The First Born Rule

The Farmers Daughter

The fall colors came bursting through the open window and danced across the walls of the tattered farmhouse bedroom as the sun slowly crept over the horizon. The October day posed to be a lovely one. Fall had finally arrived in the hills of Montana and the scenery was something of a dream. A young girl who no longer dreamt of such beauty was yanked from a light sleep full of terrors. Sweat beaded on her forehead as her eyes adjusted to the sunlight. If the day were an ordinary day, she would have already climbed out of bed and began the chores around the farm. But the day was no ordinary day for Lena Jones. Instead, it was a most feared day. For, it was her tenth birthday.

So, instead of rising and preparing for the morning, she lay in bed a little longer than usual with hope of prolonging the dreadful hours ahead. Would the recruiters be arriving at her doorstep any moment now? Or was it possible she fell beneath their grasp? Most likely not. Lena knew she was living a lie thinking such fantasies. No one got a free card from the recruiting. They would come knocking at the door soon enough.

The smells of fall filled the bedroom from the cracked window. The weather outside was chilly, but the wind helped soothe Lena to sleep at night, so she chose to leave it open until the snow began to fall each winter. After watching the reds, oranges and yellows blaze on her walls in unison for a few minutes, she finally sat up and attempted to get the day started.

Getting out of bed hurt from the lack of sleep the previous night. Her head was pounding alongside constant waves of dizziness, but the day was inevitable. Things still had to be prepared. Lena emerged from underneath the blankets, as naked as the day she was born. Her favorite way to sleep and had been since she was a small child. Her bare feet glided across the drafty floorboards. She headed to the closet and grabbed some underclothes, her favorite flannel shirt and overhauls. The same clothes Lena had worn for years and were no more than rags, but she was too attached to part with them. They reminded her of a time when life was less worrisome. Not to mention, hard times were upon her family. New clothes were the last of their worries.

As she buttoned the clasps on the overalls, Lena drowsily walked toward the window to see what the morning held. The sun was completely up and already casting shadows across the valley. From the window, not much could be seen except rolling hills and the abundance of trees that covered the scenery. Chimney smoke from other homes rose above the tree line in the distance. There were a few small towns within walking distance from the farmhouse, but for the most part, Lena’s family lived in seclusion. The nearest city was over twenty miles away and she had only been once as a small girl. Her father made it known the cities were filled with nothing more than filth and corruption and young girls had no place there. During harvest, he would travel to the city in the family’s’ run-down farm truck on Sundays to sell the crops. Lena’s father must have been right about the city. When she was eight years old, he was murdered by a gang of school aged children on his weekly run. The children took what little cash they found on him and enough food to feed a large family for a few weeks. When a person knows hunger, they’ll do whatever is necessary to fill that empty feeling in their stomach. Even if it meant taking another’s life. They must have been really hungry, at least that’s what Lena tells herself.

Following her father’s death, she and her mother began making trips to the surrounding small towns to sell produce, eggs, and milk to the locals. Not much of a profits made, but it’s enough to keep the farm up and running.

After daydreaming a bit, she finally turned and headed downstairs toward the kitchen. Her mother was already awake and cooking Lena’s favorite meal for breakfast; potatoes and eggs. Her stomach started to growl as the smells filled her nose. Finishing dinner the night before was unbearable. Everyone was on edge and the food seemed impossible to keep down. She left the table hungry and nerve stricken before heading to bed.

As she came to the bottom of the stairs, Lena slowly peered around the corner into the kitchen to prepare for what her mother’s mood would be. As expected, she was a wreck. Her hand was shaking uncontrollably while stirring a pan full of eggs. A half empty jug of moonshine was within an arm’s reach, a reoccurring theme since Lena’s father’s death. Her mother frequently came home with a fresh jug after weekly visits to one of the towns across the river. There’s a man there who always trades potatoes for a fresh jug.

Good morning, mom,” Lena stated quietly, trying not to startle her already tense mother. She hated to see her mother drink, but the alcohol helped ease the pain, so Lena never pressed the issue. Her mother forced a half smile in return at her daughter’s arrival. A smile that attempted to cover the shame buried underneath. It was then that Lena noticed the tears that flooded her eyes. The swelling and puffiness was a sign the tears hadn’t stopped since dinner the night before.

Lena made her way toward the stove and wrapped her arms around her mother’s waist for comfort. Not only were her arms shaking, but her entire body. The tears fell into the pan of eggs. She wished there was some way to comfort the pain, but nothing would work. After a minute or so, her mother pulled away from the embrace. Sympathy was never her strongest suit. Even more so since her husband was murdered. She became distant from everything, including her feelings.

Lena went to the cupboard for plates and glasses and began to set the table for breakfast.

