Tending To The Wings Of The Fallen

One of the worst things to wake up to in the morning was the face of someone you had never met sleeping in the same bed as you. The second worst thing was knowing that person. It was becoming less shocking every day but somehow it still managed to make his fuzzy brain panic every morning.

"Jesus Cas, I told you not to sleep in my bed!" Dean complained one morning as he grabbed his small bag of toiletries from his duffel. Castiel was sitting on the bed that Dean had just exited, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He scratched his scruff and opened his eyes before addressing Dean.

"Sam was covering hid whole bed. I could not fit on it." He explained and Dean closed his eyes before turning to the bathroom.

"You shouldn't sleep with him either Cas." He explained and Cas fixed a confused gaze on Dean's back as he began to brush his teeth.

"Where should I sleep then? You two insist on only getting one room and each room only has two beds." Cas said pointedly and Dean sent him a look before spitting into the sink.

"The one who comes through the door last has to sleep on the floor. We made that a rule when you decided to join us Cas." He explained and continued brushing his teeth. Castiel looked down at the bed, not knowing how to reply. The door opened to the motel room and a sweaty, breathless Sam walked through. He wiped his forehead with the towel hanging around his neck and took the ear buds from his ears before looking over at Cas.

"Morning." He huffed with a nod and Cas looked up at him with an innocent look.

"Good morning Sam." He greeted back and got up from the bed. "What will we be doing today? There aren't any cases in the paper or online, are there?" Castiel asked Sam as he walked over to his newly adopted duffel. Sam huffed behind him and ruffled his hair.

"I checked this morning before I left and nothing came up. We can probably head back to the bunker now that our job here is done." He explained and Dean's head popped out of the bathroom, the toothpaste and toothbrush gone.

"Hell yeah, that means I can sleep in a comfortable bed again." He said before his head disappeared. Castiel pulled a T-shirt out of his bag and tossed it onto the bed across from him before bending back down and looking for a pair of cleaner pants.

"The drive back is gonna be long probably a good day and a half." At Sam's statement Dean groaned from the bathroom walking out. He was not only fully dressed but his hair was spiked at the top. He had probably wet his head in the sink. Castiel tried not to stare, knowing full well how it affected him when he began noticing people's stares, but his blues were brought back to the water dripping down the brunettes forehead. He blindly grabbed a pair of pants and turned away before Dean noticed.

"We'll have to stop at another motel." Dean complained making a sour face. Sam smiled at him with an expression that clearly said 'don't bitch, it's ur fault' before he started walking to the bathroom, his duffel in his hand. Castiel noticed this and wanted to protest. It was his turn to change in the bathroom just like it always was now, but he kept his mouth shut and just ran his hand over the back of his neck before he yawned. Dean glanced at him before smirking and going back to his duffel bag.

"You're never gonna get used to cheap beds, are you Cas?" He asked and Castiel hummed in agreement before he grabbed the hem of his shirt.

"I just need coffee." Castiel mumbled before pulling his shirt over his head. His hair became even more ruffled from it.

Bed head always looked good on the ex-angel, but it was never acknowledged. Although a waitress in a small diner outside of Austin had told the Angel turned human that he looked like an incredibly naughty boy. He had been waiting for Dean and Sam inside while they parked the Impala, telling Cas to get himself coffee since he had been especially crabby that morning, and a nice woman came up to him. She was a fairly attractive woman with caramel colored eyes and a fiery orange bun on top of her head. She had soft features with a button nose and average lips; not too full and not too thin. Cas didn't seem particularly interested but she had walked up with a order pad and a pen, a cheery smile on her face. She had asked him what he wanted and when he had said 'just black coffee, thanks.' her smile had turned into a little smirk and she had bent real close to whisper the compliment in his ear. Of course Cas still wasn't used to being flirted with and he had just looked at her with a confused look and stated 'I can assure you I have done many bad things, but none of them have ever been for tainted reasons.' and well. She had left with a shit eating grin and Castiel had to explain, not only the experience, but why he had a phone number on his palm.

"Hurry up Sammy! I want to get on the road!" Dean called as Castiel slipped on his shirt and started stripping his sweats. Dean looked over at him and coughed uncomfortably. "Come on man, we have a bathroom for that." He said and Castiel looked at him pointedly.

"Seeing as you are in such a hurry to get to the bunker and Sam is using the bathroom I thought it was best to change now instead of wasting time waiting around for the bathroom to be vacated." Castiel said gruffly and bent down to pull on his pants.

His back turned and Dean saw the healing scars on Castiel's shoulder blades. His jaw tightened and he wiped a hand on his face as he remembered the first time he saw Cas after the fall. He didn't understand how the ex-angel had found the bunker, or even how he had survived as long as he did without food or a proper place for warmth, but Dean had opened the door one morning as he was going out for groceries and found Castiel collapsed at the bottom of the stairs to the entrance. His clothes were in tatters, he had somehow lost his coat - which honestly made Dean a little sad because he liked that coat - and his hair was longer than it had been before. It had been a month since all of the angels fell and though Dean had wanted to go look for Castiel, Sam was in no condition to be left by himself. The first time he saw the wounds on Castiel's back they weren't honestly wounds. They were only newly forming scars but they were incredibly red and inflamed.

