For the love of a horse

I was 8 years old. We got a pony named Dorsey. At first I was scared and crying, but eventually came around and only wanted to ride. We had many horses growing up. A few I remember was our white pony Peanut. I remember one time riding double with my best friend and the saddle slipped under her belly! How we did not get hurt was beyond me! Then there was Hershey. She was a young "barrel" horse. I remember we were at a weekend clinic. It was hot and the horses were lazing around in the arena. I had gotten off her and she started to walk away. I jogged next to her and she kicked. The next few moments were vague. I fell to the ground holding my side, got up and screamed for my mom, then fell. The next moment I awoke in the ambulance. The EMT telling me not to fall asleep, just stay awake. After that I remember waking up in a room. I had some visitors and got some gifts but time went by at a standstill. The horse had ruptured my spleen. As the story is retold by family, I had died in that arena. But by the grace of God, he was not ready for me to leave yet. I regained my strength and started barrel racing again. The following years I had several horses. They would come and go. Throughout high school I traveled the US to IPRA rodeos. While rodeoing in Kansas, I was introduced to Heart. We had our differences but adapted together and became an awesome pair. I got a backup horse, Cody. Cody was a reining horse, super fast and slick. One year at the Longhorn Finals in Tennessee I decided to run Cody. It was not the finals I had hoped for. We did ok, but did not place. Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever run Cody. An early spring filled morning, as the snow was beginning to melt, I let the horses in the pasture. As they galloped over the hill I can remember thinking, what if this is the last time I see them run. When I went out later that evening to feed, I called them but they didn't come, which was odd. I walked over the hill to see something no person wants to see. Cody was standing with one front leg propped up. A bone was sticking through and blood was everywhere. Heart seemed to prop him up under the neck as our other horse stood by. Later it would be confirmed that he slid on some melting snow and broke the bone clean. We put him down and I noticed a change in Heart. We both seemed to mourn. I would go through several other backup horses but none like Cody. It was time for college. I was excited, going to school on a rodeo scholarship. Me and Heart would continue the trail for several more years. Through many trials and tribulations, we seemed to make it work. I was happy. Then one day I got a phone call. A devastating blow that would rock my world. I sold my trailer, my truck, my saddle, my gear, everything. I had to give up Heart. He went back to MN and was later sold. After that, I became depressed. I wouldn't tell anyone of this. I put on my smile and went about my day to day activities. But pictures soon began to show my tired eyes and lack of happiness. I began to lose weight. I moved back to Kansas to finish school after just a semester in Oklahoma. I was hoping to be closer to friends, but they too had moved on to other schools. I was by myself. I would continue to go to rodeo's with my soon to be husband on the weekends (who was living in north Missouri at the time), all while my friends would ask if I would get back into it. Why I had quit. Or even that they would send horses my way to ride. My response was always the same-no thank you. I had no desire to ride. I finished school and began the dreaded employment searching stage. Little did I know, I wouldn't get a job in my hoped for career. The next few years would become a bit of a blur as I jumped from job to job. I was never content. I got married and had a baby girl. It was then that I started to feel joy again. True happiness. The kind of happiness that fills over from the heart. Then one evening I got a phone call, and before he even said anything, I somehow knew. He had gotten Heart back. Filled with mixed emotions, I was unsure how to answer. I said very little. In all the things I had gotten rid of, there was still one piece I kept. It was Hearts bridle. It hung on the wall by my faded belt buckles. The next few weeks would pass quickly as I got ready for him. The day he arrived at our home was peaceful. It wasn't until 3 days later that we would have a connection moment. At sunset I went to visit him. He stood there as I untangled his mane. I felt the connection we once had. For the love of a horse that would teach me so much. To this day I am forever grateful that we are reunited. We have lost several years in between, and may not hit the rodeo trail very hard anymore. But now I have my daughter, a loving husband and my horse back. The love my daughter has for Heart makes my own heart explode with joy. I will continue to cherish the small things in life. The things I once took for granted, like cleaning stalls and smelling fresh shavings, the nickering that lets me know that Heart is excited and ready for feed, or the sound of horseshoes on the pavement. For the love of a horse, a person realizes true love and passion.