Treasure Island

Treasure Island

Japp Carson sat on the beach staring out at the vast ocean.  The view resembled something one might have seen in a brochure advertising luxurious getaways for people in the Northern hemisphere hungry for sunshine during the bitter winter months – pale sand, translucent, turquoise water lapping at the shore and the sun burning a hole in the bright blue, cloudless sky.

Japp, however, was not quite feeling the holiday spirit, partly to do with the fact of course that he wasn’t actually on holiday.  As he surveyed the scene he felt inexplicably and considerably older than he had done three weeks previously when he disembarked from the boat and his feet touched the island for the first time.  It seemed like more than twenty one days ago that their group had sped up to the island, cheering and shouting with all the vigour and excitement they possibly could for the camera crews flanking them on either side, eager to get the public onside from the word go – as was vitally important in any reality television programme.

Japp had been a favourite from the outset, an ex-basketball pro from Dallas, he stood just over seven feet tall and his chiselled good looks coupled with his Texas drawl made him quite a hit with the ladies watching the British made show.  Indeed, he had made the final six, the other two thirds of the group having been voted off for one misdemeanour or another by the discerning public.  Oddly, none of the female celebrities were left in – he had overheard the producer lamenting about it to one of the camera men the previous night, of how his desire to bring in some new girls last minute in a shock twist had been overruled by the TV company.

The sportsman shifted slightly, something catching his eye along the shoreline; it was one of the camera men, Phillip, ambling over to him in his shorts and flip flops, the camera dangling absently from his shoulder.  Japp fidgeted with the ball in his hands – not really a ball, it was actually an old red balloon rescued from one of their earlier challenges and half filled with sand.  It didn’t bounce, of course, but it kind of emulated the feel of a basketball.

“Alright Japp,” Phillip greeted him amiably as he neared, lifting the camera to his face and popping off the lens cap. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Not too bad actually,” Japp replied. “Slept okay last night – and dinner wasn’t bad, almost like a proper meal!” He grinned and Phillip laughed in reply.  Japp’s distaste for the traditionally “English” dishes most of the other celebrities on the programme preferred had become a talking point and a subject for banter on and off screen.

“Now,” The camera man continued, in a more serious tone. “How are you feeling about the final challenge – you’ve made it this far, do you think you can win, Japp?”

“Well, that’s the question isn’t it?  I’m feeling pretty confident, I’m ready for whatever they throw at us today.  You know, I’m a competitive person and I want to win.  When you’re a kid, they say it’s the taking part that counts and not the winning, but to be honest, for me it’s the winning’s what matters.”

“And you’re used to winning of course, back in The States, I mean, you won a lot of games?”

“Oh sure, I’ve won some big games in my time, I have a whole load of trophies at home.  But you know, that part of my life is over now, and I want to prove that I have just what it takes to win at anything!”

That last part was a lie.  Not the part about wanting to win at everything but the part about basketball being a thing from his past.  In fact, that was why Japp was on the show in the first place.  He was hoping that if some of the big league managers could see him on this show – how popular he was, how fit, how competitive – if he could just PROVE he wasn’t too old to play, then he could quit teaching the sport and get back to where he wanted to be, on the court with all eyes on his next move…..

Suddenly, he felt something whiz by his head and disappear again followed by a crowing laughter like the sound of cat getting its tail trapped in a door.  His stomach fell, but for the camera he maintained a neutral pose as his arch enemy of the island, Peter Brasco came sashaying towards them, his stupid wooden boomerang in his tiny claw-like hand.

Peter Brasco oozed confidence, mainly because he did not care one iota what anybody thought of him or said about him.  He was best known for hosting a television show in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s during which he basically made fun of other celebrities’ minor misfortunes for the appeal of his audience.  In recent years he had mainly worked the reality TV circuit, where producers loved him because he pulled in the viewers and increased the ratings, even though in reality, he wasn’t a very pleasant person to work with.

Brasco didn’t really care about winning the show – which entailed being able to give a large amount of money to one’s chosen charity whilst at the same time raising one’s public profile.  He purely did these things for the money, and to make the other contestants lives miserable.

“Japp, Japp, Jappy! Mah MAIN Man!”  Brasco shouted in a poor imitation of an American accent as he approached, raising his palm for a Hi-five.  Japp obliged, conscious of the camera.

