15 years in 15 minutes

when you wake up in the morning the first thing you most likely so is look at your phone. you go through your Twitter mentions or your likes Instagram pics. you fav or like your favorite celebrities tweets/pictures & smile cause of how happy they made you or something funny you related to because you like their content. when I turned 14 Nash started vining I hated him I thought he thought he was so funny but he wasn't and I thought Magcon was stupid. about 4-6 months later something changed, I changed and developed a sense of enjoyment watching this boy create content in a different format then usual & I thought it was creative. I became obsessed as a way to forget about the way I was treated in middle school. a couple months passed by where my friends told me to shut up about him or that "he doesn't even know you exist why do you still care" & I didn't know why I still cared but it was easier then confessing that school Addison & at home Addison were two different people & only one thing in her life was consistent & that was the 16 year old boy from Mooresville, NC. I began to rebel and spend more time on the Internet tweeting this social media superstar instead of studying her math homework and her grades began to fall. My parents were fighting a lot more & Harper wasn't the nicest to me and I felt alone. in my house my entire family can sing and I just couldn't or not as well as the others. one day my mom went out of town on business and my dad had recently bought a piano and he was playing basic chords AFGC and he lights wrote them on in pencil so I could easily find them weeks passed and I learned ABCDEFG a few days passed and I learned to hold down 3 finger for each chord. now days I'm the best piano player in my family. I can play two handed, eyes closed, with no music. I started feeling & becoming more apart of my family and they didn't treat me like the adopted stupid child who will end up in jail. I focused more on school & my friendships because real and not behind a profile picture. I started being the 7,458 RT on Nash's timeline and being okay with it. I started not even RT all to most and his fame died down in my world. August 14, 2014 first day of freshman year and my Instagram name was ad.grier people actually thought my last name was grier and they would introduce me like that. I started to notice how stupid it was but I still loved him with most of my heart. he protected me from the tears & pain my family & Brittany Hill caused. September 25, 2014 I met Savannah Dillon. we randomly took a picture cause our friend groups in gym class started combining. I later found out she was in m math class and asked her if she would walk with me to class every day since September 25, 2015. months flew by and me asking her to walk to class became are daily thing we just waited and walked with each other. when Christmas break came Nash 17th birthday happened and I through the biggest social media party ever. I had gotten suspended from the use of social media 2 weeks prior. I slowly became more real life social instead of always in my phone. I met Caeden Smithpeter in my English class freshman year. he was really popular so I thought it would be good for me since he was best friends with the guy I had been crushing on. one day my ex-Best friend asked me who I was dating so Caeden said I could say he was my boyfriend and ever since January 9, 2015 Caeden was my fake boyfriend. I earlier developed more feelings for Shawn Mendes as my music experience broadened and and became more into the social media star with the talent then the one who was famous for his blue eyes and four year old sister. right around my birthday I went to the Shawn concert and it was the best day of my life I had never been happier. the following day we went to Nashville for my sisters college trip and we didn't get home till late Monday night and I went to school that Tuesday people asking me about the concert and there was different schedules so I didn't walk the same places j normally did and I didn't see some people Wednesday day came and I was sitting in my third hour my favorite class ever and I over heard Drew Martin saying "Joey killed himself last night" & I asked him loudly not caring what anyone thought. "Joey Hammon" drew responded right at that moment I don't think I have ever felt worse then we my dad and mom told me 1 month exactly before my grandma was Diagnosed with multiple myeloma stage 3. I immediately shut down didn't know how to respond cried stopped breathing choked I didn't say one word the rest of class. Savannah as usual met me up by my class and saw me crying so she rushed me to the bathroom to clean up before math not caring if we were late but to see I her best friend was okay and that was the climax of our friendship. we arrived to math mrs. reece understanding the situation and me trying to hold myself together while no one the rest of the day would shut up about him. I put on a fake face a got through the rest of the day. once I got to fifth hour I didn't know how to act so I laughed it off and my bhms friends came and comforted me as did Joanne Lee my other best friend. weeks went by and He was constantly on my mind. I listened to Shawn to relive pain and tried to laugh. once summer started and camp was here I had been waiting for camp since last summer I missed my friends and I really need some positive people. and camp was really hard with the lose of Joey and my three best friend (Abby, Jo, sav) all going to south and I felt friendless and it was hard. but I lived it and I'm passed the hard part. there isn't a day when I don't think about Joey or the times he made me the happiest on the planet soon to be replaced my nash and to official say it. and you can quote me. I'm done with Nash. I'll follow him on social media but I'm not going to be obsessed or try to meet him but I I run into him in the street heck yeah I'm getting a picture anyone would. but Nash isn't my priority Joey is and making sure that doesn't happen again. because Social media may be how I found Nash but it's how I lost Joey & I would give anything even Nash never becoming famous for the return of Joey Hammon. they say your life shapes you my life shaped me into this and I don't wanna be this I wanna be free.