Rhett Butler

Rhett Butler

Rhett, your false teeth clicking and clattering
The smell is worthy of the finest cheese
Like limburger and sliced SPAM splattering
Darling Rhett get on your knees if you please
Because you're a star, it feels flattering
When you pay my overdue bankcard fees
Oh ugly bastard, you sonofabitch
Make me your dirty li'l SPAM of a witch

Give me a nice ring, a sizable rock
To show me that you wanna get married
Here, take this SPAM, and rub it on your cock
That damn rooster will look rather harried
I'll wipe it with my diabetic sock
And infect you with diseases carried
Oh give me a ring of sparkly shine
Made from the balls of a dead porcupine

Poor porcupine all squished on the blacktop
His quills poking through his maggoty skin
His guts full of gas are soon to go POP
Just like old Rhett, he's as ugly as sin
I hope that he weren't a porcupine cop
If he was, realy great trouble I'm in
Oh give me a home where buffalo roam
And give me SPAM when I crawl my way home