“There is still the possibility that I was overlooked.” She began while placing the dishes around the table. “We live miles from the nearest city which is where the majority of the recruiting is done. Wouldn’t they send a letter to those affected by the rule? Some sort of preparation notice. We haven’t received anything. Who knows, maybe…”

“Don’t pretend everything is going to be alright, Lena. You and I both know you are just deceiving yourself with those foolish lies. I failed you. I have admitted it, why can’t you? I had one responsibility and I was unsuccessful. One responsibility! I promised him that I would keep you safe. I promised him that I would never let them have you and I failed.”

“But it was out of our control. You know that and so do I. You think I blame you for this? Do you think father would blame you for what happened? No,” Lena replied, although she knew no words could console her mother. The sobs only grew louder. She was losing it. This was a repeat of the scene the prior night at the dinner table. Only Lena feared this eruption may be worse. In her outburst, her mother slammed a hand onto the countertop and was holding it in pain. Lena tried to get a look, but she pulled away in rejection and went back to stirring the eggs as if nothing happened. But not before little Jimmy began to wail from upstairs. Without as much as a flinch, her mother kept cooking breakfast.

Does she not hear him, Lena thought. The midwife, who delivered Jimmy and came around for check-ups every so often, suggested her mother could potentially have post-partum depression. Apparently it was a fairly common ailment in mothers giving birth. Lena supposed her father’s death contributed to her mother’s state as well. She hoped it would pass with time. It had been four months since Jimmy was born and things seemed to be getting worse by the day.

After realizing her mother was oblivious to the crying baby with no intentions of getting him out of bed, Lena headed back up the stairs towards the nursery.
Jimmy was an ugly, wrinkled thing when first born. The midwife let her assist with the delivery and tend to her mother’s wounds for the weeks after. She remembered how awfully funny he had looked those first few days. He had since grown into the most beautiful baby she had ever laid eyes upon. He had their mother’s big blue eyes and blonde hair, whereas Lena had red-brown hair and green eyes. Her mother used to say she got her looks from her father. It must have been true; Lena looked nothing like her mother.

When she arrived to Jimmy’s crib, the poor fellow had soaked through his diaper onto the bedding. Although disappointing, Lena could not help but wonder when the last time he had a diaper change was. She knew her mother got diverted from reality from time to time given everything she had endured, but more was expected when it came to the welfare of Jimmy. He was only a baby, after all.

She pulled him from the crib, removed his bed clothes and took him into the bathroom for a quick rinse. The baby had not stopped crying since he woke up. Lena noticed a large rash on his bottom from the wet diaper rubbing against his skin. Another strike against her mother, but Lena would handle it without complaint, as she always did. Especially today, her poor mother was in complete chaos.

After rinsing the baby in the tub, Lena put a coat of ointment on his rash to soothe the pain and covered it with a fresh cloth diaper. She bundled him in layers of warm clothes and strapped him into the homemade wrap she made as a gift for her mother. Jimmy finally began to calm down with a fresh change of clothes, but continued to whimper like a small puppy. Lena thought it adorable when he made those noises and gave his cheeks a squeeze.

When she returned downstairs, her mother had finished cooking and was placing the food on the table. She was finally able to sit down for a hearty meal. As soon as Jimmy saw their mother though, he was screaming in her ear again and kicking his little legs in every direction. Lena tried to pass the baby to her mother, but she waved him away.

“I think he is hungry. When was the last time you fed him?” She asked her mother who continued to go about setting the table. Lena knew she was blatantly ignoring answering the question, nonetheless, she persisted into getting a reply. “Hello, mom can you hear me?”

“I fed him last night. Are you accusing me of trying to starve him or something? He’s a baby. They cry. Just let me eat for God’s sake. I handle him afterwards.”

Lena nodded trying to avoid any confrontation and began to stack her plate with eggs, potatoes and homemade biscuits. Of all her mother’s flaws, cooking was definitely not one of them. Trying to eat posed quite the difficult task. Jimmy was kicking and screaming louder and louder with each passing minute. “Look, he needs food. He isn’t going to stop screaming until you feed him.”

“My breasts are sore, just go fetch him some goat’s milk for now. I am in no mood to deal with the incessant screaming. Plus, I have been drinking all morning.”

“That’s never stopped you before.” Lena stated in barely more than a whisper, but her mother overheard. The comment was too much, Lena knew before the words had escaped her mouth. Her mother slowly got to her feet and grabbed the bottle of liquor from beside the stove. So much for enjoying breakfast as a family.

Before she departed from the kitchen, her mother turned to take a stab at getting the last word, “The little whelp has teeth. Maybe get him a wet nurse if you really want to help! Just let me be.” As predicted, tears were flowing again. She proceeded to storm up the stairs to her bedroom with a slam of the door.

Lena left the table with a plate of barely touched food and grabbed a bottle from the cupboard. She and Jimmy headed out the door toward the barn; all the while the baby continued to screech. The goat was asleep when she entered the barn and Lena had to wrestle her awake. “Get up ole girl,” she nudged. “I need some milk for Jimmy. Mom is in a bad mood this morning.” The goat gave a grunt at first, but eventually got to her feet. Her teats were swollen and Lena had to massage them for a while to relieve her. Most mornings, the goat would have already been milked before dawn, but the daily routine was a little astray.

