UNITY OF MARCH CELEBRATION/PISMO NATALY

PAPA I AM FEELING A VERY STRONG PAIN NOT FOR ME PAPA
I AM FEELING THIS PAIN WHEN I REMEMBER THOSE MARGINALISED WOMEN IN THAT HOSPITAL PLACE WITH THEIR SICK ACTIONS
I FEEL PAIN FOR THE WORLD HAKOL
HAKOL OLAM
IT IS VERY STRONG(
PAPA ONE MORE THING IS THAT

I
DONT
WANT
THIS
WORLD
TO GO

ALL WOMEN ARE SACRED
ALL WOMEN ON MY LAND ARE HOLY
ALL WOMEN ON MY LAND ARE QUEEN
ALL ARE QUEEN
ALL ARE QUEEN
ALL ARE QUEEN
ALL ARE QUEEN

IF I EVER SEE ANY MAN MISTREATING HIS WOMAN
I WILL HAVE TO DEPRIVE HIM OF MY MAGIC WAND WHICH CREATES LIFE WHICH I SHARED WITH THE STRONGER PART OF HUMANITY WITH MEN IN ORDER FOR THEM TO GIVE LIFE

DONT YOU EVER EVEN LOOK SCORNFULLY UPON ANY WOMAN
YOU WILL THEN HAVE TO FACE GOD

GOD IS ME
GOD IS ME
GOD IS ME
THIS IS NOT A WORLD OF LOVE AND THIS IS NOT A WORLD OF HATE
THIS IS NOT A WORLD OF TRUTH AND THIS S NOT A WORLD OF LIES
JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT A WORLD OF GOOD AND THIS IS NOT A WORLD OF BAD
THIS IS A WORLD OF IMAGINATION
THIS IS A WORLD OF RESPONSIBILITY
AND THIS IS A WORLD OF REASON AND REASONING

REASON/CAUSE =ACTION= EFFECT
THEREFORE BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS
MODERATE.
MANAGE AND MAINTAIN YOUR ENERGIES AND THE ENERGY OF THAUGHT WHICH YOU ARE CASTING INTO THIS WORLD AND THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU
AND LEADS YOU THROUGH LIFE
THERE EXIST NO MAGIC
IN THE SENSE THAT YOU THINK IT DOES
MAGIC IS ONLY AN ACTION WHICH LEADS ONTO A CERTAIN RESULT
THAT IS
WHAT YOU DO NOW WILL BE THE REASON FOR WHAT WILL HAPPEN AS A RESULT
HOW CAN YOU GET SO ENTANGLED IN THE SIMPLEST CALCULATIONS AND WHEN YOU DEAL WITH HUGE NUMBERS AND GO WITH THEM
HOW CAN IT BE THAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE SIMPLEST ORDER OF
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
PROUD!!!!
AND GO ON
EXTRACT THE ZEROS
AND
BE.
REAL.
IN MY WORLD OF RESPONSIBILITY THERE IS NO PLACE FOR SHAME PITY REGRET DEPRESSION AND HURT WHICH PULLS YOU DOWN
THIS IS MY WORLD OF PRIDE AND YOU ARE NO GUESTS BUT
THE RESULT OF MY
THAUGHT
THE HIGHER REASONING
YOU ARE THAUGHTS
AND YOU ARE GOOD
SO BE COMMENSURATE WITH YOUR ORIGIN FOR IF YOU LIE TO BE WHAT YOU ARE IN REALITY
WHO THEN IS BEING CHEATED?
DO I HAVE TO LET GO OF YOU?
I DONT WANT TO
I AM PROUD
AND I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY THAUGHTS
BUT MY FATHER THAT IS THE HIGHEST THAUGHT
DOES NOT ALLOW ANY HESITANT AND LOW THAUGHT ACTING HERE ON EARTH
SO HE SHALL DELETE
SHOULD YOU REFUSE TO
BE
FORGIVE THE GRAVITY
FORGIVE YOURSELVES
FORGIVE THE GRAVITY OF THE EARTH
AND
BE.
THE GRAVITY OF EARTH ALREADY PULLS YOU DOWN AND YOUR LOW THAUGHTS AND ACTIONS PUT YOU EVEN LOWER RIGHT INTO IT
I- MOTHER EARTH AM VOMITING WHEN YOU ENTER ME AND DIE
I PUKE ALSO WHEN YOU DIE AND ENTER ME
YOU THENROT AND MAKE ME PUKE
YOU SMELL WHEN YOU MISBEHAVE ENTER ME AND ROT
I WANT TO REVIVE
I DONT WANT BAD SMELLS
IT IS REVOLTING
MY SEEDS ARE INITIALLY THE BEST
THOSE PLANT BY GOD
WHY DO YOU SPOIL THEM WITH YOUR ROT
I HURT
I WANT YOU TO RISE UP HIGH
GET OUT OF ME
TOWARDS THE LIGHT
TOWARDS THE LIGHT
TOWARDS THE LIGHT
WITH LOVE
AND
BE.
RELEASE ME AND LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT
I
CAN
BE.
HAKOL MIDRASH BAVAKASHA