Castiel hadn't handled himself well the first time he woke up in the bunker. He had been asleep for nearly a week and during that time the boys were worried that he wouldn't wake up. Sam had even suggested that they take him to the hospital, but Dean didn't think it was a good idea to be taking a mentally unstable ex-angel into a place where they could easily admit him to the hospital. Especially when they didn't know how he was doing mentally themselves. So after a week and two days when Castiel woke up completely and absurdly vacant of all will to live, they had to keep an eye on him nearly all the time. Sure they knew that he wouldn't harm himself, he had made his way all the way to Kansas after all, but they needed to make sure he wouldn't crack when they weren't looking.

Eventually they started to train him with a gun and all sorts of tricks to demon hunting and Dean took him out for some local or close by jobs. Sam still wasn't in the right shape until a year later. He was back on his feet, out the door and kicking ass like he used to. But Cas still seemed bothered when they went out on hunts. After a while Dean noticed that Cas would tense up and after hunts he would reach back and gently prod his shoulders. When Dean asked about it Castiel grew quiet and wouldn't meet his eyes. After Dean bothered him about it Castiel had explained how his scars weren't on the surface of the skin, but beneath as well. In the muscle, the tissue, even in the bone. It was as if he really had wings at some point and had them ripped from his body.

Dean was brought back from his thoughts when Sam came out of the bathroom fully clothed wiping his damp hair from his face. The dull ache in his chest was pointedly ignored as he grabbed his duffle. Castiel had been studying Dean the whole time Dean had been spaced out and was curious about the many expressions the hunter had made. He had wanted to ask, but Sam was already walking for the door, his duffle and laptop in his hands. With a quiet sigh Castiel followed them to the car. He dumped his bag into the trunk and got into the back seat quietly. After Dean had returned the key they made it to the diner without much trouble. Dean had bitched about the food not being all that good, but Castiel didn't think much food from diners tasted all that good.

Sam ordered his usual coffee cake and coffee while Dean bought his usual 'everything shoved onto the same plate at once it has to look delicious' while Cas just had some pancakes and coffee. The waitress wasn't attractive at this diner, Cas thought briefly as she took their order. Then Sam had his attention.

"Are you going shopping when we get back or do you think Kevin got that already?" Sam asked Dean and Castiel perked up at this.

"Kevin told me that he was going out to shop when Charlie came by. They were going to stop by a TV shop and see if they could get the old black and white TV fixed." He explained and Sam took a sip of his coffee as Dean pointed his fork at him.

"You don't think they were gonna sell it to get a HD screen were they?" Dean asked. Sam frowned at him and Castiel shook his head.

"Kevin promised that he wouldn't let Charlie buy a new TV." Castiel said and Sam laughed sipping his coffee.

"She'd probably hook up a gaming console and make it a 3D HD TV instead." He said and Cas gave a small smile.

"Knowing Charlie, yes that is possible." Castiel agreed before sipping his own coffee. After they had finished their breakfast they continued on their way home. Most of the conversation that went over in the car was between Sam and Castiel. It was mostly over history and the customs of the American laws - something which Dean wouldn't touch with a five foot pole - but they did change it to cars after a little while. Which did give Dean the chance to join into their conversation. By the time they got back to the bunker all of them were cranky and even the sight of Charlie and Kevin playing the Legend of Zelda on a new pair of DS's couldn't really lighten their moods.

"I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when it's time for dinner." Sam said and Dean didn't even say anything.

He just watches Sam walked down the hall and up the stairs to his room. Charlie chuckled but said nothing as she continued playing. Castiel sent Dean a tired smile and motioned his head for the other to follow. When they managed to get to the study Castiel felt something brush up against his leg before he heard a small high pitched noise. He bent down slowly and when he straightened he was holding a small tan colored kitten with a dark brown face, tail and ears. It's bright greenish-blue eyes were currently looking at Dean with a cute innocence that the man couldn't help but find endearing.

From down the hall Charlie's voice carried and the kitten's head whipped around, clearly startled. Sometimes Dean wondered why Castiel had adopted the skittish kitten, but somehow Dean thought it matched how Castiel used to be. He was unknown with a lot of things. Sure, he could fight off demons and other supernatural creatures with his angel blade, but he didn't know how to operate a gun, or do most human things such as shave or brush his teeth correctly. He was edgy and skittish the first few months he was here, not sure where boundaries were with the Winchesters were or if Kevin even liked him. Charlie has welcomed him with open arms, fawning over the "baby in a trench coat" as she had reminded him of Dean's words. She had taught him the basics of a computer, how to search the web, and when those were memorized she taught him other things about the computer. She still wouldn't teach him how to hack things. With time the kitten would learn the comfort of the bunker and what to be afraid of and what not to, just like Castiel had.