“S’up man?”  He had been very careful over the last few weeks not to get in to fights with the other contestants but with Brasco it was hard and he’d raised his voice talking to the volatile TV Personality more than once.  Phillip swerved the camera to face the newcomer.

“So, Peter – last day!  Final challenge!  How are you feeling?  Think you can win?”

Peter beckoned the camera closer, so that it was right in his face.  “You know what?” He whispered, “I don’t give a FUUUUUUUCK!” This last word he shouted, followed by more injured cat sounds. 

Japp stood up “Y’all, I think I’m going to head back to camp.”

“That’s right Y’ALL,” shouted Brasco in an even worse accent, “Back to camp.  Back to CAMP AMERICA!  Ha ha, got it?  Ooh lahdidah, look at me I’m Mr CAMP America!”

Japp walked away without another word.

                                        ***************************

The “camp” was a series of small wooden huts together with a kitchen and store area and two toilet/shower blocks – one for the men and one for the eight females who had now departed.  There was also a larger hut which served the camera crew, the show’s host, Lucas Dawn and anybody else involved with the show who wasn’t a contestant.  The latter was less of a hut and more of a chalet which included a sauna and a hot tub.  The contestants had originally slept two or three to a hut although now they all had their own.  Japp had originally shared with an ex-England football coach who was voted off on the fourth day.  Peter Brasco (in a cruel twist of fate set by the producers) had originally shared with Joshua Diamond who had moved in with a couple of the girls on the second night.  Joshua was still in the competition and occupied the now vacant bunk to Japp’s right.

Joshua Diamond was famous for playing a typecast openly gay barman on a popular British soap opera.  He had started on the show when he was twenty one and had served there for ten years until the show’s producers felt his character was no longer needed and had him killed in a freak shark incident whilst he was allegedly on holiday in Gran Canaria with his Spanish boyfriend.  Joshua had hit something of a low at this point in his life and had turned to drink and drugs, headlining all the tabloids, before spending a spell in rehab and then hosting a documentary about British charities building wells in African Countries.  This last venture had made him a bit of a “sweetheart” with the British public although not much work had cropped up since and he was hoping that being on “Treasure Island” would change that, especially if he won.

As Japp entered the camp, he spotted Joshua sitting by the remains of last night’s fire in conversation with Ramon Rivier, a Celebrity chef famous for his souffles.  A camera was trained on them as they spoke.  Since Japp didn’t feel like talking and nobody seemed to be preparing breakfast, he began to busy himself with that, fetching eggs and sausages and those weird red beans in a can the Brits tended to like from the store hut.  As he worked, he wondered what the final challenge would be.  Every day had brought a new one and whoever won the challenge received a clue as to where the “hidden chest of gold” was buried, which was the grand prize for winning the show.  Of course, the clues were ridiculously vague and predictably, nobody had found the chest although winning a challenge did treat the winner to some other pleasing experience like an evening on a yacht with one of the girls or a case of beers for themselves and three island mates.  (Unsuprisingly, Peter Brasco had never been selected as an island mate, nor had he won a challenge.)

As today was the last day, whoever won the challenge would find the final clue and they would be able to unearth the treasure and ultimately win the show.  The challenges had taken on many forms – some physical, some mental, and some just borderline ridiculous….. For some reason Japp had a feeling it would be the latter challenging them today.

As Japp started on breakfast, Ramon wandered over to him, followed by a camera.  Japp grinned at him.  Out of all the people he had met on the show, Ramon was his favourite and the only one he thought he would actually keep in touch with when they all returned to their home countries.  Ramon lived in  England but he had been born in Belgium to French parents about ten years before Japp had been born.  He had learned to cook almost as soon as he had learned to walk and he had had a successful career from the latter, publishing several books and hosting a popular TV family cookery show before the tabloids got wind of the fact he was having an affair with a twenty one year old make-up artist from his show and the producers had closed it down swiftly followed by his wife divorcing him and moving back to France with their two teenage children.

Japp initially befriended Ramon because of the chef’s enthusiasm for his Caribbean cooking but as the weeks had passed, the two of them had truly formed a bond of friendship which, unbeknown to them was loved by the public on the outside and the main reason Ramon was still on the show.

“Hey man” greeted Japp as the chef approached and they gave each other a man – hug.