Lena filled the bottle with warm milk and rubbed the goats head in appreciation before taking off towards the wooden tree swing. Which happened to be her favorite spot on the farm. It was right in the middle of the flower gardens she helped her mother plant the past summer. The flowers were still alive, but beginning to droop from the fall weather. Cold dew from the morning was dripping from the leaves onto the frosted ground below. She settled into the swing and began to feed the baby. He started to suck at the bottle greedily almost choking himself in the process. “Easy, it’s not going anywhere,” Lena told him as though he could understand. “Mother loves you, I promise that. But things are difficult right now. She is having trouble dealing with it all.” Lena was rubbing the soft tuft of blonde hair on the baby’s head while rocking the swing. In return, Jimmy began to play with her hair, wrapping the long, wavy strands around his tiny fingers and smiling playfully. It was a moment she never wanted to forget. Given the awful circumstances the day brought, Lena felt peaceful at that moment.

Jimmy was a gentle baby and thought Lena to be his mother at times. She was the one who cared for him the most, if truth be told. Although she should feel animosity for the baby, she simply loved him too much to care about the situation. It was not his fault the way things turned out.

From the swing, Lena could see the sun casting shadows for miles through the hills. She looked off into the horizon at the beauty that was the valley in the fall. The trees were full of life painting brilliant scenery across the way. The smell of wet leaves and morning dew filled her nose. Staring into the distance, Lena’s mind was almost at ease for the first time in weeks. Until she noticed a cloud of dust rising down the driveway. Sure enough, a large white van was coming around the bend headed straight towards the farmhouse.

All the color faded from Lena’s face. Her skin began to feel clammy and cold. Whatever fears she had imagined, just become a reality. Her eyes began to fill with tears and now there appeared to be several vans, but in all actuality, there was just one. The tears obstructed her vision and began to fall on Jimmy. He must have sensed the discomfort shared by his sister; he began to cry again. They had found her, she should have known. She was now theirs.

Lena raised her body from the swing slowly, as though in a trance, but the task posed more difficultly than should have. Her knees were shaking and felt like putty under the weight of her body. It was everything she could do to keep from falling. She and Jimmy made their way back to the house. The short trip seemed to last an eternity. Everything was moving in slow motion. The sounds of the farm. The sounds of rocks kicked under the tires of the van making its way to the house. All the beauty Lena had experienced just moments before had faded to a dull gray.

Upon entering the house, she found her mother in the kitchen, looking out the window. She heard them coming as well and expressed a look of horror upon her face. Lena handed Jimmy to her mother and headed up the stairs. She had preemptively packed a small duffel bag just in case they did come for her. Mostly essentials; underclothes, bathing supplies, and her favorite book. Lena grabbed a band from her dresser and tied her thick, waist length hair back into a tight bun. She looked at herself in the tiny mirror and for a small second, contemplated making a run for it. But how far would she make it before they caught up. She knew the thought was irrational. So instead, wiped the tears from her face as the fateful knock came over the front door. With one last glance around the childhood bedroom she would never return to, Lena headed back down the stairs to meet her doom.

Little Jimmy was screaming at that point and her mother was a sobbing mess. She took a long, deep breath to gather her wits and entered the entryway. There, standing on the porch, were two men dressed in military fatigues holding papers of some sort.

“Lena Jones?” The taller, older of the two asked as she entered their presence.

“Yes.”

“We are recruiters appointed here to collect you. By the power of the United States Government, you have met the criteria for the First Born Rule. Any rights on your behalf from your paternal or maternal parents have been revoked. You are now to come with us to begin your training. Do you have any questions?”

That’s it. That’s all they have to say, Lena thought. No comforting words. No soothing her wreck of a mother. “No.” Lena finally answered in an unsteadily mumble as she struggled to hold back the tears. Though it made no matter, her eyes were already swollen and red.

“Very well. We will explain more once you are united with the other recruits. Say goodbye to your family and come with us then.”

Her mother had finally calmed down the baby who was falling asleep from exhaustion. There was so much Lena wanted to tell her, but it was too late. There were no words to soothe the situation. The recruiters were staring impatiently as she gave her mother one last hug around the neck and kissed Jimmy on the forehead. Lena left her family standing in the entryway to the rundown farmhouse looking as though all hope was lost. She headed out the door never to return, at least not as a child anyways.

The recruiters escorted her to a van where three other children sat quietly looking at the floor. The looks upon their faces were about as lifeless as Lena felt. The van started to pull away and with one last glance, she watched her childhood fade into a darkness. Goodbye mother and sweet Jimmy. One day we will be together again, she thought as the house disappeared around the bend.