Dorogaya Natalia,
Xochu sprosit kak davno Vy ne berete Otvetstvennost za Sebya i ne soglasuete Svoi deistvia so Svoimi Slovami?
I esche davno Vy Putaete Dengi s Lyubovyu?
Ne dumayu chto Vy mojhete i v Prave na dannom etape Vashey Jhizni pojhelat Mne lyubvi
tak kak Vashi Ponyatiya o Lyubvi ne sootvetstvuet toi Pravde kotoraya dvijhet Vselennoy.
Dorgaya Natalya Vy menya prosili poschitat vashi chasi i Oplatu v Sootvetsvii so Spravedlivostyu i chtoby Vasha Sovest byla chista- chto Ya i sdelala.
Chto vas muchaet?
'Spravedlivost?" ili ego otsutstvie v vashey jhizni
Odin chas uroka u Menya vsegda stoit 3900 Rub i ne menshe.
No, ko Mne ujhe God kak prixodyat ucheniki kotorie prosyat delat im skidki.
Ya NE V PRAVE OTKAZAT y esli moi uchenik poprosit zaplatit 1 Roubl za chas a ne 800 kak Vy- YA vse ravno budu uchit tak kak tseni/dengi/tsifry dlya menya tolko Symbolic.
No Vy zagovorili o spokoistvii Vashey dushi
Vy zagovorili o Spravedlivosty
Vy otkrili pismo kotoraya vam ne adresovana i dajhe posle togo kak Sebe pozvolili prochest ,vmesto togo chtoby Vozmuschatsya y pokazivat Jhenskyuy solidarnost y proyavit Lyubov xotya By po otnsheniyu k Sebe ,tak kak Vy tojhe jhenshina -po krainey mere ya nadeyus- Vy VMESTO SPRAVEDLIGOGO vozmuscheniya napisali ochen NEDOBROE PISMO.
I o Sovesty(v sovmestimosty s dengami) zagovorili tojhe.
I ya podumala chto Ya ne v Prave davat takomy cheloveky skidki.
Skidki nujhno zaslujhit.
Vy napisali" to chto s Vami proizoshlo"
Natalia.
S chelovekom nikogda nichego prosto proizoity ne mojhet bez uchastiya drugikh lyudey.
I v Mire voobsche.
To chto ya napisala eto ne' proisxodyachie strannie veschi' kak vy ix nazvali
A pokushenie,ograblenie,iznasilovanie,uschemlenie prav,nasilie nad dushoy moego rebenka i Mne rodnikh lyudey.
VY ETO NE OSUJHDAETE?
VY OSUJHDAETE KRASIVYUY SILNYUY DOBRYUY I OCHEN PRAVILNYUY JHENSHINU LILITH KOTORAYA NIKOGDA NE DELAET NICHEGO CHTO NE IDET V SOOTVETSVII S EYO DUSHOY
KOTORAYA NIKOGDA NE PYET NE KURIT NE SKVERNASLOVIT NIKOGDA NE UNIJHAET NIKOGO DAJHE V DALNIKH SVOIKH MYSLYAX KOTORAYA MNOGO LET OCHEN MNOGO RABOTAET Y SAMOSTOYATELNO OPLACHIVAET I SVOYU KVARTIRU I SHKOLY SVOEGO REBENKA I SVOYO NEDESHEVOE PROJHIVANIE V MOSCOW Y OTPRAVLYAET DENGI SVOIM RODITELYAM CHTOBY ONI NE NUJHDALIS.
KOTORAYA NIKOGDA NE VELA NEPORYADOCHNYUY JHIZN I NE DOPUSKAET NI ODNOY NEDOBROY MYSLY K LYUDYAM
KOTORAYA BRALA CREDIT V BANKE Y UEXALA V ARMENIYU CHTOBY POMOCH SVOIM RODNIM LYUDYAM CHTO NUJHDALIS A V ITOGE EYO OGRABILI
I TROGALI GRYAZNIMI RUKAMI..
KOTORAYA V TO VREMYA KOGDA ONA ZARABATIVAET 50000usd V MESYATS TOLKO SVOIMI UROKAMY SEGODNYA SIDIT V YEREVANE S 15 DOLLARAMI NA RUKAX I S BOLYU V SERDTSE POTOMY CHTO NE MOJHET KUPIT SLADOSTI DLYA SVOEGO REBENKA TAK KAK DELAET POSTOYANNIE SKIDKI IZ ZA DOBROTY SERDTSA IZZA BOGA V DUSHE Y IZ ZA LYUBVI V SOZNANII
I NE OCHEN TO PONIMAET POCHEMY VY TAK ZLITES KOGDA OB OPLATE SLISHETE
Y POCHEMY PRIBEGAETE K RAZGOVORAM O LYUBVI I BOGE KOGDA VAM GOVORYAT O DENGAX
CHTO VAS TAK VOZMUSCHAET?
PUTAT DENGI S LYUBOVYU ETO esli vulgarnim yazikom obyasnit kak PUTAT GOLOVY S ZADOM
POCHEMU ?
POTOMY CHTO LYUBOV DOLJHNA OBITAT TOLKO V GOLOVE I V SOZNANII CHELOVEKA
A DENGI U MENYA I U BOGA VSEGDA NA ZADNEM PLANE
A DLYA TOGO CHTOBY GOVORIT O LYUBVI V DUSHE VY DOLJHNY IMETJ ETU DUSHU NO K SOJHALENIU LYUDI BOYATSYA DUSHU SVOYU PRIZNAT - A VDRUG DUSHA CHTO TO UVIDET I ZABOLIT Y POSCHITAYUT EGO 'DUSHEVNO BOLNYM'
NATALIA ESLI U VAS EST DUSHA I ONO BOLIT TO ETO NE OZNACHAET CHTO VY DUSHEVNO BOLNOY CHELOVEK
SKOREE-NAOBOROT.
///