“So, what have you got cooking for our final breakfast?”  Ramon questioned in his accented English.

“Ahhh, man, I got some eggs going on, thought I’d make an omelette of sorts – with some sausages.  You know, I’ve got these red beans, they taste like nothing y’all but you gotta have red beans with every meal! You know, with every breakfast.”

“So… maybe you come to France with me next summer and I’ll show you a proper breakfast – no baked beans.”

“Ah, that sounds good man.”  They both laughed.  The camera man, Jackson, was smiling.

As Japp and Ramon finished cooking the breakfasts, the two remaining contestants appeared – Marshall Logan, a radical left wing UK politician who emerged from his hut stretching and Elijah Coldwell, a twenty three year old singer songwriter from Belfast who always wore a wooden cross around his neck and who had recently had a top ten single was just beginning to get offered gigs at major festivals.  Brasco entered the camp from the beach, still yapping for the cameraman and the group  sat down to breakfast waiting for presenter Lucas Dawn to arrive and put them out of their misery, letting them know what that very last challenge was going to be.

Lucas seemed to take longer than usual, and when he did he was accompanied by another man, about half his size, wrinkled and walking with a stick. The elderly man was brought a chair by a crew member and sat in front of the contestants.

“Gentlemen, contestants,” began Lucas Dawn in his dramatic voice, “Today you will face the very last Treasure Island challenge.  Whoever wins the challenge today will receive the coordinates to the hidden chest of gold and thereby win the show!”  Everybody cheered. “Today’s challenge may seem a little UNUSUAL.  Although we are here on this tropical island in the blazing sunshine, back in the UK it is deep midwinter and almost Christmas!  Your challenge is this; you must put together a Christmas scene with things that you find on the island.  Some items which are not naturally found on this island have been hidden and if you find them, you may use them as you wish.  Your judge for this final challenge will be none other than the honourable Mr Balek Midori, the chief of the neighbouring Malakawi Island who celebrates his one hundredth birthday today!”  Mr Midori raised a hand and everybody cheered again.

”Gentlemen,” continued Lucas, followed by a lengthy pause, “You have three hours.  Your time starts…..now!”

Elijah, Marshall and Joshua instantly disappeared off in to the jungle which covered the centre of the island.  Brasco offered an obscenity for the camera and disappeared inside his hut leaving Japp and Ramon alone in the clearing by the fire.

“Well, this is it man,” said Japp, “Good luck.”  They shook hands.

                                **********************************

Creating a Christmas scene on a deserted, tropical island was more difficult than it seemed as would become apparent to the six remaining contestants on the “Treasure Island” show.

What was associated with Christmas?  A Christmas tree?  Turkey?  Presents?  Snow?  None of which were to hand at all.  After much deliberation and unsuccessful searching for the items Lucas had referred to, Japp decided to create his own version of a decorated Christmas tree, tropical island style.  He made the “tree” from palm leaves and decorated it with seaweed, fish bones and shells collected from the beach.  He didn’t really know what to do about presents so wrapped random things in more palm leaves, including his red balloon basketball and a comb one of the female actresses had left behind.

For his effort, Ramon had decided to cook a Christmas feast as best he could with the items left in the store and some oysters he found just off the shore to the North of the island.

Elijah had manage to find one of the hidden items, a Santa suit in which he had dressed himself, making a sack out of his sleeping bag.

Marshall had spent most of his three hours searching, unsuccessfully, for the hidden items and at the last minute had written a Christmas song on the back of a cereal packet.

Peter Brasco did not emerge from his hut.

But when it was time for the judging and the elderly Midori hobbled over to the entries to make the final call, there could obviously only be one winner – Joshua Diamond had somehow found a holy Christmas grail on a deserted island – A snow machine.  As the other contestants sneered inwardly at his display of “Christmas Trees” (palm leaves stuck in the sand), Midori’s eyes lit up as the latter were showered in a dusting of fake snow.  The crowd cheered.  Japp reached down and made a half fake snow/half sand “snowball” which he lobbed jovially at Elijah and the singer returned the gesture.  The game was over and although Japp had failed to win, he didn’t feel sad as he stood under the sunlight, fake snow falling all around him, laughing and joking with a French chef and an Irish singer he had never heard of until three weeks ago.  Perhaps the winning wasn’t what mattered, after all……

                                  **********************************

As the laughter subsided and Brasco emerged, crossly, from his hut, Lucas Dawn addressed the final six contestants of Treasure Island 2014 in front of the cameras.

