Part 3

The beginning of that summer was the best. I had a boyfriend, and he was amazing. My best friend had a fun boyfriend, and they were best friends. The four of us were always together. Until one night, Jess and Jay decided to watch a movie in my room while Joe and I were watching one in the living room. We’re fine with this, we haven’t had any alone time all day. After about an hour, we start hearing noises. We can’t help but laugh. Jess and Jay walk out a little while later, out of breath and sweaty. We all know what happened, but we don’t say anything. Jay just looks at Joe and says he thinks it’s time they head home. Joe kisses me and the guys take off.
“Was it as good as your first time?” I question Jess as soon as the guys are out of the yard.
“It was okay…I don’t know if I can keep doing it though.” She replies.
“What’s it like?” I ask her, still embarrassed that I don’t know.
“It’s kind of like exercise, but it feels so much better. The way they touch you is just unexplainable.” She explains.
“Oh…” I answer.
“You haven’t done anything besides kiss him have you?!” She asks me, shocked.
“No, I’m still scared to…he keeps trying, but I keep stopping him.” I tell her honestly.
“Wow, he’s a lot more patient than most guys.” She says.
“What do you mean?” I question.
“Well, it’s been like 2 months, and most guys won’t stick around if they aren’t getting what they want, and I promise you, he wants it.” She answers me, in that ‘big sister’ tone again.
“Oh…well, maybe I’ll do something about it then.” I reply and walk to my bedroom.
The next month is weird. Jess and Jay start fighting, and they break up and get back together like ten times. Joe and I on the other hand, we start fooling around. The first time it happens, we’re alone in the house. Jess and Jay had gone to the corner store to get some munchies, and my parents are at work.
We start making out, and instead of laying me on my side like he usually does, Joe lays on top of me. He starts kissing my neck, and nibbles on my ear. His hands are all over my stomach and thighs. When he starts to lift my shirt up, I stop him. I flip back on my side, and let him keep going. He tries pulling my shirt off, but I won’t let him. I tell him they’ll be back soon, and I don’t want them to walk in. He’s okay with that excuse and leaves it on. Eventually, he slides his hand back down, and starts to undo the button on my jeans. I start shaking, because I’m nervous. He stops and just looks at me.
“If you want me to stop, I will. I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.” He tells me, like I should’ve known that.
“I want to, I’m just scared. No one’s ever done that before. I mean I’ve never done anything but kiss a guy before.” I explain.
“Me either. And I want you to be the first one, but I don’t want it to be too soon.” He replies.
I smile at him and kiss his cheek. We fix our clothes, and my hair. After we walk back to the living room, we find Jess on the couch in a horrible mood. I give Joe a sad smile and ask him if we can have some girl time. I walk him to the door and he kisses me. Then he whispers in my ear ‘I’ll call you in a few hours…I have to make sure Jay’s okay. Just remember what I said earlier. Not until you’re ready.’ Then he’s gone.
I go sit next to Jess on the couch and ask what’s wrong. She launches into a long story about the fight she and Jay had. Every name she can possibly think of comes out of her mouth then she says he was just using her for sex. That’s the first time she’s ever used the word sex so casually. I’m a little worried, but I just let her keep complaining. Jay is officially out of the picture, and Jess claims that she can’t be happier about it. She’s in a bad mood for the rest of the night.
The next morning, I wake up to Jess packing her bag. She’s decided that she’s going home for a few days because she doesn’t want to run into Jay if he comes over with Joe. I give her a hug and tell her to call me later. That’s when Jay calls me.
“I have to tell you something.” He immediately jumps to the point.
“What could you possibly have to say to me, Jay?” I question him.
“I saw Joe flirting with another girl earlier.” He answers.
“Whatever, he wouldn’t do that to me. When you have a real reason to call me you can.” I reply and hang up.
I call Joe and remind him that my birthday is coming up. He says he already has my present and I can’t have it until my birthday. What Jay said is still bothering me though. I tell him I have stuff to do and hang up.
After a week of everything being weird, I decide to break up with him. School is about to start, and we’ll never see each other anyway. I can’t bring myself to do it though. I make Jess call him and do it for me.
