Freewriting #1

I wish Keidra would leave me be for once. She is very...what's the word I'm looking for....persistent. "Arhmadia, this is the last time I'm going to try to wake you up so if you miss class, that's on you." She warned. Thank God! I was so close to getting up (since it's so easy to me to stiffly rise up when I am laying on my back) with a wide-eyed stare, grab her by her shoulders and say, "leave me alone, woman!"

Never have I really been this moody before in my life. Maybe it's because of my secrecy. Yes, I'm hiding something. I admit, it's a terrible secret that I've been withholding not only from the world but from myself in the form of denial. It is very controversial and justly fit in the section of the unknown; it was burned at stake and frowned upon because of the fact that 'there is no other God before me' but little do they know-little does Keidra know.

Exactly three minutes after she most kindly took her leave after an unsuccessful attempt to get me out of the bed, I rolled out of bed, took a scented herbal bath with lit incense, and went outdoors to let the wind air dry me. As I stood on the smooth, wooden porch facing the Springs' pine tree forest and admired the recently cut grass I remembered one thing: make sure that I have all of the tools that I need because once i am in the circle there will be no turning back. Simple newbie mistake. There is no breaking the circle so my lack of preparation will not be tolerated. With those words being elevated in my mind, I ran back inside to fetch three blue candles, a lighter, three small crystals, a bowl to put water in, a sage smudge stick, a needle, a bible, and a small piece of parchment paper with forbidden hieroglyphic word written that contain strong sense of taboo.

With planted feet on the earth, I clear my mind and envision a bright white light around my being which provides a sense of protection, a feeling of of pleasantness, and serenity; I, then, face the east, stick my newly made staff into the ground and feel the worse sense of remorse that I've ever felt in my life.