Diamond Dog

"Am I coming in clear?" I asked through my vocal translator imbedded in the collar around my furry neck.

"Yes. That's the third time you've asked me that." My partner hissed through the plug in my ear. "Stop messing around and focus."

"Sorry. It's just so weird!"

"Get used to it. We don't have time for this."

"Okay, okay." I shook my head, my ears flopping back and forth, whacking my cheeks. This was so weird!

"Take a left at the next turn and you should be in the main ballroom, when you get there, make sure you remember to act the part."

"Yeah I know."

How could I forget? Wasn't like I got transformed into a dog every day. Most new agents get to go undercover as normal humans... But I get the short end of the stick. Infiltrate the New Planetary Nuclear Summit pre-celebration banquet for Earth and the Five Colonies, as a dog.

My partner, snug and safe in a van marked 'Larry's Dry Cleaners' was parked on Dunantstraat street in the center of The Hague, thousands of miles away on earth, "Hurry. You need to get the bug in place before Dr. Arnesen's speech."

I crept down the hallway, everything a greyish brown to my eyes. They were not kidding when they said dogs were color blind. The banquet was a black tie affair; the main attraction for every influential billionaire, corporate king and political tyrant across the galaxy. My mission was simple. Get past security, implant the bug and get out.

"Ok you are about to enter the main hallway. Don't draw attention to yourself." My partner crooned. "I know this is a lot for your first mission but I know you can do it."

The hallway ended in an elegant archway and expanded into a room the size of a football stadium. Well, maybe it wasn't that big, hey when you are four feet tall everything looks big.

"Do you still have the bug?"

I rolled my obscenely long tongue around my mouth, hitting sharp canines and jagged premolars till I found the sharp little object wedged between my lower back molars. "Yeah."

"You need to get to the main display table. According to our sources Dr. Arnesen paid to have a lunar landscape made, constructed of diamonds. Just drop the diamond shaped bug right onto the table and you are set."

"What kind of rich jerk uses diamonds as party decorations?" I ask.

"The kind that we are investigating for intergalactic robbery and fraud; the kind that possibly murdered Ambassador Paulson. Look, just concentrate on doing your job." He snapped.

The ballroom floor was made of a slick surface which my four legs couldn't seem to coordinate on. Thick black pillars and giant bellowing clouds of fabric surrounded me as I struggled to keep my composure in a forest of human legs. Everything felt wrong and my stomach was doing flip flops against my saggy gut. Where was the darn table?

"Look! Samson has come to join us!" A female voice purred above me. I wobbled and trembled under my intolerant limbs trying to not cower and peered up into the face of a tall, fat woman. "This is the creature I was telling you about; pure breed, incredibly intelligent. We had that famous dog trainer from the Vid come and teach him a few tricks! Watch I will show you!"

The large human female hovered above me and tussled the fur on my head. "I've been spotted by Lady Blathe." I whispered to my partner.

"Just act casual. Act... dog."

"Sit." Lade Blathe commanded.

I sat.

"Beg."

I begged.

"Shake."

I shook.

"Isn't he marvelous!?" Lady Blathe asked the gathering crowd. "He has been such a delight. Dr. Arnesen recommended him to help my election stress. All that campaigning across the colonies was going to be the death of me. This lovely bundle of cuteness saved my life!" She bent down to scoop me up. I knew in that moment I had to act or I'd be trapped between two pudgy arms for the rest of the party.

I snapped at her fingers.

Lady Blathe gasped and pulled her hand back in shock as I began to scramble away, the room was huge and I couldn't remember which way I had come in from. "To your left!" I heard my partner say.

People were murmuring and I could hear a frantic Lady Blathe accusing me of having rabies. How dare she! As darted away I plowed into the legs of a waiter; delicately made sushi cubes wrapped in tofu rained down on my head.

"Don't stop now! It's just ahead!"

Someone tried to grab my collar but I dodged just in time and tumbled between a set of high heel shoes. My front legs were doing different things than my back legs and I must have looked like a cartoon dog with roller skates on.

"Get to the other side of the room, the table is the main display, you can't miss it."

I managed to begin moving, my heart pounding in my chest. Giant hands kept reaching for me from the sky. I ducked, tripped and fumbled my way till I saw it: a long table along the wall with a white table cloth dripping off the side, and on top, pure glitter.

"I see it!" I said more to myself than my partner.

"Samson come here right now you nasty beast!" I heard Lady Blathe call.

There wasn't much time. This was what I had been training for, I had to succeed. Taking a lolling breath I darted between more legs and launched, flying toward the table, ears flapping behind my head like furry wind socks. My front paws caught the edge and dug in. I half gagged, half coughed, pitching the fake diamond bug out of my mouth. I watched it sparkle and shine as it arched through the air and land in a sea of bright shimmering stones.

(word count: 1000)