Immediately, there is a boy. His name is Zack, and he lives down the road from Jess. We start talking more and more. Finally, he asks me out. Of course I say yes. We date, and kind of fool around, mostly make out for a few weeks, but I miss Joe. A few weeks later, it’s my 14th birthday. Zack calls and tells me happy birthday first thing that morning. Then he tells me that he’s been cheating on me with a girl named Celia, and breaks up with me. I break down crying and Jess tries her hardest to make me feel better, but I just want Joe. After I stop crying, I call his house.
“I’m sorry Hun, Joe’s not home. He said he was going to Jay’s then to meet another friend.” His mom explains.
“Oh, Okay…will you just tell him I called?” I ask her.
“Sure, I’ll tell him.” She answers
I hang up the phone and tell everyone I’m going to bed. A few hours later, Jess comes in my room.
“There’s someone here to see you.” She says quietly.
“You know the only person I want to talk to right now.” I reply, still upset.
“Then you might want to come in the living room.” She answers and walks out.
I jump out of bed, not caring that I look horrible. There is still tear streaks on my cheeks, and my hair looks like crap, but I run to the living room anyway. I don’t even make it to the end of the hallway before I’m back in his arms. Joe hugs me and drags me back to my room so we can talk.
“Jess told me what happened.” He starts.
“Yea…I was stupid for ever even talking to him…” I trail off.
“Kind of. But I have to ask…why did you break up with me?” He asks.
“Because of what Jay told me. He said you were flirting with another girl.” I explain.
“She was flirting with me. I wouldn’t do that to you. I was going to tell you I loved you…why would I flirt with another girl?” He answers.
“You were going to say what?” I squeak.
He laughs at me and says “I can’t say it unless I’m saying it to my girlfriend.”
“Well, if you still want her, she’s right here.” I quietly answer him.
He kisses my cheek and says he’ll always want me. Then he looks me dead in the eye and says he loves me. I beam at him and say it right back. We head back to the living room and have cake with Jess and my Mom. Joe leaves, and we leave for our birthday shopping trip. Later when I come home, I find a note taped to my bedroom window.
‘I do love you. And I’m so happy that we’re back together. I hope you had fun today shopping with the girls. If it’s not too late when you get back, call me.
Love, Joe’
I start smiling again and call him. He waits until everyone is asleep there, and calls me back.
“Yea, everybody is sleeping. Why?” I ask him.
“I want to see you. Can I come over?” He explains.
“You’ll have to climb through my bedroom window, and we’ll have to be super quiet.” I answer.
“That’s fine. I’ll see you soon.” He replies and hangs up.
I get horrible butterflies, and start pacing the bedroom until I hear him tap on the glass. I open the window and remove the screen. Then I hand him a chair so he can use it to climb up. I watch him crawl through the window and bring the chair back in. Immediately, he starts to kiss me. I don’t stop him. It feels so good after so long. We eventually make it to the bed. He pulls his shirt off and starts to kiss me again. His hands feel rough and strong against my skin as he slides my shirt up. I won’t let him take it off all the way though. He slides his hands down my sides to my hips. I slightly lift them so he can slide my pajama pants down. He stops and looks at me.
“Are you sure?” He asks, kind of shocked.
“I don’t know, but I’m okay with this much.” I answer.
Joe’s lips are immediately back on mine. Down my neck, on my ears. He’s all over. Then his hand starts going higher and higher up my thigh. I don’t stop him, because it feels good, but I’m a little nervous. He must have ESP, because he stops.
“If you want me to stop, just tell me.” He says.
“Okay,” I answer in a shaky voice.
“I mean it. I don’t want you to be unsure about it.” He replies and starts to kiss me again. His hand stops right at my panty line. I pull him in for a long kiss, and nudge my thigh against his hand, willing him to keep going. He slowly slides a finger under my panties. I’m scared to death, but I don’t want him to stop. He takes his other hand and moves mine to his crotch. I finally understand what Jess was talking about. I slowly unbutton his jeans and slide them down. By this point, we’re both shaking. Neither of us knows what to do from here.
