Keep It

Ashamed, I approach it
it clings to my soul, no matter how much of me I was away
I know I should keep my distance, but I never push it away
my hand tell me how many grams
not a number, just what's right
my veins let it melt its weight
and its ever shifting forms
and fights for the balance of it

Scoring white lines mindfully in mindlessness
a little more defined with every day
ever inching closer to higher perfection
of those intoxicating white lines

I bring myself to fall on them
hard, but not crushingly so
the fire hardwires madness into my spirit
the flow seeps soothingly into my body
the zen of insanity
never wishing to stop
now
that I've already begun

I am POWER
FULL of unstoppable might
wielding fiercely
tides of meticulous calculations
the aftershock
of my counter attack
subdues the unforeseeable
before it showed
or thought to
exist

I am the mold
that folds to you
that tells you to bend
the device of the intent
the mediator of the pacifist
a immaculate sculpture
that was never conjured
or given to a thought
but just was

I am the unbreakable
asking to be broken
batter me
shake me
weigh me to the dirt with your demands
and I fight harder
streamline without time
striking down
lightning stands in awe of me

I do not tire
i have my grams
i consume it
force it
radiate it out of me
the whiteness
just a blur
that's perfectly outlined
and when i'm out
they bow to me
and get out of my way
those who know what's good for them

And when there is none
no longer my beautiful white
shimmering
lovely white
i crash back into the world you know
leaving that small void
for the longing
that keeps my shame
Alive

But at least I know my home
so keep yours
keep your cocaine
and leave me my rice
the grain that grinds me
to life

I roll not the sushi

Sushi rolls me