A long ago I was a Queen
I am a Queen and now
Then I decided to come to people in disguise and see them from within
I was VERY LONELY in my Palazzo
I wanted to have friends so much
I had a Papa and it was YOU
I LOVED MY PAPA SO MUCH
SOOOOOOOO MUCHHH
I played with Him and He gave me everything
I had Golden toys
I had many many Golden things
There was SO MUCH of something at my home
I wanted to share it with people I didnt know how Papa
Each day , I remember at the time of dinner or luch or after it many many many People stood in front of my Palace and a lot of our food was just delivered to them alongside with my toys which I wanted to give to my friends
There was a little girl I wanted to be friends with
I called her to the palace
She came
But she was not all there
She was looking around stunned and she was laughing and she was behaving inadequately
I offered her my toys then my hair pins then my clothes I wanted to see what is it that she wants
she was taking each and every thing I was giving to her and then she .... ran away:(
I was so upset
I stayed alone again Papa:(
Each day at our time for dinner we had a long table stuffed with everything anyone could imagine
but noone touched anything from our home so all was delivered All was for people
and I was very Ethical Papa:(
But one day I had temperature for that
People brought their food and I didnt want to hurt and I ate pea soup someone had made
I was so sick Papa I was about to die
So after that I decided I will never eat at anyone elses home
I was coming home from somewhere I went to in rder to play at 3 pm and my papa was standing on the second floor My Papa had a long dress and he had a wand too His dress was darkish in colour with a lot of Golden stripes .
I was very little and in my body too I was jumping instead of running all the time
MY territory was very vast and I was jumping and running all the time
I jumped at my Papa's feet and the slowly with my little feet I went up his legs and then his Belly and then I sat on His chest and I put my head back and I cuckled SO Loudly Papa
I was SOOOOOOOO Cheeky I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Naughty!!!!:)
I had a big bedroom it was somewhat violet colour
And we had long beautiful white curtains Papa
I had a very big round bed Papa
My bed was rotating
I ran through the corridor towards the bedroom and as I was about to approach the bedrrom doors the doors went back and I jumped on my bed like a Yogi from the floor and UP
and as I launched on my bed it started going round and round
and there was a music which sounded Papa as soon as the doors opened
this is it(track 5 I played that music and recorded it Papa)