I start tracing the top of his boxers with my finger. He moans a little and I decide to go a little lower. He arches his hips so I can reach easier. His fingers start moving along my panty line again. I nudge him so he knows I’m not going to stop him. I slide my hand completely down his boxers, and wrap my hand around it. I’ve never even seen a penis, let alone touched one. Its hard and warm in my hand. He moans again and slides my panties down to my ankles. I start stroking it, like Jess has talked about doing. He seems to like it so I keep going, but a little faster. He smiles at me and starts to rub his fingers on my crotch. Then he takes one finger, and slowly slides it inside me. I can’t help but moan. It hurts a little, but it feels so good. We keep doing what we’re doing for awhile. Me stroking, and him, sliding his finger in and out. When he starts to get loud, I stop. Since I stop, he stops.
He starts kissing me again, but that’s all I want. I can’t believe I let him touch me like that, and that I did that to him. He tries to start something again and I stop him.
“That’s the first time I’ve ever done that.” I say shyly.
“Me too, but I don’t want to stop.” He answers.
“I’m kind of sore. It hurt a little bit.” I reply.
“Oh, well I don’t want to hurt you, so I’ll stop.” He answers and takes his hand off my thigh.
“It’s getting really late. You should probably go home.” I say, trying to figure out what just happened.
“You’re right. I should.” He agrees.
“I’ll call you tomorrow…okay?” I ask.
“Alright. I love you.” He says.
“I love you too.” I smile as I answer him.
We get dressed, and he takes the screen out of the window. Once he’s ready to jump, he turns around and kisses me. He says I love you one more time, and he’s gone. I watch him sneak out of the yard and fix my window, so Mom and Dad won’t know. I crawl in bed and hold myself. I feel so different. I don’t know how, or why. Just different. Eventually I fall asleep.
The next day, I sleep later than usual. Jess comes in to wake me up and just stares at me. I think she knows, but I don’t say anything. I don’t want her to know yet. I tell her I’ll be out in a few minutes and get up to get dressed. When I walk into the kitchen, Jess and Mom both look at me funny. I ignore them and grab a pop from the fridge. I walk into the living room and turn on the TV. Jess follows and sits right next to me. She turns towards me and pulls her legs up on the couch, puts her arms up and props her head in her hands. She just stares at me until I finally turn around and ask her what she wants.
“I heard the screen last night...” She whispers, so Mom can’t hear.
“So?” I ask her.
“So….was Joe over?” She questions.
“Yea…he wanted to give me my present.” I reply.
“Uh-huh….that moaning was no present. That was at least half nakedness.” She teases.
“Don’t say anything until Mom leaves. I’ll tell you later.” I answer and walk away from her.
I go take a shower, just to avoid talking to Jess. Normally, I’d tell her everything, but for some reason I don’t want her to know about this. I purposely wait until I hear Mom leave before I get out and dry off. As soon as I open the bathroom door, Jess is right there. She follows me to my bedroom so we can talk without waking Dad up.
“Details!” Jess demands, as soon as the door is shut.
“He called after everyone was asleep and I snuck him in through the window.” I explain.
“Yea…and then?” She asks.
“And then nothing. We talked for a little while and fooled around. Then He went home.” I give her the short version.
“Oh no…that was the most fooling around you two have ever done. I heard it!” She exclaims.
“You didn’t hear anything. You’re nuts.” I laugh at her.
“Then who was moaning? It definitely wasn’t me or Mom.” She retorts.
“Oh…Alright!” I finally cave in. I tell her everything. Down to the last intimate detail. Finally, Jess looks at me and all she says is ‘be careful.’
For the next few months, and past my next birthday, Joe and I spend most of our time together in my room. We tell everyone that we’re watching movies, but Jess knows what’s really going on. She covers for us if Mom starts to ask questions. Joe keeps asking if I want to go further, and I can’t do it. He starts to act weird, like he doesn’t want to be around anymore. The beginning of November, Jay starts coming over again. Apparently, he and Jess have worked everything out.
Over Thanksgiving break, Jay stops by to see if Jess is there. I tell him she’ll be back in a few hours, and that she’s just down the road at her aunt’s house. He winds up staying. After a little while, Jay gets up to get something to drink. He asks if I want anything and brings me some punch.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you for awhile.” He says.
“About what?” I ask, taking a drink.
“About you and Joe. Something he said awhile ago.” He replies.
“What’d he say?” I question.
“Well, he was talking about what you guys do when you’re in your bedroom.” He starts.
“And?” I’m starting to get worried.
