Ladyboy (First Chapter)

LADYBOY



A Novel

By Michael P.J. Duffy





                                                           Page One



East is East & West is West & ne'er the twain shall meet – Rudyard Kipling



CONTENTS



Chapter 1 – Bangkok Blues







                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   2









CHAPTER 1 – BANGKOK BLUES



 















Loose yourself in the Buddha.  Life is a prison.  Death is the only release.  And in the Bardo, the nether realm between the life before and the one supposedly to come, what were you?



Me.

         That was where I began my life, lived it, and would end it.  We all of us are born ipso facto selfish.  Noble altruistic selflessness is artifice, aberration.  Yes, Me.  Mandy Me.  Mandy Lola Thai, that is.  I was a post-op Thai ladyboy.  I'd had the Full Monty, as the Brits'd say.

         I was just gone twenty-one, but I'd had my full op when I was only fourteen.  I'd been having hormone treatment since age twelve.  So I was never a man.  Just a boy who grew into a ladyboy, me, Miss Mandy Thai to you.  'Hey, wasn't that kinda young?' all my friends said.

         'Yeah,' I replied.  For want of a better expression.  What was I supposed to say?  I mean, really …

         Who would want to be a man, anyway?  Good question.  Especially if you can be a ladyboy!

                                                           *

Hey.  My name is Suzi Lee, twenty.  I was a shitty little Thai Chinese street hooker, but a good

shitty little Thai Chinese street hooker who knew how to take shit and dish it out.  One hundred per cent female.  So I wasn't a ladyboy; you might call me a ladygirl, then, but my best – sorta – buddy, Mandy, was.  Mandy Thai, ladyboy.  Ideas way above her station.  'Extraordinaire' was the word she always used.  My last client, this English guy, said to me, 'When you're in a Bangkok bar you know you're not in Leamington Spa.'  No shit.  Then I sucked his dick.

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         'Speciality of the house,' I said to the fuckhead, being equally smartass (or 'droll' as Mandy'd say; she used words like that 'cause she got a college education and I ain't).  Bastard looked like a schoolteacher.  Probably was.

         Suppose Farang Leamington Whatever was some weird-assed place in Britland.  Creep told me he was married.  Like, What-the-fuck, Wow.  But don't I know it.  Such still hankers after far-away thrills like me.  His type, always the worst.  Goddamned hypocrit.  But Mandy always said to me about guys like that What if his wife ever found out?  The classic 'business' trips.  And what, pray, Mandy always went on, could a ladyboy – or ladygirl, let's not forget about me – do for him what his wife could – or would – not?  Some Farangs came for female prostitutes (again, like me), young male prostitutes, and ladyboy prostitutes (mebbie some of the more enterprising pervy ones came for all three).  Yeah.

         But anyway Mandy was eighteen or nineteen months older than me.  Bit like a big sis.  Sometimes.  (At other times, a pain in the ass.)  She'd begun having hormone treatment maybe a couple of years before she was thirteen or so, then had the full op at that tender age or thereabouts.  Kinda young.  So she was never really a man at all, she told me.  Born a boy, first few years as a pre-pube boy then, Bang – a fully fledged ladyboy!  Shucks.  But that was to make her change smoother, she told me, the earlier the better.  Before the testosterone or whatever set in.  Replace it with oestrogen.  Never really a man and never wanted to be.  Or simply never a man at all.  She was always very insistent on that.  So I suppose she just always wanted to be a ladyboy, did Mandy.  Or rather not so much a ladyboy as a transgender woman, she fully believed that she was a woman and

always had been, that she'd been born in the wrong body.  Me, I just had to go along with what she reckoned, not having any means of proving it otherwise. 

