Strength

As I stare vividly into my bedroom mirror,
I catch a glimpse at who I was and who I want to be.
Recollecting my thoughts and how things were,
But recognizing why and how I need to be free.

The neglect and disrespect I have encountered,
I was robbed of my humanity and dignity.
Failure, Whore, Dumb- the names I heard
From the ones who lacked their own stability.

Growing up with a narcissistic, dead-beat Dad,
He smokes his stash as he watches the Mets,
Ignoring his little girl as she sits there terribly sad.
Mommie-dearest is no angel either as I fret,


Overtaken by a deranged Schizophrenic disease,
One minute, euphoric and the next in a hateful rage,
As she pulls your hair and yells at you when she pleases.
She is stuck in her demented mind like a lion in a cage.

Teenage years dragged along as I caught in trouble.
Feeling like an outsider, I ran with the wild crowd,
Blazing in the graveyard, drinking red bull,
Escaping from a grim reality in a sea of doubt.

Finding love at sixteen but also facing heartbreak,
The chemistry was captivating as we locked lips,
It felt great, but after the infidelity, I ached.
Our relationship crumbles like a sunken ship.


Hoping he’s “the one” after years together,
But realizing you can never truly know someone.
A kind-heart guy turns into a jealous possessor,
When he degrades and blames you- I’m so done.

Looking back at the “old me” I lived in fear,
Self-destructing in a mix of alcohol and pills,
Clouding my judgment like a murky tear,
Stemming from torment and abuse which kills.

Now in my mid-twenties, I gained much insight.
I refuse to let these cold, empty souls bring me down.
Willpower triumphs over these demons as I fight
To achieve my goals, so I can wear my crown.

My determination to gain my BA degree paid off,
Typing extensive essays and sleepless, study sessions,
Driven and amped to succeed at whatever the cost,
To learn and graduate to the top was my mission.

Sticking around at the same job for seven years,
Showed my loyalty and trust at the company.
Saw many come and go, but I moved up to Manager,
Now ready to pursue my dreams and break free.

To say life is easy and worry-free is a lie,
But I remain hopeful through the struggles,
As I gaze deep into the clear blue sky,
Reminding myself “It’s OK,” to the daily juggles.