Feeling the walls I built crumbling all around me, Panicking for this is not how it’s supposed to be, I was supposed to stay strong, tall, I was never meant to fall. Feeling the tears my eyes cannot stop, Seeing my body to the floor drop, Trying to regain control of my gut reactions, I end up breaking into a million fractions. As the sobs become more uncontrollable, I wish I could become more consolable, But I am alone in the darkness wanting to cut again, I want to inflict onto myself more pain. My vision is blurry; the world around me is spinning, And I cut, though I know I shouldn’t for I am sinning, As my blood stains the wooden floor, I grip my wrist, waiting for more. I should be afraid of this monster inside of me, But I’m not; instead I am grinning in glee, I am sick and twisted, and I don’t want anyone else to know, If anyone notices my scars, I tell them I got a nasty blow. I feel bad for lying, but they can’t understand, So, when facing the monster, alone I stand, Without a remedy to help me get better, I will need to buy another sweater. I am sending out an SOS, which no one can see, Nobody will come to rescue me, I am drowning in my madness, And this only strengthens my sadness. |