Carrying the kitten with him, Castiel entered the library. Dean followed behind and they both sat down in arm chairs, quiet for a few moments before Cas spoke.

"Are we ever going to fix this?" He asked, the pain clear in his voice. Dean knew what he was talking about. He never mentioned the situation other than asking if it would ever be resolved. The three men always edged around saying the words 'angels fallen from heaven' because of the affect it had on Castiel. Every day they searched for lore, or fiction in books and yet, they hadn't found more than a few whispers in the wind. Dean looked at Castiel's face, feeling the pity knot in his gut. For a moment he only watched the kitten curl up in Castiel's lap, purring away as if he hadn't a care in the world before he answered.

"I don't know Cas. We haven't heard anything about it for a while. Hell is completely silent and we have no news about Metatron." He explained and even the name he had spoken left a simmer of agony in Castiel's eyes. "We'll fix this Cas. We've stopped the apocalypse and ganked every monster we can think of. We can fix this." He reassured the former angel as he wrung his hands on the arm rests. Castiel's shoulders slumped a little but he looked up at Dean with a sad smile.

"I believe in you and Sam, Dean." He said nothing more as he turned his head down and looked at the kitten again. Dean felt that guilt and pity curl in his stomach even more. After all that Castiel went through, all the things he thought he was doing for the greater-good; he had fucked up royally and in the worst way possible.

"How are your shoulders today?" Dean asked as he saw Castiel shift a bit in his chair. The kitten let out an obnoxious purr but stayed where he was. Castiel looked up at Dean's words but couldn't hold his stare. He found the arm of his seat far more interesting at that moment.

"They are... rather sore tonight... More so, than usual." He mumbled and Dean closed his eyes for a short moment as he collected his thoughts. When he opened them again Castiel was playing with the kitten.

"Stay there. I'll be back." Dean commanded as he lifted himself from the chair. Castiel looked up a little surprised by the command but stayed where he was.

Dean exited the library, closing the door behind him as he went, and making his way yo the kitchen. He couldn't do much for the pain in Cas' back seeing as the pain went all the way down to his bones, but he could at least make sure the skin and muscle were soothed. Picking a first aid kit out from under the kitchen sink, Dean extracted some muscle rub from the tin box and replaced it. When he entered the library again Castiel had the kitten on its back in his lap and was watching it bat at a piece of string he had gotten from a small basket in the table. The kitten was playing with it so animatedly it looked like he was going to fall off Castiel's lap. The other man looked up when Dean entered the room.

"Where did you go?" Castiel asked as he set the string on his lap. The kitten dug its claws into his leg and with a wince he extracted the feline and set it on the floor. Dean watched the kitten paw at Castiel's pant leg as he held up the tube of muscle rub.

"This should work for a while." He explained and when Castiel looked like he wanted to refuse Dean settled him with a stern look. "Cas, we haven't tried this yet. It might help." He pleaded making Cas sigh and begin tugging at his shirt. When it was off Dean made his way in front of Castiel's chair and twirled his pointer finger in a gesture meant to tell him to turn around.

"Wouldn't it be beneficial for me to sit in a dining chair instead of an arm chair?" Castiel asked giving Dean a confused look. Dean rolled his eyes but didn't move.

"It'll be more comfortable for you to kneel in this chair. Just- just turn around." He said and after a few more tense moments Castiel turned around, folding his arms over the back and settling his chin over them.

Dean twisted the cap off of the bottle and squeezed some of the rub onto his hand. The smell of mint hit his nose so hard his eyes watered, but he twisted the cap closed and rubbed his hands together anyway. The smell wasn't as bad as fermenting body parts anyway so he could deal with it. After warming the gel in between his palms he ran them over the scars on Castiel's back and even a little lower. After a few good rubs to get all the gel off of his palms he set to work rubbing his muscles in between the ex-angel's shoulder blades with firm strokes. He thumbs kneaded into the flesh and Castiel let out a soft breath at the feeling. It tingled his skin pleasantly and the cool sensation on his heated skin was welcomed. Dean's fingers were really close to what Castiel would consider heaven. He groaned when Dean pressed on a particularly sensitive spot and shuddered when Dean pressed his knuckled into the spot, kneading the knot away almost immediately.

"You are-" He gasped, his words being cut off when Dean pressed against a painful part of his scars. It was soothed away when Dean worked his magic with his thumbs. Castiel continued after a moment of breathing. "You are very good at this." He said quietly and Dean hummed, not wanting to explain himself. When Castiel realized Dean had no intention of continuing the conversation he settled back down on the seat and tried to relax. He didn't have to try too hard.

Dean smiled a bit when Castiel relaxed against the chair. If he couldn't do much for the newly human angel, he could at least do this.