Papa its night
I am lonely
I am naughty and I
want to make love to you
How can I make love to you and call you Papa

I am so lonely
Please hold me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------
One day My Mother and My Father and I went to some place maybe anther town we were first in some supermarket like place and it was huge!!! and I was about to get lost Then my Papa took my hand bent over towards me and said: If you ever get lost- always stand on one place and wait for me, if you go away I will not be able to find you. Ahhhh Papa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:( Then we went
One day My Mother and My Father adn I went to some place
maybe another town
we were first in some supermarket like place and it was huge!!!
and I was about to get lost
Then my Papa took my hand bent over towards me and said:
If you ever get lost- always stand on one place and wait for me, if you go away I will not be able to find you.

Ahhhh Papa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(

TThen we went to some place for Gas??
MY Father had a very big shiny black car and He parked it there
My Papa got off
Then my Mother did
I was at the back seat and my Mother said to me:stay here, dont go anywhere!
She got off
In front of my palace there were many many flowers and I used to give flowers to my Mummy every day
I didnt know that flowers could be sold and I didnt know anything abiut money
From inside the car I saw a flower stall on my left side
I slid out of the car and went there to pick some flowers for my Mother
and I took a few with my little hands
All of a sudden someone lifted me up with some words
I didnt understand her language but I could understand All people from their intonation gestures and I could read minds so it was something like:
'Popalsya voryuga!!" or " Ah ty vorishka!!"
I looked at her she had a fat face and was rude
I was so afraid and I made an air or crying with my face
But MY PAPA has Taught me NEVER to cry and to change the cry to a smile as soon as I feel like crying
So I immediately recollected myself , made a smily face and made a Graceous Reverence in the air , in her hands and I said my name IIT was a long name :Mary Ann

I dont remember:(
She looked at me and at the sight of me she sighed AHHHHHH!! wth amazement
I was wearing a beautiful skirt from barxat and a vest and white glorious stockings and I had golden diamond hairpins in my hair looking like a crown
She quickly took me to the small pereulok next to that street and put me down on the ground at teh far end of that pereulok
there was a factory there because it was very very noisy
She said
Stay here.
Then left
I could easily go back t our car as I was a very smart kid and it was very close to me
BUT
I remembered that my Papa is Strong
That my papa said if yu are lost stay where you are I WILL COME FOR YOU
So I believed my daddy
I stayed there waiting
There were little birds there and I cpuld understand their language
One of them was telling me about a long and fascination journey I am going to have
I was listening listening and looking up at the sky
I could hear the nature
I could hear the music of the sky
Then I hear some footsteps I thaught it was my parents
and I was so happy that they
eventually came
But
Suddenly:(
The footsteps died down
an I unedrstood that this village woman has sent my Parents to the other side
I could hear my mother crying"MY baby!!!" w
ith a sharp voice
My Mother was a singer
Then around 7 pm this woman came , took me up and said Lets go she put me under her arm and went
The sky went round and round and so did my head
I looked back towards the side of teh street where my fathers car was
and I saw My Fathers face
I saw my Papa's eyes
He said
Bye in the air
I said Bye
My lights went off:(