         She eventually wanted to travel to the West.  See the world.  And be Famous.  And for that, 

she said she needed money.  Lots of it.  'I don't do things by halves,' she said.  Mandy was money

mad.  Yep, she was one of those who wanted to be Someone.  When I just wanted to be me.  And

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we're all someone, I told her, anyway.  Be Someone?  Me?  Many equated being Someone with having lots of money or needing lots of money to be Someone in the first place.  Neat.  And her big ambition – to be known in the West.  (Incidentally, I had been to the West.  My parents had been killed in the Tsunami when I was a kid.  The UN took PR pity and shuffled off little lost waif me to America for several years, where I learnt American English; and my lack of manners and all the slang and swearwords and Attitude, and how to be a spoilt-brat LA Mean Girl, or 'UN Brat' as I was known.  Then, back to Thailand armed with my brash Yankee style to the means streets when my red-tape UN/US stint was up.  Mandy spoke English too, but British English; as to the why of that, all will presently be revealed.)  Well, maybe a famous Thai lady kickboxer, or muay thai, as we call it, our highly stylised and skilful art of beating the shit out of each other.  My hobby when not being a prostitute, or rather when I was on my break.  If you're a hooker, especially a Thai hooker, being able to take care of yourself comes in useful, especially in a place like downtown Bangkok (or Pattaya, even worse).  I was a first-dan martial arts.  So you don't mess with me, babes.  Kick-ass Suzi!  Oh, and by the way, the Yanks – and I suppose I was partially one now – gave me the name 'Suzi'; my original Thai name was 'Nok'; and my Chinese name 'Anchee'; so I reckon I was better off with 'Suzi' 'cos it sorta suited me.  And I always stuck with my original Chinese surname of  Lee because there were lots of English/American Lees too as well as Chinese ones.  Yeah.  But back to Mandy.  (Who, as far as I know, had always been Mandy, or Mandy Lola.  Thai.)  She wasn't full Thai.  (I was Chinese Thai; that is, of the Chinese ethnic minority of Thailand, so fully assimilated as to be virtually indistinguishable from the ethnic Thais.)  She was Eurasian, with

a Thai mother, now dead, and a Farang (white foreigner), English father, unknown, as it seemed, but presumably still alive.  Who must have been a sex tourist of some sort.  At least to my honest, filthy mind.  Mandy's ma had been no more than fourteen when she'd had Mandy.  It didn't take much to

put two and two together and realise that Mandy's ma must've been a hooker too.  But at the time I

didn't know the full low-down on the Brit side of Mandy's ass.  Mandy herself was always a bit

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cagey about it, but I reckoned that she didn't know the full shit either, but more than me 'cause it was her ass and not mine, but maybe not much more than me.  Oh, and by the way, before I forget, I was sorta trilingual – my first language was American (English), my second, Thai; and my third, a smattering of my ancestral Chinese; Mandy was bilingual, first language, British English, second Thai; I believe she spoke a little French, too; or said she did; whatever; but most of our friends spoke Thai and if any English what Mandy called a little contemptuously 'Pidgin' English, just heavily Thai-accented English with a few Thai words and mannerisms, idioms in the mix, and a haphazard use of that English idiom; or so Mandy told me; whatever.  I was kinda LA-ised rather than Americanised.  But there musta bin some sneaky shit goin' down somewheres.  Hard to make things add up, sometimes.  Even two and two.  Specially where Mandy's ass was concerned.  Oh, and by the way again, in my UN-sponsored US schooldays in LA, I was bored shitless most of the time.  All I ever learned in LA as I say was the slang and the swearwords and the Budweiser and the baseball and the Attitude.  But then again, maybe that was all I needed to learn.

                                                           *

Yes I was a college girl but you always have to pay the price for a good education.  'Smartypants' Mandy Suzi always called me.  She was streetwise, I was bookwise.  So I figured that we might make a good team.  'Bookwise?  Doncha mean Bookworm?' Suzi always liked to jibe.  Bless.  I spoke English with a Received Standard British accent, since my late mother had education on the brain, and I actually got to assume that she wanted me to speak English just like my elusive father;

and so she scrimped and scraped, as I assumed, every penny she had to get me into fee-paying private education, where I was taught British English.  Suzi of course learnt the inferior bastardised American English kind, along with all the slang and swearwords and suchlike barbarisms.

                                                                     *

Sa-wat-dee.  Hello.  Tee-hee.  My name Annabel Pat. 