“Well, he said if you don’t give it up soon he’s going to find a girl that will.” He blurts.
“Oh. Well, he keeps telling me that it’s fine. If I want to wait we can.” I quote Joe.
“Of course he’s going to tell you that. He wants you to want to do it.” He explains.
“I guess I’ll have to do something about it then huh?” I answer him.
I stand up, feeling a little woozy. I kind of feel drunk, but there’s no way. I didn’t drink anything today, and Jay wouldn’t spike my punch…would he? I call Joe and ask him to come over. Soon, Jess is back. She and Jay stay in the living room while Joe and I go watch a movie. We start making out, and shortly after, Jess knocks and says her and Jay are going to see some friends at the park. Joe and I are completely alone for the first time ever. He smiles at me when he realizes this.
“You know what they expect right?” He asks.
“Yea, I think so.” I answer him. “I think I want to…” I trail off.
“You know I do, but are you sure?” He asks.
“Yea. Just promise you’ll stop if I ask.” I reply.
“I promise.” He smiles, and starts to kiss me.
Everything is blurry, and it feels like time keeps speeding up and slowing down. I’m lying in my bed, kissing Joe. Then I’m half naked. The only thing I have on is my shirt. He’s in his boxers. I’m disoriented, but I don’t want to stop him. If I do, he’ll leave me. That’s what Jay said anyway. I can feel him touching me, and I know I’m touching him. Everything just feels surreal. The next thing I know, I’m straddling him. He’s looking at me like he can’t believe this is happening, and I know I have to do it. I lean down and kiss him. I flip us over while we’re kissing, so he’s on top. I slide his boxers down and start to kiss him again. He grinds his hips against mine, and I arch against him. He stops and says ‘If you don’t say stop now, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to.’ I pull him down to kiss him again, and he moans. “I don’t want you to stop this time.”
I wake up with a headache, and I don’t remember anything. Joe is laying naked, sleeping next to me. I look down and realize that I’m naked too. I start to remember bits and pieces. When I finally figure out what happened, I start to quietly cry. He wakes up and asks me if I’m okay.
“Yea. Just kind of shocked. I can’t believe it finally happened.” I answer him, trying to smile.
“Me either.” He replies with a smile.
“Still love me?” I ask him.
“Always will.” He reassures me.

















Dress shopping…
Basically it’s a lot of crazy sales women in a dressing room seeing you half naked. They put you in dresses you hate but you can’t be mean about it. Then when you try to leave, they find ‘just one more’ and you have to put it on. Today was a huge bust. I can’t wait to get back to my warm bed and my baby’s arms.














We walk out into the living room and find that we’re still alone. We find a movie and cuddle until Jess and Jay come back. They’re fighting again so Jay leaves. Joe looks at me and says he’s got to calm him down and that he’ll call me later. He gives me a kiss and leaves. Jess looks at me like she wants to cry, but then her whole face changes. All she says is ‘OH MY GOD!’ I jump off the couch and run to my bedroom and try to lock the door, but she pushes it open before I get the chance.
“WHAT HAPPENED?” she screams at me.
“What do you think?” I quickly retort back and hide under the covers on my bed.
“You slut!…just kidding,” she replies “I want details.”
“No. I still don’t’ want to talk about it.” I answer her.
She looks at me weird and says “You wanted to right?”
“Yes, I did. It just wasn’t what I was expecting…” I explain, “I’ll tell you when I’m ready. Right now though, I’m sore and tired. I’m going to take a nap.”
“K.” she answers and walks out.
I avoid everyone for the rest of the night. When Joe finally calls to tell me good night, I pretend to be sleeping. Jess tells him I’ve been in bed since he left, but I’m okay and she’s sure I’ll call him after school tomorrow.
The next morning, my legs hurt so bad. I don’t want to get out of bed and go to school, but if I stay home, Mom will know something is going on and I don’t want to tell her. I struggle through my morning routine and very slowly walk out to the car. Jess giggles and asks how I’m feeling. I flip her off and let her have the front seat. ‘School is going to be hell’ I keep thinking in my head. ‘Trying to explain to all my friends why I can’t walk…’ The thought trails off and I curl up trying not to show Mom how sore I am.

