Head vs Heart

You let me think there was us, let me think it was love,
You let me believe in you, a point and a cause,
I fell landed on my feet, woke up from the deep sleep I was somehow in,
Daydreaming, hoping, it would all be worth something.
Falling, no grasping of what we were doing,
Or who we were hurting.
No idea where we were going, floating,
Clinging to the debris left, no coping.
Drowning.
Hurting, each other, whenever we could, doing things no lover would.
Swearing and cursing, your cheating, my words,
Bodies would have turnt in their graves if they'd heard.
No rest, just fights, days into nights,
Neighbours call police and families wanna' fight.
No rest for the wicked, we choose this,
To run around in circles, and chasing, what was ever insight.
Too young and naive to plan it properly, now nowhere to turn,
Turned our friends in to enemies.
Now im reacting to this anger that I buried inside me.
Your still depriving me of the life, I tried providing, for you,
Us, including our babies, but you threw it in my face,
Up, left and deserted-a woman who stood by you and helped you regardless.
Through 8 years you repeated this, continuos.
I love you and hate you, too powerful emotions,
And haunted with the thought of once again falling, for the seed of a demon,
No meaning to this anger we are creating, or the emotions we are provoking, with our crying and our screaming.
We should have held each other and cared, cos' we were both young and scared,
Gave our support and shared the thoughts we had and on this mess we caused and wondering if it was best to just walk away,
End it all.
I pity the fool who would go back and risk it all.
For your heart to be heavy and your eyes tearful.
So I closed my eyes and took the fall.
And I am doing this without you.

WhiteWidow
2015