, the temperature difference causing his glasses to fog over. He took them off and wiped them off with his shirt. He looked out of each lens with one eye, making sure that he did not leave any marks or film. Satisfied with his work, he replaced them on his face and walked to the phone. He quickly punched in her work number and waited until the receptionist put him through.

Without hesitation, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Marti. I just wanted to say I love you.” Sasza swallowed heavily before continuing. “I miss you.”

She giggled softly. “I’ll be home in a few hours,” she added.

“I know, but I still do.”

He heard a mumbled comment, probably to a coworker, before she continued. “What brought this on?”

Sasza thought before carefully answering. He didn’t want to tip his hand, didn’t want to upset her unnecessarily this early. “It’s starting to snow, and I know how much you love it. It made me think of you and your smile.”

“Aw, thank you darling. What a wonderful thing to say. You just made my day.”

“You know it was on a day like this when we first met.”

He could hear her smile through the phone. “You remembered!”

“Yes I do.”

Neither spoke for a moment. She broke the silence. “I’d love to talk with you more, honey, but I have work to do. Not everyone works from home.”

He didn’t miss the dripping sarcasm. “I know, Marti. I know.” He sighed before speaking. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Thank you and I love you,” she quickly added.

“Love you too.”

They hung up together.

He sighed heavily. Sheridan Aleksander Lockwood hated to lie, but he had to do it. Sheridan - Sasza to everyone - did love her. The former Marti Lawrence was his college sweetheart, an older returning student who came into his life on a cold, snowy day, similar to this one. They dated and despite warnings from his family and friends, asked her to marry him. They wedded days after he graduated – he received a Bachelor’s in Computer Information Systems in only three years.

Now, only a few years later, evidence came to him, showing they were correct in their assessment of her.

Sasza looked out the window and saw the snow falling harder. He took his warm winter coat off the hall coat hook, put it on, and walked to his gloves. As he put them on, he thought about her again, how the little girl would be smiling and wiggling in her seat as she sensed him getting ready to go out. She knew she soon would be dressed in similar clothing. He reached up for the car keys with one hand, wiping another tear from his face with the other.

Mandy was born with spina bifida, robbing her of any chance of having a normal life. The doctors gave her less than three years to live. Her parents never thought of giving her any less love than they would a normal child, showering her with all their love in those three years. A sister was born on the fifth anniversary of that short life diagnosis, a second sister born when Mandy was seven.

She lived for thirteen wonderful years, never knowing hate, never knowing hurt. Everyone adored her, well loved by family and friends alike. He was only a former neighbor of her parents, knowing her when he was a teenager. He treated her as a little sister, and she responded by giving him so much love.

Though heartbroken at her passing, he never showed it at the funeral. He held his head high, knowing that she was in a far better place than he and her friends and family were. He finally cried when everyone left the cemetery, showing his emotions to only her.



It was a 45-minute drive to the cemetery; he stopped at a flower shop midway to purchase two carnations. As Sasza pulled in, he saw several others mourning, grieving their losses. He whispered a silent prayer to help them with their grief as he wound his way through the maze of roads to her grave.

Her spot was in the back, a family friend purchasing a large plot so another could give her a large angel statue for a headstone. He stopped the car and pulled up the coat’s collar. It was snowing even harder, making it difficult to see a few feet in front. He opened the door, shrugging his shoulders up in an attempt to brace himself against the cold. The wind was blowing from the North, blowing colder than before.

He made his way to her site, clutching the red and white carnations in his right hand. He leaned down for a moment, picking up the small stone he was about to kick and placing it into the right coat pocket. He noticed the bouquet someone left recently; the snows did not cover the pretty yellows, pinks, purples, and reds of the early spring flowers. Sasza took a deep breath in hopes of not crying like a baby. He bowed his head, touched his forehead, sternum, left shoulder, and right shoulder with his right hand before reaching into his coat, taking out his small crucifix, and kissing the Christ image. He began to say a short prayer, wishing her a wonderful life with the angels and for her to watch over her two younger sisters.

The snows stopped and a single ray of sun broke through the clouds as he looked up. The warmth of that ray paled in comparison to the warmth of her love; He welcomed it nonetheless. He smiled and thanked her for her love. His eyes began to well up as the ray disappeared and the snows began to fall heavily. He sighed, knowing that this was a sign for him to leave. He placed the carnations on her grave and put the stone at the feet of the angel.

He was crying, the emotions she brought to him great. Sasza cried because he knew the snows were for Mandy. His silent prayer ended, he turned and saw a familiar sight standing at his car.

“I thought you would be here,” the woman said. She held out her arms. He walked into them, unafraid to show her emotion. She kissed his cheek, his scar, before they each took a step back.

“I thought I was meeting you in your office?” he asked.

She nodded. “Yes, but I thought meeting where we wouldn’t be seen by her people would be better.”

“I didn’t think of that.” He smiled and added, “I bet her people don’t even know about this.”

“If they did, they would be here with cameras.”

He chuckled. The smile on his face quickly eroded. “You have the information?”

She reached into her bag and removed a large yellow envelope. “This is most of it. I have the rest back at the office, but this should get her to start to admit she’s married to someone else, and has been since you two first met.”

Sheridan Lockwood tried to smile, tried to show family friend private investigator and boss Simone Campion he was satisfied, but he couldn’t. He looked at his feet. “I do love her still,” he admitted.

She touched a wrist. “I know.”