There are so many words to say to you
And none of them are nice
And all of them are cruel
Your face is fat and ugly
Your hair is fading straw
Your body small and portly
Your chins now numbering four
Your eyes once fine and shining
Now lined and looking gloomy
Large shopping bags beneath the lids
Your eyeballs red and rheumy
How vicious are the passing years
Your laughter lines have turned to tears
Your lips no longer full and puckered
Let's face it dear, you're proper buggered
Oh what has happened
To that face?
The one I once adored
You look so wretched, grey and haggard
I fear you're now a double-bagger
Your figure best ignored
I wish I had not come here
To gaze upon this sight
So pitiful and sickening
To see your dreadful plight
Where’s the spark?
Where’s the shine?
Where’s the gloss?
It’s all decline
Gone the buff
The fit
The cool
Now you’re just a sad old fool
Next time I’ll do my shop online
No longer have to face
The mirror in the changing room
And try to age with grace.
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