         Me seventeen or almost.  Um.  Hum.  Pre-op ladyboy.  Speak good English good.  Well,

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almost good.  Not as good as Suzi and most not as good as Mandy.  My friends.  Above me have tiny trim waist with beautiful breasts implanted OK and sweet face and lovely long hair everybody say but down below you can get rest.  Yeah OK I still got cock.  Have tape, tight up out of sight most of time.  So can wear bikini on beach.  But good little hooker (me small, four feet ten, mebbie, so smaller than Suzi an' Mandy - always me smaller than them).  Suzi she teach me.  Suzi an' Mandy good friends but Suzi always laugh at way me speak English, not too good really suppose.  Mandy she say me speak broken English or Pidgin Something English but she never say what that Something.  I always say if me speak Broken English then what broke it and what, me speak English like bird, pigeon … no, Mandy say, Pidgin!  But me not too clever.  But not my fault.  Born like it.  When go school just for little while doctor come round check us all and told me autistic, whatever that, but guess that mean stupid.  But me born like it so not fair.  Suzi always laugh at me 'cause that.  Even though she say me her friend.  Like Mandy, who real clever.  But I look far more pretty everybody say than prettiest real girl.  But me mostly girl anyway and if not know 'bout Down Below people think me ver' ver' pretty real girl.  See?  Anyways one night in Bangkok some drunken rowdy tourist big lout English Farangs, young guys, try to gang-rapes me when I just fifteen.  They thought me real girl.  After all me very pretty and most times it hard know difference until get close up and see  naked.  But me ver' pretty young ladyboy now, and get prettier all time.  Even though bitchy Suzi tol' me that me not quite as pretty as cleverclogs Mandy.  OK.  But anyways me manage to escape from louts.  Run fast.  I try forgive them and no hate.  After all, did not Sweet Lord Buddha say hate bad for Karma?  When me say that to Suzi she say, in that funny Farang Yankee voice she have, 'Yeah yeah Sweet Lord Buddha my sweet ass always say hatred bad for fuckin' Karma or some such shit, Annabels, babes.'                                        

         Me say, 'Lord Buddha full of love.'

         She say, 'Lord Buddha full of shit.'

         Me say, 'Lord Buddha holy.'

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         She say, 'Only thing holy is something with holes in it, fuckhead.'

         Suzi bad girl.

         But I good girl.  Most time.  Only do bad when have to.  Which most of time.

         But Lord Buddha always forgive.

         And everybody say I cute.  Me speak only broken Thai too.  Sound same in Thai.

         Mandy, Suzi and me also have to steal to make end meet.  Mandy and Suzi say I best pickpocket in town 'cause I so small with quick hands.  'Cause born like it.  So steal as well as whore.  Suzi say I good thief and remind her of what she call Rainman.  So she call me Rainwoman and laugh.  I say What you talk about and she say it movie remind her of me.  Still don't know why she laugh so much.  But Mandy, she keep quiet.  Suzi got big mouth she never shut up.

         Now, other than them lout who try rapes me, I jus' love Westerners, Farangs.  Me mally one one fine day hopes.  Him rich be good.  Get white boyfriend with blond hair and blue eyes like Brad Pitt or other one Leonard DeCaprio or David Beckhams (he even more fit), but how he see anything in that freaky girl wife he got with like stick insect and silly frown face I not know.  'Posh like me!' Mandy always joke.  I no understan'.  'But I'm a thousand times more beautiful 'n' smart!'  True. 

         I think about things now hard.  I careful.  Think I have good heart.

         Always beg the good Lord Buddha for forgiveness over bad things I do 'cause have to.  Be whore 'cause have to – Lord Buddha forgive.  Be thief 'cause have to – Lord Buddha forgive.  Tell lie police 'cause have to – Lord Buddha forgive.  Unlike Suzi and Mandy, Suzi with her rough ways

and foul mouth and Mandy with too clever ways and both who not believe in nothing.  But I full of love.  Good Buddhist.  Me good girl.  No like Suzi and Mandy who bad.  They think I thickhead, but me smarter than them in heart.  Suzi could keep her foul mouth and rude ways and Mandy        her selfish head-big ways.  Give me my not-clever but happy heart any day.  I think Suzi and Mandy unhappy really 'cause want too much.  Too much want mean Desire, Buddha always say.  So

unhappy.  Mandy and Suzi call this 'Ambition', specially Mandy.  Strange word.  But I know it just