First and second hour are easy. I just play it off like I’m tired. After that though, Alexis and Amanda start asking questions. I tell Amanda I was on my bike for too long and now my legs hurt. Alexis hears it, but doesn’t believe me. She waits until we get to lunch and drags me to the bathroom for the real story. I tell her what happened, but not in detail. Just that her best friend was no longer a virgin. She squeals loud enough to make the other girls look at us like we’re crazy. Jess just smiles and walks out, she already knows.
During fourth hour though, some girl I hardly talk to looks at me and says ‘I can’t believe you would do that. It’s so gross.’ I tell her to mind her own business and start wondering who talked. I’ve only told two people. I’m distracted for the rest of the day. I find Alexis at the end of the day and ask her if she said anything. She says she told Jean but that’s it. Jean wouldn’t say anything, so I try to hunt Jess down. I can’t find her until I get off the bus at Grandma’s. I give her the dirtiest look I possibly can without crying. She runs over and hugs me.
“I didn’t say anything to anyone….someone over heard you in the bathroom at lunch and now the whole school knows.” She explains.
“Those bitches…The worst part is that everyone thinks I’m lying because they don’t know Joe.” I cry into her shoulder.
“Screw them. I know and so do the other people that matter.” She replies.
“I know. You want to hear about it?” I ask her.
“Hell yea, I do!” She exclaims.
I giggle and walk into Grandma’s to let her know I’m going to Jess’s. After we get there, we make a snack, throw our bags on the bedroom floor and settle in for the juicy details. I finally cave and tell her everything, from how he started it all the way through. The parts I remember anyway. She says it sounds better than her first time and just drops it. We spend the rest of the night doing homework, well me doing homework and Jess basically copying mine. When Mom gets there, Jess asks if she can spend the night. Her mom has to work until 3 a.m. and she doesn’t want to be home alone. Mom tells her to go pack a bag and call her mom at work to let her know. Shortly after, we head to my house.
I get home and call Joe first thing. He’s still doing homework, so I wait for a call back. He never calls. As I’m laying down for bed, the phone finally rings. I jump up to answer it, hoping it’s him.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey you, I missed you today.” I hear Jay say.
I giggle, “Wrong girl, I’ll go get Jess,” I reply.
“Oh, sorry Kate,” He laughs as he answers.
I scream for Jess and she picks up in the living room. I grab the line in my room and tell her I want to talk to Joe before she hangs up. She says she’ll bring me the phone when she’s done and I lay back down and wait. After a half an hour she brings me the phone. She’s all smiles and in a better mood, so I assume that her and Jay worked things out again. I start getting nervous as I take the phone.
“Joe?” I ask.
“Yea, honey, it’s me,” He answers.
“Good. I missed you today,” I reply.
“Me too, I really want to see you,” He says.
“Me too, want to sneak over later? I’ll leave the window open,” I suggest.
“See you in an hour,” He sounds excited.
“I love you…” I let it trail off, to see how he acts.
“I love you too, and I can’t wait to see you,” He replies. “I’ll see you soon.”
Then he hangs up. I jump up and go brush my teeth again. I tiptoe into Mom’s room to make sure she’s asleep then go check on Jess. She’s still up so I tell her what’s going on. She giggles and says that she’s waiting for Jay too. I laugh and we both go wait in my room. It’s taking too long for them to get there though, so we dig out our hidden pack of cigarettes and sneak out through the garage. We’re standing in the driveway smoking when we hear some rustling on the other side of the house. We sneak around the back and try to scare the guys. It’s not them though, it was just a rabbit. We walk back to our spot and scream at the top of our lungs. The guys snuck around the other way and are standing in the shadow by the garage. We all laugh and sneak back in. Luckily, our screams didn’t wake up Mom. Once we’re all safely in the house, the four of us snuggle up on my bed and start a movie. About halfway through, Jess and Jay start making out, so I kick them out. Chris is at Grandma’s, so they can go in his room. Joe and I are finally alone.
“So, how are you feeling? I know you were sore when I left yesterday.” He asks.
“Still sore. I didn’t think it would be this bad.” I reply.
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I just really wanted to see you and make sure you were okay, since you were sleeping when I called last night,” He says.