“Gentlemen, contestants!”  Over the last three weeks you have all been competing to find the hidden chest of gold and win Treasure Island 2014!  The winner will receive the coordinates to the chest and win the competition.  Joshua, stand forward.”  He did. “Joshua, you have won the final challenge and here are your coordinates.” Lucas handed an envelope to Joshua, who was crying.  Everyone started forward to congratulate, comfort – or in Brasco’s case – mock Joshua.

“Wait!”  Commanded Lucas, “When you all entered this competition, you were under the belief that the final prize was the hidden chest of gold containing a generous donation for your chosen charity.  This is true, but the final prize is actually much more than that, and there is a very special guest joining us to tell you more about it…….Gentlemen, I hope you will give a warm welcome to Mr Brad Pitt!”

At this moment, as Joshua stopped crying and began to stare in wide eyed amazement and admiration as the movie star appeared on the set of “Treasure Island”, reality – TV hooked women around the country squealed or shouted out their delight in this shock twist.  Japp Carson took it all in his stride.  He had in fact met Brad a few times in the past at film premieres or A-list parties when he had been an A –lister.  In addition, he was contemplating his future life choices and the option of moving to France to start an Afro-Caribbean/French cookery show with his new friend Ramon Rivier.

“Gentlemen,” began Mr Pitt, “I am here to tell you all – in particular the winner of this show – Joshua Diamond (that’s a great name by the way) – of the grand prize you have actually won.  In addition to the money to give to your chosen charity, you have won a role in a film starring opposite myself set on a desert island, very much like this one.  Filming will start in the summer.  I can’t wait to start working with you!”  If Brad Pitt was a little insincere on this last point, he covered it well, but I suppose that’s the advantage of being a professional actor.

With Joshua now in bits and the other contestants cheering goodbye to the famous actor as he disappeared off to catch his helicopter from the beach, Lucas stepped in to bring a sense of normality to the situation, hearing through his earpiece that “Treasure Island” was trending on Twitter and he needed to wrap this up quickly in time for the Ten O Clock news.

“Okay contestants!  We have just one more thing to do.  Let’s take the coordinates and find that treasure!”

The group headed out from the camp, led by Joshua who of course held the coordinates – it wasn’t actually far, about three hundred metres away.  The cameras followed, filming the remaining six as they spoke elatedly of their experience on the show and what they were looking forward to most when they arrived home (except for Peter Brasco who mainly offered nonsense and profanities).  Japp naturally said he couldn’t wait to play a game of basketball.  Elijah wanted to see his girlfriend and play the guitar whilst Marshall hankered after a glass of champagne.

They were laughing about this as they reached the burial site of the treasure chests but as they did so, their mouths fell open – for it was less of a burial and more of an open grave.  Golden trinkets, jewellery and coins lay on the ground and adorned the nearby vegetation and a dozen pairs of beady eyed stared out at the band of merry contestants as they stopped abruptly.

“What the…..” Started Japp, for he had never seen anything like it – at least two dozen small monkeys congregated in the clearing, gold chains hanging from their slender necks and gold coins (some of them visibly chocolate) clutched in their hairy hands.

Elijah started laughing, then Ramon joined in and Marshall.  Josuha was still crying with happiness, so you couldn’t tell whether he was laughing or not.  The monkeys simply stared at them, unmoving in their gold haven.  Lucas opened and closed his mouth in front of his microphone.

“Well, that’s what the locals think of your Fucking gold chest,” said Brasco, unsympathetically.

“And that’s a wrap,” said Phillip, in to his camera.

3499 words

NOTE: This was the prompt I was required to follow to enter this contest:

                  Setting:
                  A small, deserted, tropical island.

                  Plot:
                  The characters are involved in a reality TV show searching for a hidden chest of gold
                  but a monkey causes major havoc and Brad Pitt shows up unexpectedly.

                  Characters:
                  All the characters are male. There are no females in the story whatsoever. One of the
                  characters is 100 years old and another character is 7 feet tall.

                  Items:
                  The following items must be in your story but don't have to pertain to the plot nor highlighted:
                            - a boomerang, a snowball, a wooden cross, a red balloon, and a decorated Christmas tree.