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fancy word for want too much and Desire bad things.  Call me dumb say I no ambition.  Don't care.  And so I knew OK I wasn't as tough as Suzi or as clever and beautiful as Mandy but hey, I was the one with heart given to me in love by the Lord Buddha, Supreme Master.  Of All Goodness.  Of Love.  And Compassion.  But I was still quite pretty myself, though Mandy she grow into real beauty now.  Oh well, you can't have it all.  Buddha say bad if have all.  Except all of Buddha's Love and Compassion, but only if you want it.

         Anyway, Suzi and me we prostitute 'cause like so many our kind we born poor, but Mandy have funny backround, hard to understan' specially if you bit dumb like me as Suzi always say.  (But even Suzi not know all either.)  Mother poor like ours, but it was said – sometimes by Suzi, but she never really sure – that Mandy's Farang daddy, rich.  So Mandy come from almost fairly well-to-do backround of some sort (specially when compare me and Suzi), who could afford go college to get fancypants education but who had maybe been in trouble and was in some sort of scandal and so had to become the prostitute too worse luck jus' like me and Suzi.  But we expect become the prostitute, not Mandy, she too high up maybe.  But she become thief too, just like me and Suzi.  There will be more about this later, all this rumour stuff and scandal things.

         Oh, by way, before forget – Suzi and Mandy kindly teach me English 'cause so many Farangs spoke it ('cept Frenchees an' Russianees, who come here too, maybe).  Good know what client and customer say, they said.  While when you speak Thai they not know what you say.  Suzi say you can say them in Thai Fuck off you fat ugly Farang foreign smelly bastard pig want only

your money and when they say what you say you say that they nice to you and you like them.  And they think you say that and not what you really say.  Suzi always she laugh at that.  Even though I know not nice.  And Suzi say sometime pretend no understand English or speak.          Suzi Sneaky.  Not many Farang know Thai.  'Ar Farang,' she say, meaning not nice but say to them mean nice.  'Yet mair, yet pet,' she say them, say she mean nice but she say motherfucker, duckfucker.  In Thai.          

         So, Mandy she come down in world.  She no like that.  So she want to get back up again,

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bad.  As for me an' Suzi, since we come from down didn't bother us like it did Mandy, which was

why she so badly want get back up to top or up to the up and then go even higher up to very top then go even higher up than that.  Further and further up always Mandy she say.  H'm …Yeah go up top or back up there where she born but wasn't really but she say she shoulda  bin so everything wrong and not fair.  H'm … Suzi – as well as say me like other movie Forrest Gump – say Mandy think she Cinderella.  I say who Cinderella – as well as Forrest Gump – and Suzi say I dumb so that why.  Now, Suzi she work street an' bar in downtown ol' Bangkok while me and Mandy – me think in Thai now; makes  sound a bit better, OK?  Though I always stutter a bit and can't speak that straight 'cause autistic Whatever That – worked at the clubs uptown, which specialised in ladyboy cabaret – or 'down-market cabaret' as Mandy called it whatever she mean by that – up front  for what Mandy call big word 'titillation' and then backroom on back for, as Mandy put it, 'further elaboration'.  Or 'uber-Tease and Some'.  She had way with words, did Mands.  All that education – 'wasted here' she say – and that.  But she was still pretty new to game, compare me and Suzi – 'cause she start only in her late teens.  Me and Suzi – been doing it since early teens for Suzi, twelve for me.  We what Suzi call 'veterans'.  Ha.

