Things Forgotten

Grandma had died a month ago. It was hard on Mom, and I promised to help clear out Grandma's things so that she could sell the house. It was strange to see a layer of dust on everything, as Grandma was always particular and fussy about things like that. "A clean house makes for a welcoming house." she would always say. I smiled as I remembered that saying. I liked visiting Grandma and listening to her stories and eating the cookies that she baked. As I got older, the visits were not as frequent, but she still had baked cookies when I did come to see her. I brought myself up short, and put away those memories, at least for the moment. I was working in the bedroom while Mom was packing up the kitchen.

As I looked into the closet, another memory flooded my mind. I remembered playing dress up with some of grandma's things...hats and feather boas. Dancing around in my get-up much to Grandma's delight. I smiled again. Looking on the shelf, I spotted an old shoe box. Wondering what was inside, I pulled it down and opened the lid. There were a bunch of letters and cards in it. Curiosity got the better of me, so I went to Grandma's bed and began rummaging through the letters and cards. Mostly, there were birthday cards, and get well cards that Grandma had saved. The letters were mostly from Grandma's sisters who had written to her from long ago. As I was about to put them away, I dropped two letters. I went to pick them up, and was surprised to see them unopened...and addressed to me. Whoever had written them had put the wrong address on them. Puzzled, I set the letter box aside and opened the first one.

"Dear Callie," It began.

" I hated moving away from you. It was so unfair! But dad got promoted, and we had to go. Do you still love me? I still love you. If only we were a little older, we could stay together and get married. But there's no way dad and mom would let us now. We are only Seniors. I miss you, and wish I could be with you. School here sucks, without my friends here and without you. Please write back and tell me you'll wait for me. Please! I miss you so much. Things will be better if I know you'll wait for me. Talk to you soon (I hope!)"

Love, Brian

Wow! I never got this letter. I remember arguing with mom and Grandma about life being unfair back then. Brian and I had started dating the summer before we started our senior year in high school. That was ten years ago, but I remember it as though it was yesterday. I had hoped for a long time that Brian would have written to me, and I was heartbroken that he never did. I went on with my life, and in college met the man to whom I was now engaged.

What if I had gotten this letter? I noticed that Brian had written my address wrong. 7934 Walnut instead of 7394 Walnut. Funny how it came to Grandma's house instead of mine. "But why had Grandma not given it to me?" I wondered to myself as I opened the second one. This was from Brian too, about six months later:

"Dear Callie,"

"I don't know why you haven't written to me. It hurts more than you know. But maybe it's for the best. I've met someone else. Her name is Kathy, and we have started dating. She's fun and pretty like you. I really like her a lot.
I still miss you, but I guess you've moved on, since you haven't written to me. I just wanted you to know that I will always love you, but it's different now. It's hard to explain, but there it is. I guess I didn't mean as much to you, since you haven't written to me. I wanted to be fair and let you know. I hope you are happy and well. Take care of yourself."

Sincerely, Brian

I was floored. Both of these letters threw me for a loop. Why hadn't Grandma given them to me? Brian wasn't a bad guy. Anything but. For the first time, I was really angry with Grandma. What right did she have to keep these from me? They were my letter, addressed to me. Why had she even kept them? Question after question started running through my mind. How was Brian? Were he and this Kathy still together? Why did it matter so much?

That last question brought me up short. Why did it matter? I am happy with Brad. I love him, and we are going to be married in the fall. What does it matter about Brian anyway? I couldn't answer that question. I only had "what ifs" when it came to Brian. I had a solid foundation with Brad. I chided myself for even thinking these things. I folded the letters from Brian and shoved them into the back pocket of my jeans. I replaced the lid on the box and then proceeded to put Grandma's things into the packing box. Mom would go through the boxes later, deciding on what to keep and what to donate or throw away.

We worked until evening on Grandma's house. Mom and I put a pretty good dent in packing up things. She would call a moving company to put come put the furniture and boxes into a storage unit. Then we would clean and lock up the house for the realtor to come and put it on the market. It was hard to believe that I would never set foot back into Grandma's house again. I followed Mom in my car and met her at her house. Dad had made some homemade pizza, and we ate and didn't say a whole lot during dinner. I guess they were lost in their own thoughts. I was certainly lost in mine.

By the time I had said goodbye to Mom and Dad, driven home, and walked into my apartment, I was beat. I was physically and mentally drained from the day's activities. I put my purse on the kitchen table and walked into the bedroom. Too tired to even take a shower, I just peeled off my clothes and threw on an old t-shirt of Brad's and fell into bed. It wasn't long before I was asleep. Even the letters I had discovered would take a back seat to the tiredness that I felt.

The next day, I woke up mostly recovered from the packing. I jumped into the shower and washed the griminess off the day before off of me. After toweling off, putting my hair in a ponytail and putting on some clean clothes, I headed to the kitchen to make some coffee. I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and set it on the charger. I forgot to do that last night and the battery died overnight. Grumbling about that I set about making some toast for breakfast.

I grabbed some juice out of the fridge, and sat down to the table with my toast and coffee. I didn't have to go to work today, since it was Sunday, and I was glad. After eating, I put the plate and glass in the sink. I'd do dishes later, and clean up the house while I was at it. I'm not the neatest housekeeper, much to Grandma's dismay, but I do ok. I was about to turn the TV on for background noise, when someone knocked on the door. I walked over to answer it. Brad was at the door. "Why haven't you answered your phone?" he asked me as he dropped a kiss on my forehead.
"Sorry, forgot to charge it last night. It's on the charger now." I replied.

"Oh, ok. How did the packing go yesterday. I would have helped if I could, you know."
"Yeah, that's ok. Mom and I got the little stuff packed up. She's calling a moving company Monday to load everything and take to storage."
Brad smiled at me. "Looks like I need to help you with the house. You know, well need to start practicing once we move in together."
I laughed. "You want to take the bedroom or the dishes?" He shuddered at the thought of dishes and quickly ran into the bedroom. "Coward!" I called out to him, still laughing. I turned to the kitchen area and started the dishes. There weren't that many, so I didn't bother with the dishwasher. It only took about fifteen minutes to wash and dry the few dishes that were in the sink. After drying and putting away the dishes, I went into the bedroom to see how Brad was doing. He could be a stickler for neatness, and I prepared myself to be ribbed about throwing my clothes on the floor.

When I walked in, the first thing I noticed was how still Brad was. In his hands were the letters I had shoved into my pocket the other day. He looked up at me with a puzzled look on his face. "What are these?"
I could only look at him.