2 Hour Review: Two Worlds 2 GOTY

I want to talk about Two Worlds 2 (Stylised as "Cross WO Worlds 2") Velvet GOTY Edition.
Now, first i will mention that this is a direct sequel (as evidenced by "The Prophet" allmost flatout telling me so) so i can't tell you how this holds up as a sequel only on its own merits. Second, i'll mention that i was not looking forward to playing this game again though, at the time of playing, i couldn't tell you why. I decided that i wouldn't beat the game (because i'm not a professional) instead i'll play for the first two hours and go from there. -Note I'm playing this on the ps3- Also I want to apologize for spelling errors.

Hour 1:
The Game starts with the create a character screen, you get one choice "Male Human" though you can be black if you want (one step at a time, i guess). I must admit, its been awhile since i played a fantasy rpg where i can only be a human (Dragon age 2 is another one). Anyway after making a character who looks like he is a lead singer in an 'alt' rock band, we get a cutscene where we see our nameless protagonist (Herein reffered to as "Twat"), his sister and a character model ripped straight from Oblivion...I mean Gandohar (Oh yeah, don't expect actual character names because i don't remember them) as the latter absorbs power from your sister ("Whiny Twat/Whinnie") and is also abosorbing power from you (actually you find out about 20 minutes later that he was just offshooting the damage that abosrbtion would've cause on her to you) and is taunting you both, because why not? Anyway your sister is really a God of fire (Azrial, i think the name was), then you get thrown back into the dungeon. Before they can finish throwing you into the dungeon, there is a long hallway they must pass which is perfect for an ambush. So after you get saved by a lady with a hyphen in her name (who is a rouge class) you must now escape. I'll save you the exposition by reducing it to a sentance: She is an Orc, as are the group saving you, They are the last of their kind, and a lady called "The Prophet" told them to save you. Got all that? So after you make your way to a teleportation stone (or something like that) ya'll teleport away to...TUTORIAL ISLAND! Here you learn: Stealth Kills, Regular Combat, Archery, and Magic. After that, you meet this 'Prophet'. She tells you that Gandohar wants to...well she's not sure what he wants, all she knows is that he is the emperor, and kills any and all who appose him, and he is aborbing Whineys power. I'm not joking when she says that she doesn't know what he wants with the power. She says this mere seconds after he mentions he is the emperor and he kills people who appose him. WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WANTS TO WITH THE POWER?!! MAKE CUPCAKES?! BRING THE WORLD EVERLASTING PEACE?! Anyway, she shows you a vision she had where everyone dies (the vision doesn't show the world, just a village but it's supposed to represent the world) and is now tired, though she does explain that "it is but a path, not destiny". She now needs to rest but you should go talk to Hyphen and she'll give you a bedroom. She does, and tells you to meet with the Smelter (Who is blind, so will be called "Jo"). You meet with him and he gives you a quest (WOO! FIRST SIDEQUEST!!) well, i didn't do it because i didn't have anything to melt down into steel (which was what he wanted) so screw him. Hyphen said she wanted to talk to us after we got done talking to Jo, she tells us to talk to the Prophet again (who is now well rested. I guess it's showing us the vision isn't as tiring as she said it was). The Prophet tells us to get in contact with the resistance. To do that we have to leave the Orc Sacntuary, she tells us to talk to the mage. The mage teleports to a town, and to the end of Hour 1.

Things I Will Now Bitch about:
So, the voice acting eats. The Main character is clearly trying to channel Christan Bale's Batman, but instead sounds like Batman has a cold. The 'x' button is not select, rather 'triangle' is. To put translate this to the 360 that's 'A' not being select but 'Y'. If you aren't paying attention (which i wasn't) you start the game off with a character you don't like to look at (i restarted so i could make my character). When dropping items, 'circle' is how you do it (which bugged me because "Square" or "Triangle" felt more right to me) You notice that this could be fixed by changing the controls, but guess what? Can't do it. That, is something you can get used to, though i can't say the same about the rest of the controls. Most notably the 'L2' button. The L2 button has 3 purposes:1.Guard/Block 2.Run 3.Sneak. Also the sneak is not a toggle, you have to hold it down (which wouldn't be a problem, if i could change it) if, say, you're running in a field and notice on your mini map that there are a group of enemies, you have to come to a complete stop then press (and hold) L2 untill you are away from danger. Or Alternativly just run pass them, thats usually an option and most enemies (that i ran into) don't chase you. Unlike OTHER games where if you stealh past them your stealth skill raises, this game doesn't have that. You only level up from fighting, though i did get 1 skill point from lockpicking twice. Speaking of Lockpicking, it's ridiculously easy, all you have to do is press L2 twice. I know what you're thinking "It has to be harder than that!" You're right i oversimplified it, you have to press L2 to start lockpicking than L2 when the pick is over a hole. Congragulations you just picked a lock! Let's talk about the combat for a second. You press down to enter combat (which doesn't flow well) then R2 to attack then, if you're really advanced, press L2 to block. Congragulations! You've now beat the game! Well, i would say it's that easy, which it is, except when you have to fight more than one then it becomes a mess, because if you're blocking the front, than their comrade can attack you from behind, which i understand other games do that as well, but there usually is a system in place, like automagically switching to the person attacking you so you can block, however Twat doesn't have any self defense mechanismes and is perfectlly satisfied with talking the punishment (maybe he's a Sadomasochist?). Also if the comrade is using range attacks? Might as well reload a save now.

Thing I WIll Praise:
I Like The Camera, and the way the game looked.

Hour 2:
You teleport into the starting city and imediately you character gets a headache becuase your sister is contacting you TELEPATHICALLY! All she says is 'Help Me'. After that, a begger comes up and asks for money, which i gave him, he explains that he is from a fishing village that had its ships destroyed and tried to make it here, but it's currently going through a drought. I was orginally going to look around town, but i jumped infront of a guard and the game said "I atttracted the attention of the city guard", i guess that was a bad thing and haulled ass out of town. It was around this point where i realised that friendly people where on my map as blue darts which i thought was weird but cool, beacuse usually i've had a hard time finding somebody in an rpg. I talked to a woman, yet when i did my character acted like i already knew her. And not in an a "Hey weren't you from the first game' kind of way. She specifically stated that 'Oh, have you been talking to the villagers'. So aparently the game assumed i would go around talking to people. Anyway, i decided to just run to another village instead. The only other village i found, that wasn't populated by people wanting to kill me, was empty. It wasn't like i was just running around in a field, i was running on the trail! Anyway i found a guy building a house, he asked me to get his tools back from some monkeys. Then, after i agreed too his workers jumped me! But because they suck worse at the combat than i do, they died pretty quick. The guy told me that they started to pretend like workers when i showed up, and the guy hoped i would notice that the were armed. The thing is, i didn't notice that they were armed, but even if i did i wouldn't think it unusual because, i ran passed giant ants, monekys, rhino, and wolf people. I would think it more weird if they weren't armed. Anyway, after that i ran around untill i hit the 2 hour mark looking for another village(That i didn't find)

Conclusion:
The game works, i like the camera but that's about it. The story, that i took part in, didn't engage me, nor leave me wanting more. The voice acting was bad, but honestly what do you expect from a knock-off? I liked the way the game looked, but not because it was pretty. The Character models were hideous (though i admit that it was a superfical reaction, and not a poorly made model). Once you get used to the controls the game 'works' The attack button attacks, and the block button blocks/runs/sneaks. Oh! I didn't mention the skill trees, eh I don't care.