Confession

The day he confessed to me,
I didn’t even see it coming.
Things had been distant,
quiet for a long time.
It would’ve been almost nice,
if it hadn’t been so lonely,
because for so long
things were so loud.
I thought it was just over.
He didn’t love me anymore.
I thought he was slipping away from me
and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Lord knows I tried.
The look on his face when he confessed
Was like nothing I’d ever seen.
The shame,
the disappointment
the heartache,
was almost too much on its own.
And then he said it
“I’m addicted. I need help.”
Might as well have sucker punched me
In my gut.
Who was this man in front of me?
How could this have been happening
And I knew nothing of it until now.
Had I chosen not to see?
How else could he hide this so well?
I screamed, I cried.
I hid from him and then clung to him,
I fought with my inner voices
daily.
What now? Do I leave him?
No.
I knew it was time to love him even more.
For better or for worse,
this was our worst.
I needed to support him
forgive him
help him
give him a chance to prove that he would get better.
And he did.
He’s 5 months sober.