         Our cabaret – 'if you could call it that' Mandy say – place was what Mandy call 'low-rent dump' called Bangkok Lil's.  Yeah.  There, Mandy, being so clever – dreamt up her own act – 'ad-lib' she call it – ah, what else she say? - 'with accessorisation' – told you she have way with big words – with her dressed up as what she call 'a Victorian Dutch-doll dollyanna' complete with pink

bonnet, lace, ribbons, frilly white knickers, check mini-micro fluffy wide dress 'miniaturised crinoline' she call it, shin-length frill socks, pink strapped platforms; with accessorised lollypop and teddybear to complete act for, she say, 'the former sucked salaciously, the latter held lasciviously' –

tell you again she have way with big word – between her very shapely legs.  She had figure lot of real girls – though she get angry if you say real girls to her – would die for.  'Some “real girls” -

ugly!'she say every now and then.  She drove the mostly Farang men in the audience wild, and so

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become star attraction.  'I can cavort and contort most athletically onstage.  I'm too good for this place,' say Mandy.  She always say things like that.  So she figure on better.  She reckon she shoulda  bin at legit cabaret and not  low-class one that was what she call 'thinly disguised bordello'.  Mandy never satisfied.  So she ask Boss for payrise.

         Big Mistake.

         Mandy, being half-Farang, could course speak good English, what she call British English.  'The refinement of which I learnt at college.  The rudiments Mother taught me,' she told an admiring me.  Very much admire Mandy she so clever.  Suzi, course, since she spend some time in 'Merica with UN (whoever them), so she also speak good English, though that other sort, 'Merican English she just sometimes call 'Merican.  And course yes they both teach me to speak little English, though not as good them course.  And yes Mandy say I spoke only basic English – or broken or pigeon or pidgin thing English – but, Suzi say, with my heavy Thai accent and that that was blessing in disguise so not worry 'cause Farangs think my accent cute.  But I got feeling that it make me sound dumb.  To them.  So I not know if I pleased by this or not.  But Mandy say I should be proud 'cause far, far more Thais could speak English than English could speak Thai so there.  'Sides, Mandy also say, a lot of our tourist industry rely on this.  So good.  So Mandy say, who knew lot of things about things like this.  Being half Farang or English, suppose.  I say how come Farangs got so much power and us Thais not and she say something funny me not understand, 'Because they industrialised first, blockhead.'  I ask her if any Thais ever went on holiday to Farangland or

England or Britland or whatever call.  She give me a bit of funny look and told me No.  I say why.  She say 'cause it cold.  And 'cause – and I figured this out for myself 'cause I not that dumb – most Thais couldn't afford go there anyway.  Specially if cold.

         Yeps, Mandy could speak better English than our boss, Mr Simmonds, an Australian.  Who only spoke Strine, a very low form of English, Mandy say.

         And so she ask him for that payrise.

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         He very rude and told her Fuck Off, Sheila.  He always call lot of us 'Sheila' even though none of us call that.  Mandy say that 'cause we Thais all look same to them.  She threaten leave.  Mr Simmonds (whose first name actually Steve but we always calls him 'Bruce' 'cos all Australian mens to us Thais seemed to be call 'Bruce' if all Thai womens and ladyboys were 'Sheila' to thems, OKs?), give very mean looks Mandy. 

         I at her side.  I said, 'Down at Pattaya they pay us better.'  In my Broken or Smashed English.

         'Then fuck off there then,' he say rude.

         So did.

         'Fuck you,' spat Mandy, who rare swear.

         'Fuck you too,' Bruce – if that him name if not Steve maybe – came back.

         'You not nice,' I say.

         'You, little Sheila, you fuckin' peasant, shutthefuckup.  Who asked your opinion.  Just get out, and take the Breed with ya.  Here's your back pay.  Fuckin' slopes.'  He threw some money at us.

         It all happen so quick.  'Racist bastard,' Mandy she mutter on way out.  After we leaves Mandy phone Suzi and told her everything and said for her to join us in Pattaya at a meeting place which she arrange – some place near the beachfront – and that we get new flat there.

         The Ozzman not want troublemaker like Mandy at club.  If he give Mandy payrise, the other girls – or ladyboys – want one too.  More trouble than she worth, see.  Aha.

         And think me Mandy no like call 'Breed'. 

         So we pack our bag and leaves club for good.

         'Place was only a shithole anyway,' said Mandy, who ver' rare swear.  She cross.  Very.

Swear 'cause that.