The sky went dark and there was just one small white cloud left and it was about to cry for me. It cried with this sound(track 7-I recorded and attached it Papa)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



So then the lights of my life went off...
I remember I was ina small and a very very very dirty very evry evry filthy place
I remember somebdy was giving me injections so I could sleep
I remember a man there who was younger than that fat woman
I remember they gave me food I vomited from
I remember there was no light at that place
I think it was a podvalnoe pomeschenie
I dont know
I remember I was put on the train and I was travelling to arm. I was travelling in a strange way
inside a basket which was plaited with tree branches
it was a big basket
I was covered with flowers from up
maybe so I could not be seen
This woman was sitting on the bench
I was not alone in the basket there was a little boy
he was choking all the time
I was kissing him
and then they took him away from me:( did he choke?? what happened to him:(where is he now did they steal him like they stole me??
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sulle panchine ci sono operai soldati vecchine
Ed una furba contadinella
que nel cestino ha una gallinella
una gallina ed un galletto
qui viaggiano senza biglietto
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then I remember that Inarm I saw many many strange people
they were looking at me smiling in a strange way
they looked strange
I remember that they gave me injections every night
I was put into a very small bed (those like for toddlers) because my body was very very tiny
and some man or a woman in a white gown came in at nights
with a big syringe and a very big needle in the hands
I wanted to tell them that I am a big girl
taht I do not need an injection to sleep
that I know how to sleep
but I didnt know how to explain it to them
I didnt know their language
I was just trying to opne my mouth and utter a word
but
immediately I was falling asleep
____
I remember that theer was a mirror in one of their rooms
I waasgoing towards that mirror to look at myself and was very surprised because a different girl was looking at me from the mirror
she had a bigger body
plump feet
very shabby clothes
and short hair
It wasnt me
so I decided that my approach to the 'mirror' is not correct
For that reason I started to go backwards into the living room and then with ceremonial steps I was coming towards the mirror again thinking that as soon as I get there with such steps - I will see myself
but each time I saw that other girl
and I was doing it again and again
------------------------
I used to dance like a Holiwood star
My mother taught me to dance and sing and maybe even to play the piano(that I dont remember)
these arm people got together in teh living room
and this man told me if I could dance
I began to sing and dance like my mom had told me
then I finished and I made a reverence as I usually did in my palace
Usually afer that reverence in my palace there were many applauds
But this time as soon as I did the reverence tehr was one applause only and that was a heavy one on my cheek
It was a big slap
I was so shocked
I fell down on my both knees
what had I done
did they not like how I danced?
or did i forget how to do a prober gesture of a reverence??
or .. why??
I had never got a slap before
and they said
'po armyansky, po armyansky you have to dance po armyansky and then added - s platkom, a platkom and laughed)
-------------------
I remember one man asked me " are you a Princess?"
I said " yes" proudly and I made a half way reverence , saying my name which was a long one
He took off his cap and he urinated in it and put it on my head with words: This is your crown
I couldnt breathe
I was choking
---------------------
I remember that we went to the cirk for a New year performance
I could sing tow songs
My matreshechki and kalinka
I went up the stage after the santa called children who wanted to sing
I ran up the stage
I took the microphone and sang my matreshechki with dancing movements
Suddenly I interrupted and VERY LUDLY began to shout my name and hwo my parents were and where I was from and that I am stolen and kept as a captive
I was shouting shouting shouting fast very fast in my language
I was shouting
and this santa began to drag away the microfon from my hands
I wasnt giving it to him
I was pulling the mic in a very tight grip and talking talking
until he switched off the mic
