The Man With No Hands

-The Man With No Hands-
by Keaton Foster



Once
There was a man
With no hands
Some called him nubs
Others called him stubs
Some liked to make fun
Others, not so much
The story goes
Or so I’ve been told
That he lost his hands
In a fight with a man
Wielding a dull knife
He stole something
Or maybe it was
That he found something
Either way he was attacked
The man with the blade
Severed his appendages
Right at the wrist
Rather vicious and quick
The pain was immense
The man who did the cutting
Took the man hands
Gathered them up quick
Running off into the woods
He was never seen
Or heard from again
The man with no hands
Came to live
Quite an amazing life
He became very proficient
With his feet
After a few years
He could do with ease
Just about everything
That he had ever done
With his hands
He could work
He could cook
He could dress himself
Drive a car
All be it
Not very far
He could pleasure the ladies
You know what I’m saying
Some called him Bo Jangles
Others called him
Handi-capable
He never let
His lack of appendages
And digits
Get in his way
Anyone who knew him
Was proud to call him friend
The man with no hands
Was doing just fine
But then
Again as the story goes
One day many years
After losing his limbs
He was walking across
A rickety old bridge
He somehow slipped
With nothing to catch
He fell right into the river
A murky madness
Full of hungry creatures
That cared nothing
Of his disabilities
The river
Infested with gators
Connected two swamps
Breeding season
Is a hell of a thing
Alligators
Are quick to decide
If I can’t fuck it
Than for sure I’ll eat it
A big one named Moses
Was first to see him
The man with no hands
Moses had just eaten
Two of his smaller rivals
He was slightly full
He was only in the mood
For a quick snack
The, at this point
To be victim
Could not swim
He could only float
He could only go
Where the river took him
And it took him right to Moses
Moses swam up from below
And with two quick snaps
He had his
Just the right sized snack
Moses severed his legs
And now
That man
The one with no hands
Legs or feet
Would forever become
Known as Bob…


The Man With No Hands
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2014.