“Yea, I’m fine,” I answer and lean over to kiss him.
He lays down and pats the spot next to him. I snuggle in and we just lay there watching movies for awhile. When I hear my alarm go off, I roll over to turn it off and realize he’s still there. I wake him up in a panic and sneak him out the window. I hope Mom’s not awake yet, I don’t want her to see his bike outside. I watch out the window to make sure he gets out of the yard without anyone noticing, then make a mad dash to check on Jess and Jay. She’s up and says that he left like an hour ago and Mom’s still out so she doesn’t know. We hear the garage door opening so we know Dad just got home. We both let out a huge sigh of relief and start to get ready for school.
Twenty minutes later, the phone rings. It’s Joe, letting me know he made it home before his parents woke up and he’s not in trouble. We talk for a few minutes about what we are doing after school, and hang up. Jess still hasn’t heard from Jay and she’s worried. His dad might literally kill him if he caught him sneaking back in. We get in the car to head to school, both worried about Jay, but relieved that Mom and Dad didn’t catch us. Mom notices how quiet we are and asks what’s wrong.
“Nothing, just tired,” Jess and I answer in unison.
“That was a little too quick…What are you two up to?” She asks.
“Nothing, we were just up late watching movies,” I answer for both of us.
“Yep, we were up ‘til like three,” Jess corroborates my story.
“I still don’t believe you. I’m never going to know the truth though, so I’ll take it for now. But whatever it was, don’t do it again. You both look guilty as hell right now,” Mom replies.
“Okay,” We answer in unison again.
The rest of the ride to school is quiet. All you can hear is the wind and other cars outside and Jess quietly singing along with the radio. Once we pull in the parking lot, Alexis is waiting by the door for me. We go our separate ways for the day.
The next few months go by as usual. Nothing exciting happens. The only difference is instead of fooling around, it’s sex. I’m so surprised that Mom hasn’t caught on. I know she’s not a complete idiot. I guess she just assumes that I’d tell her. I always promised her I would before I had sex. I’m afraid to though.

















Hmmmm……Found the dress, now for the other details…
I may have to take one little test first though, I’ve never been this late before. Kind of scary to think there’s a chance of me being…..nope, not gonna say it. If I say it it’ll come true. I’m sure it’s nothing, I’ll buy the test tomorrow and hopefully it’ll be negative. No, it will be….I hope….















Nothing major is happening, just the usual. Fooling around with Joe, watching Jess and Jay fight all the time…I wish they’d just break up for good and get it over with. They drive me crazy sometimes. It’s been a few months, and I’ve finally talked Joe into coming to our winter dance with me. That way the rumors about me lying about my boyfriend will stop. It’s so annoying that everyone, I mean everyone except for Jess and Alexis think I’m lying all because they haven’t met him. Whatever though, I’ll prove them all wrong soon.
Of course, the week of the dance comes around and Mom tells me I can’t go.
“Why can’t I go? That’s so unfair!” I whine as I try to get my way.
“Your grades are slipping for one, and for two, you won’t have a way there, remember? Your Dad, Brother, and I will be gone this weekend and you are staying home with your grandparents. Period.” Mom answers.
“Can Joe at least come over and help me study then?” I ask, hoping I’ll get to see him somehow…even though I’m more than willing to sneak out after my grandparents are sleeping.
“That’s fine. He just can’t stay late, and if all your homework is done, AND if, IF your progress report is better, I’ll let Jess come stay Friday night k?” She smiles, knowing that I really want her here.
“K, FINE. I’m gonna go break this horrible, life ending news to my amazing best friend and boyfriend. When I have to tell them why, I’m saying that my heartless mother wants to break all of our spirits and kill our dreams…” I trail off as I walk away, knowing that Mom’s rolling her eyes behind me.
“Stop reading overdramatic teen romance novels, you’re driving me crazy.” Mom ends our conversation.
Back in my room, I hurry up and call Jess before Joe calls me for the night. She’s just as mad as I am about it. We had plans, but oh well. We always seem to have more fun at home than anywhere else. We can be ourselves and not care what anyone else thinks. My phone finally rings, after what feels like the longest day of my life. Of course, it’s Joe.