confessions pt 2

confessions pt2.
After rereading the og confessions I feel like I need to update. Not that anything was wrong with it, but I was much more naive. That's just life though, you're always going to look back at some point and think if only you knew then what you know now...but then things would be dull. Where's the excitement in that? If getting older and wiser means things become boring, i'd rather die young and naive. Truth is though, nobody really knows wtf they're doing. Whether your 12, 64, black, white, green...your going through life just as blind as anyone else. You never know what's going to happen. After doing some very questionable things i've surely realized life will throw you curve balls and you can't predict how your body will naturally respond. People don't become more intelligent, they become stubborn. They settle because life isn't about being happy and care free anymore. Its about stress, money, responsibilities, drama, blah blah blah. Then its just monotony. Comfortable monotony. I cant. I've deff come to terms with the fact I'm a rare type of individual. Maybe I do too many drugs, maybe I'm batshit insane but w.e I'm genuinely happier than most people...and I know this for a fact just by judging peoples thoughts and actions and concerns. By the presence they carry with them. At least i am right now. I know what its like to lose myself, and finally being aware of that feeling has made a huge change in me. Right now I'm flying solo and I don't see my hopes for having a normal marriage with perfect children really happening for me...idk I see something more wild and exciting. Vinnie fucked me up, but alas I'm stronger than ever. I'm at the point where idk if the path I'm on will lead me to being a bum on the streets or a lucky millionaire but I can't wonder or worry...I just have to do and enjoy. Life is too short, and in the end we all die anyway. Just a harsh truth that acid really taught me. Were all so small, and life should be lived enjoying the simple things, and not taking things so seriously. Some might say I'm just going off on irrelevant bullshit and I shouldn't be so concerned with this druggie mindset but idc anymore. I'm happy and I think I'm on my way to an awesome life in my book. Idgaf what anyone says or thinks anymore. Its liberating and sad at the same time. I'm being selfish. But its about damn time. It truly is a dog eat dog world out there. You never know what someone is capable of. At this point I don't trust a single soul, and I'm OK with that. I don't need other people swaying me right now, I need me myself and I. I'm sure in time I'll tender up a bit again but right now I'm thoroughly enjoying living life on the more dangerous side. #yolo