Mac the Scrooge: A Cool Christmas Carol

Mac, The Scrooge?

A Cool Christmas Carol

Brought to you by

Dogg Day Afternoon

Featuring Mac as The Scrooge



















Copyright © 2013 by Dogg Day Afternoon featuring Mac and SW Graphix  All rights reserved

Introduction





It was an unusually cold winter that year and the Christmas Season was in high gear. The hustle and bustle of the holiday season started while the warm days of summer were slowly ending. The Summer and Fall holidays were blurring into everything that surrounded what was typically only for the Christmas Season – the lights, the decorations, the food and the gifts.

And, with the change in the early Christmas focused busyness, the attitudes, moods and behavior of people changed as well. And as is the case, sometimes these changes are temporary; sometimes the changes become permanent and deeply engrained. When the changes are engrained the sights, sounds and smell of Christmas are associated with thoughts and emotions. These thoughts and emotions trigger changes in behavioral – sometimes good, sometimes bad. 

Now, I share this tale hoping that some unfortunate soul whose life is consumed with the busyness of the Christmas Season will find comfort in knowing that events and people truly can change..... for the better.

 

Section One



My story starts as we look in on one of the several offices that still have people working, on this cold Christmas Eve. Through the slightly frost covered window we see Bob Scratchet, struggling at his computer on the fifteenth floor. Bob works at the headquarters of Coolness Incorporated and is one of the hapless uncool employees of Mac, secretly known as The Scrooge.

Right now Bob has a problem. Bob wants to be home with his family enjoying what is supposed to be a joyous time of the year. But he knows that it’s more acceptable for everybody to work on Christmas Eve. It’s just the thing to do. Only someone who’s out of touch with trends would feel the need to be at home with their family. Now is the time to work some overtime in order to pay for all of the big, expensive gifts bought for Christmas. Some of those gifts were bought in the late part of summer. Society says that you show your family how much you care by showing them that you’re willing to work on Christmas Eve and even Christmas Day. No, from Mac’s point of view, what it really says is that you have gotten people some really big, expensive presents.

Bob doesn’t want to be seen as an outcast or anti-commercial. That would put him in league with Mac. And, he definitely doesn’t want to be singled out as a Mac the Scrooge disciple. With a small family and dreams of having a nice retirement someday, Bob always plays by the rules, takes no chances and causes no waves. Bob just wants to blend into the shadows and live quietly. But to his astonishment and dismay, he just never seems to get ahead. To some Bob is uncool but to others he seems wishy-washy. That’s because something inside Bob wants to embrace Mac’s coolness.

Now with Christmas a jingle bell away, Bob's mind was not on his work. Bob had been working for Mac for over ten years and had helped Coolness Inc. grow into the largest manufacturer of unique, individual customized apparel and accessories throughout the world. Bob considered the transition from 'Living Life Promotions' to the old Coolness Inc. and now the new Coolness Inc.



Mac took over the business, Coolness Incorporated when his longtime partner Jacob Snarely died. While Jacob had many friends, he was one of Mac's only friends. In his trendy, over-the-top way, Jacob would say that people just didn't understand Mac. “Mac's coolness – his individualism and uniqueness is too much for people to handle.” In the later years, the funny thing about Jacob and Mac's partnership was the degree to which they were so opposite. Jacob was a trendsetter and one of the ‘coolest’ commercially motivated characters that you’d ever meet. If it wasn’t trendy, Jacob had a way of making it trendy. If something didn’t buck the system the way Jacob liked it, he was sure to make it part of the cutting edge.

Mac on the other hand was the epitome and the embodiment of individualism. To Mac his individuality and ability to be himself, regardless of peer pressure and trends, was what he defined as coolness. He saw coolness – the ability to be unique despite the pressure to conform, an art form. Coolness is something a person has to continually work at, fight for and make part of their very life. Now days, there didn't seem to be much that could impress or excite Mac anymore unless it contributed to a person being uniquely themselves. Trendy, commercial and “in style” just didn’t move Mac.

But it had not always been like that. When they first met, Mac and Jacob were so similar that people thought that they were either brothers or at least close cousins. It seemed like they had known each other for years. They were so alike that they quickly became close friends and started a small company to promote a trendy, risky, commercially focused way of life.

Then something happened to Mac. No one really knows what, but he began to change. His focus changed and he became almost anti-commercial. Mac started embracing his unique sense of coolness, spreading coolness everywhere became his goal of life.

Once Jacob died, five years ago on Christmas Eve, the atmosphere and the focus of the company changed. The new Coolness Incorporated was born. Now with the balancing effect of Jacob's influence gone, the lack of trendy coolness made working for Mac almost unbearable for those who had a problem embracing the essence of his cool – which was most of his employees. But, Mac’s sense of fairness compelled him to pay his employees really well, so they stayed.

Everyone knew that the death of Jacob Snarley, Mac’s partner and friend still weighed heavily on him, especially at this time of year.

***

 

Section Two



At his desk, Bob's mind continued to wander, “I wonder if we're going to be able to work on Christmas with overtime pay?” Bob thought. “But, I really want to take some time off, even though it’s more acceptable to work so that I can give everyone spectacular gifts. Mac, the old Scrooge thinks that the "commercially motivated Christmas gift giving thing" is uncool.” Bob’s thoughts were conflicted.

