It's
getting bad again. The dreams and thoughts are consuming me like they
never have before. It's like every time I step out of my bedroom I
am free of my internal dialogue with myself and can concentrate on
other things. Being stuck in the room gives too much freedom to those
specific thoughts that I want to keep locked away in a cage with
padded walls so they can only stay there. Never again would they
permeate my thoughts and bypass all forces of rejection before
spilling out of my mouth in utter anger and confusion. The pieces of
my life that can't come true, that I would be ridiculed for just
for believing even a sliver of the day dreams could become reality.
Every
piece is started with "Once upon a time. . ." as if that makes
the piece seem older and more magical. Nothing changes the way the
story is except the words. The words are the livelihood of them all.
Creating a new world, an alternate universe for all who dream of the
drastically impossible. The stars in the sky are each dream a writer
has ever had come to life in a certain way. All the terrors have
dissolved within themselves as the writer advances in their draft.
Once
upon a time the dream came true. That one dream that lit a fire in
the writer's heart and carried them through the sky on a winged
beast of fairy tale into the depths of the one novel that could bring
a tear to their eye. It came and it went that dream, they wake only
to find that it was nothing more than their subconscious playing a
cruel trick on them so they could have something to write about in
the journals they never share with anyone. The books eventually
clutter the homes they move into when they're aspirations of being
professional writers are killed by the bloody hands of their peers
who have brought them down time and time again. Forced into jobs they
wouldn't wish on their worst enemy they grab hold of their
subconscious and slip away together into the land where the only
thing they must deal with is the limitations their mind might have on
their imagination.
Walk
along the path of redemption and hope for the best out of a
detrimental situation. Life can become so much more than the people
of this time give it credit for. It is more than a party, more than a
one day at a time trip, more than something one must go through
before death greets them at their door step with an instruction guide
of how to accept their situation. Life is and always will be the
greatest gift we are given but it is important to live in and out of
each moment as the years go. Sitting on the stoop of the past while
waiting for the future to open its' door is a waste of time when
demanding entry is so much easier and less time consuming.
Give
the past the acknowledgements it deserves but never let it smother
you with its memories of the foolish times and hurtful words. What is
done is done and cannot be repeated several times over. Accept things
as they are and lose all rights the world has given to its
inhabitants. To make a bad situation better think as if it is already
at its best and determine what lengths are acceptable to get to that
higher place that will put all qualms at ease. Everything can be easy
and simple to deal with if they are taken at steps and half steps and
small steps of time.
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