                                                                     *

Suzi here.  Got a call from Mandy and Annabel, telling me to meet them in Pattaya.  That they'd just

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got fired and kicked out from the shithole crappy club they were at.  Mandy was real pissed off at being called a 'breed' by the Oz Bruce that owned the said shithole.  Met bastards like that myself.  Bin called Dink Slope Gook  and godknowswhat else besides in my time as well as cheap whore slut bitch hoe and all the rest.  You get used to it.  Have to.  But I said Don't worry honey.  So, I just had one or two things to wrap up here in Bangkok than I'd join them in Pattaya.

                                                                     *

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhh again, Annabels.  I thought, H'm … all right fancy Brad Pitt or Leonard DeCaprio but mebbie David Beckhams (plus advertised unnerpants) 'cause Suzi already fancy him plus advertised unnerpants so if she does I no fancy no more maybe so I got to fancy a new dream guy gorg handsome lotsamoney famous in world movie TeeVee pop song so course what was I thinking the most gorg guy in the world … Justin Timberlake?  Nah.  Him too old.  I dream – thinking in Broken English now again so what – mally Justin Bieber one fine day lots of kids if me could have but in dreams me have 'cause in dreams ladyboy can yeah lots of kids mebbie six or seven … yeah …  But who Mandy fancy?  King of Ringland sorry England mebbie or some very dead rock star 'cause she say she rock chic or something … mebbie she fancy that John Lennard one long time him dead I think.  Or that other dead one with mad look Jim Morrison.  Oh, this was always me, little Annabel, dreaming … dreaming.  Can dream if want to.  Not against law.  'Dream on, Annabel, dream on,' Mandy she always say to me.  Well I say Why not?

         So.  We leave Bangkok.  Good riddance, Mandy say.  I say What us?  No she say Idiot to

Bangkok.  I say Oh.  See Suzi later she catch up.

         So, me and Mandy took off to Pattaya, one hundred mile down coast.  We get fast coach.  Mand say, 'We relocate, Annabel.  Me, you, Suzi too.'  I say OK.

         And so when we get Pattaya we go up to beachfront by some big hotel where Mandy say she arrange meet Suzi so we could team up with our old buddy ladygirl Suzi goodtime gal yessiree. 

Now if wondering Suzi sometimes she pretend be post-op ladyboy (like Mandy) 'cause of being so

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hard tell difference unless ver' ver' clever and maybe doctor or sometimes not even that with me as long as cover up in right places yeah.  Unless hands and feet too big or shoulders too broad and whatever.  (And sometimes, Mandy say, wear too much makeup and act too much like girl and go up to Farangs too quick.  'Overfeminisation' she say.  She even say Suzi overfeminise too much sometime but that 'cause Mandy think Suzi born to be the prostitute.  Think me Mandy look down on Suzi sometimes.  But Suzi know this so Suzi not like Mandy sometimes too much an' call her stuck up snob with ass in air and herself up.)  Yehs, sometimes Suzi very naughty and pose as ladyboy since ladyboy all rage yessir which mean she really girl or ladygirl posing as or pretend post-op ladyboy when not really so she ladygirl – which she sometimes say might as well be another name for prostitute – undercover like spy or cop or such like on TV or in movie.  She say and laff that she shoulda bin spy for CIA or something for 'Merica since she reckon she almost 'Merican anyways 'cause live there some time with UN OK in US OK.  If you see what I means.  Ladyboy/ladygirl thing what she call her speciality.  To fool Farang and cater for certain type Farang gentlemens who like that sort thing, see.  She call them dead pervy.  'The more romantic sort,' Mandy say more polite think me.  But they both laugh.  Yes, Suzi Nok Anchee Lee (her full name she tell me) ambitious to be big famous Thai kickboxer one big fine day.  She say she beat anybody's ass.  She like hit people.  Suzi dead mean think me.  Me frighten of her sometime.  She work out regular at gym.  She work out hard.  Keep healthy and fit too lots.  'I jus' wanna kick some ass!' she say.  'Her cretinous motto,' Mandy say.  Suzi also known by her

nickname – which she love – 'Suzi the Floozy'.  She also love her other nickname even more 'Kickass Suzi'.  And even more other one – 'Poolhall Suzi' 'cause she real good at pool playing easy beat – for bet – stupid boys specially Farangs she that good and take them bets too and win lots of

money that way when she play.  And boy could she kick some ass.  She could do karate and kung fu and jujitsu and whatever martial arts just like Bruce Lee long time dead her hero.  One mean babe,