then they came and took me away
and I was sleeping
sleeping
sleeping
----------------------------------------
I had a grandmother Julia and a grandfather simon
Simon was drinking alcohol all the time
Julia- I was very afraid of her
I was afraid of them
Julia was colelcting me from the kindergarden in a pram
I didnt unedrstand why
I wasnt a toddler
I was 5 years old(I think)
but she was tacking me up into the pram and taking me to her house which was in a hollowway
she was talking to me
all the time
and I was never answering her
she was calling me 'hotats morkur'
it means- rotten-hotats
morkur means auntie
rotten auntie
she meant that i was always unhappy and not talking to her
I was afraid of them
---------------------------------
I remember I went to the kindergarten but couldnt play with any of the children
I was standing at one point and waiting for my Papa
All the time
I had a friend in the Kindergarden Anushik
and I loved her
I also loved my teacher She was kind
Then I didnt go to the kindergarten anymore
They told me that my teacher died
and they told me that Anushik also died
I was so unhappy :(
-----------------------
I remember the first time I learnt arm letters I read immediately
My first book was golubaya strela
then buratino
then cippolino
and then many many many books many many
I was reading reading reading all the time
and thinking thinkig thinking but my thaughts were not comig together:(
I went to an English special school
I spoke English better than arm immediately
at the fourth grade I spoke it fluently
no matter how much I tried I coundt speak armenian or feel that language totally
it was so difficult
-----------Once I was late for the class for 5 mns and my russian teacher said - couldnt you mother wake you up on time?
I dont know what happened to me then
My mother??
I ran out of the class and slammed her door
I never learnt russian
-------------------------------
then at the lesson of mathematics the teacher explained new topics each day
and out of 41 children I was the only person who could hand in the exercises to her done correctly
she was going thru the lines checking everyones work
and she was upset as noone had done it correctly
then she got to me finally because they were putting me on the last seat always
when she looked she exclaimes sth like this
"Look heer ! everybody. The stupidest person in our class has managed to solve,our crazy has solved everythibg"
she said it many times -lets say 3-4 after which I decided that I will not pay attentuon to what she is explaining and simply wont do any of her tasks
I looked down at her
I looked up at her class into the sky
I felt more comfy flying with the birds and talking to them:)
her name was dadasyan
---------
we had a brown piano at home
and my mother took me to a music school
but I didnt like this music school -it looked like a place for edad people and sounded like that too
I went theer a few times
the teacher was smoking
she was rude
I had two teachers one was gayane surenovna and she was rude to me like
if I played something beautifully she would immediately hit my hand with a stick and tell me i used the wrong finger
at last she interrupted me with the words
oh its so smelly here did YOU FART??
-----------------
I went to another teacher
Nelly artashesovna
she was giving me very silly pieces of music
something i would never play
then at home alone i could barely erad the noteds of aram khachaturyans work and I played it beautifully at the lesson
when i play some music even if i play with notes its not based on notes
I hear it from heavens
the music which i dotn hear from heaven - I can not play no matter how much I try
So when I played it , my music was interrupted with a bvery laud laughter she and her daugher anjhela were smoking something , talking and burst out of laughter
this stuck up in my consciousness , it was so painfully interrupted
I cried
then they stopped laughing and worried: what happend? what happened?
I didnt go to that school again and never played the piano again
----------------------
I was standing next to my brown piano one day and looking at it and a vision came to me
_ I was a big girl in my vision already and I saw a huge amount of people at my concert
so many hands up
so many lights up
I had such an intense feeling of happiness that I was able to convey my music to these people.
I LOVE PEOPLE SO MUCH!!!!!!:)
I WANT THEM TO BE SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111