Stay or Go

I could not have gone earlier. This is the day the housekeeper comes, and she brought her daughter to help her clean today. They both have reason to keep an eye on the German Shepherd. She's not used to loud voices or people moving around her house. It's just that she protects her Mommy by nipping at butts. The housekeeper's daughter has only been in my house once before. Anyhow, my dog kept her in sight, It wouldn't have been right to leave them alone with the dog. Besides, there is no urgency to the situation. It's just a daughter's guilt.

My Mom is 91 and a half years old. She goes from chair to bed to chair, but not under her own steam anymore. There are groceries in her house. Mattie would not have left if the new caretaker didn't understand the medications and dosing requirements. When I talked to Mom on the phone I could tell she just woke up. I think she may have dozed during our conversation. But she said,"Tracey is won--der--fulll...." Then she didn't respond to my next two questions.

I've seen her in this situation before, with an Ativan keeping her very sleepy. I've experienced that symptom myself with my own meds. She either needs to shake it off and wake up, or give it up and go back to sleep. I always sleep it off if I can.

Her new caretaker started this morning. My mother selected the applicant she wanted. Then she changed her mind. I'm not even sure of this woman's qualifications to be a caretaker. But I'm TRYING to honor my mother's independence, and her right to plot her own path of destiny.

After the housekeepers left, I chilled to some Looney Toons cartoons. I can't catch myself up emotionally. I am bipolar. I take my meds, but I can still tell when my mental stability isn't stable.

Last night I couldn't sleep for worrying about my own pain medication. I have a bad lower back, and a bad neck. It gets better,then it gets bad again. The pharmacy charged me $840 for what I thought (because I requested) was one one of medication--one damn expensive month of medication. I questioned then, but there was a new employee who was relaying messages to others that she didn't understand herself. Last night, before I went to bed, I realized I paid for eight patches, but only received four. All the labl info indicates they gave me eight patches, or two boxes, but I only got one.

This is a pain med. This is an opioid narcotic. This is a horrible kind of mistake for a pharmacy to make. An employee may have gotten my other box from under the counter for all I know. I expect there was a new employee involved, and she made a mistake and didn't follow through. Doctors don't just give away pain pill prescriptions. The government monitors every kind of business that touches controlled substances, like my pain pills and patches.

I'm no spring chicken myself. I'll turn 60 at the end of this year. I've earned almost all of my ailments Bipolar is just ruling my life because it's in my genes, my family heritage. However, I'm with my second, or fifth pain doctor. I keep trying to find someone who can control my pain without breaking the bank.
y second, or fifth, paindoctor.