Suzi.  'Watch out boys,' she always say, 'all you Farang pussies and wimps and punkasses and

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cocksuckers and motherfuckers who think you're Bruce Willis or Sly Stallone or Arnie Terminator, you don't mess with the Kickass Floozy!  Poolhall Suzi's back in town!  Woozy!'  (But Mandy she just call Suzi strange big words – 'Just a common-or-garden psychopath with identity problem issues.')  Yeah.

         Me and Mandy, ladyboy.  Suzi tomboy.  Funny.  And me specially – girlie-girl.  Suzi say I soppy as hell.  But Suzi wanna be tough. 

         So, Pattaya here we come and so we got there our new home.  Pattaya here we come and Pattaya here we go and get there quick OK.  To meet Suzi again.  And have more fun.  'We've migrated, a form of urban transhumance,' Mandy she say.  H'm, she sometimes spoil it by using too many big word, me say and Suzi too.

         But we always have fun.  Stealing what we wanted, thieving what we needed, wherever, whenever.  We had great old time of it.  (Mandy say that 'cause we young.)  And course, me best little thief.  Ace pickpocket.  Me good 'cause no one ever suspect 'cause me look so sweet and innocent and young and pretty and cute.  'Suitably and positively angelic,' Mandy say in her funny way.  Tee-hee!  And me always forgiven by Lord Buddha any badness come what may OK.  Me specially OK 'cause I always forgiven badness for be thief and hooker by Lord Buddha 'cause I ask for it.  For forgiveness.  So me good.  Or get good or get goodness back after for be forgiven by Buddha.  Or pray forgiveness Lord Buddha so get forgiveness.  Not so Suzi and Mandy, who not believe, so remain bad girls always.  But they not care.  Devils get them in end if not watch out.

         But one more thing – hard to tell if ladyboy if ladyboy born with nice trim feminine bod'

like me and Mandy anyways.  So born to be ladyboy.  More like girl than girl.  And some girl fat and ugly.  I pretty.  Everybody say.  Pretty.  Never fat.  And Mandy very never fat or ugly – always beautiful.  Never fat, never plain.  Beauty pick ladyboy.  Ladyboy pick beauty.  Yes.

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Mandy back again.  If only to save you from the illiterate vulgar ramblings of Suzi and the

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incoherent inane meanderings of Annabel.  Don't know why I put up with them sometimes.  But this I must say:  I was the, ahem, somewhat self-appointed leader of our little mini-gang, our trio; that is me, Mandy, Suzi, and Annabel.  We might – or I might – consider a new member later, but no more than that.  If you are in a gang of our sort (basic whoring and fairly petty thievery), always wise to stick at no more than three or four, see.  And I had named us the Moths.  The Moths.  So we were the Ladymoths, or me and Annabel the ladyboymoths, and Suzi the ladymoth (or ladymouth).  And our motto was 'We are the Music On The Hill!' - geddit?  Hence, Moths.  An ingenious concoction from yours truly.  Yes, we were like Moths to the candleflame.  Because on the mean streets of Bangkok and Pattaya, whoring and thieving as we did, that was what it was like.  Dangerous if you fluttered too close, but we could neither stray too far from the flame that was survival in our trade.  Live fast and hard, but don't push, and get too close.  Be careful.  But be free.  Be ladyboy/ladygirl.  Make the sleaze serve you, and not you the sleaze.  Birdbrain Annabel sometimes said that ladyboys like me gave ladyboys a bad name.  No way!  Ladyboys, I always tried to explain to nitwit Annabel, had a bad name anyway.  If you were a ladyboy, you were always guilty until proved innocent, and nobody ever proved a ladyboy innocent because ladyboys had to be always guilty from the start.  So no apologies.  So, our miniature unholy trinity thus:  Mandy (me), the brains, Suzi the muscle, and Annabel the cuteness.  Hello Pattaya.

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