Bob excitedly thought, “Maybe he'll give me a Christmas bonus. I've been working 65 hour weeks since the Christmas season started back in August” But just as soon as one thought left, Bob’s conflict sat in again with an opposite thought. “I would rather be at home with my family. Maybe my family would prefer me to be at home with them rather than giving them a bunch of expensive presents.” Bob’s thoughts swirled. “There's nothing like the holidays to remind you that you really are doing as bad as you think ” Bob lamented.

Suddenly a jolly voice comes from the other side of the slightly opened office door. The sound was like Santa Claus in the story “The Night Before Christmas.” It was a concerned, but happy voice; somewhat muffled as if it was coming from the depths of a blackened chimney. This had the effect of snapping Bob back to his work. In what is supposed to be the most festive time of the year, Mac The Scrooge was on the warpath. Somehow though, it’s a jolly sounding warpath.

"Bob!” the voice shouts. “It seems that there is not enough true coolness being spread this year!” There’s a slight hint of laughter in Mac’s voice. Then he continues, “By-the-way, are you wearing your Christmas shades, Bob…. umm?"

Fear grips Bob as he hears the question coming from the invisible voice beyond the door. At Coolness Inc., where the main business is creating and promoting coolness in all of its unique essence and form, the symbol of coolness for this Christmas season is the latest pair of Cool sunglasses.

"Oh.. I forgot my sunglasses, Mr. Mac." Bob quietly states.

"... shades, Bob, shades.” Mac laughs. “Bob, at this critical time of the year, when image and perception means so much, how can you not be wearing your shades?” Mac asks sarcastically. “Anyway I suppose you'll be wanting only part of the day off for Christmas?"

"If it won't be too much trouble, Mr. Mac?" Bob asked.

"Now, why would letting you have a partial day off.... with overtime pay... be too much trouble??? Let me guess, you do expect to get paid for the entire day, don't you? So you have a problem taking the entire day off, don’t you?" Mac continues. “Oh, don't answer. Anyway, come in here. I want to talk to you for a moment, before you run out and do more extravagant Christmas shopping on your break..!!!!"

Bob knew what was coming - the Christmas talk on true coolness and the real reason for this wonderful season. And he also knew that he wouldn't be able to get a partial day off work for Christmas. But, then again, at Coolness Inc. nobody would be getting a partial day off.

When Bob finally walked into the adjacent office where Mac sat behind a regular sized desk. Mac didn’t see a need for a large executive looking desk. Mac began. “Bob, do you know why Christmas should be cool and not commercially trendy?"

"Just what you've told me Mr. Mac." Bob answered.

"Well, apparently you still don't get it, do you? Well, let me go over it one more time. Indulge me one pleasure during this most frustrating time of the year." Mac said with a smile on his face.

And so Mac The Scrooge adjusted his shades, settled back into his chair and explained the difference between a regular Commercial Christmas and a Cool Christmas, once again; for Bob's fifth time.

Mac didn't mind taking time out of his busy schedule to talk to someone.. anyone about the need for coolness, true coolness. And for Mac, Christmas was one of the coolest times of the year. But the stranglehold that the big, expensive gift giving Christmas had on people, also made it one of the most infuriating times of the year.

Mac was showing no sign of ending even though the light of day was fading to the gray darkness of dusk. Bob became more anxious, having missed his break and was now ready to leave and get back to the real work of Christmas - shopping, decorating, eating and working!

"Bob, are you listening to me.???"

Yes Mr. Scrooge, uh, I mean Mr. Mac. It's just that it's getting late and I would like to get a few things done this evening to finish getting ready for Christmas."

And just as Mac was about to tell Bob that he could go, the door explodes open, almost knocking Bob out of his chair!

***

 

Section Three



Bouncing into the room, full of animated energy and enthusiasm is Gregor, the adopted nephew of Mac. Mac The Scrooge is Gregor's greatest hero and his biggest fan. The Gregor is a small funny looking creature. Some say he looks like a cross between a rat and dog.

Gregor in all of his enthusiastic energy tries to be cool and imitate Mac, which is why he has named himself, "The Gregor." But it seems that everything he does end up looking goofy and to most people, uncool.

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Mac! And Merry Christmas to you too Bob!"

"Oh Frazzle Snacks! I could only hope in my wildest dreams for a Merry Christmas.” Mac muttered. “Anyway, what are you doing here?" Mac asked.

"Why can't you seem to have a Merry Christmas, uncle?” The Gregor asked enthusiastically. You're the coolest person around. You have the coolest company around. And this is the time for peace on earth and good will toward men. So what's the problem; why can't you get into the Christmas spirit?

"Because people can't seem to understand the cool; especially the true coolness of Christmas.” Mac began.  “Why do people buy presents to give to other people in hope of getting something . anything in return? Why do people wait until this time of the year to act like they're cool without understanding and embracing the coolness throughout the year? Yes, I say frazzle snacks to the whole idea of this, this unccool Christmas season!” Then speaking to no one and everyone, Mac shouts, “You can leave; you fake Christmas cheer! Leave me and let me have my Cool Christmas!”

Then looking at Bob he states, “You can leave too. Have a good time with your merry making and lack of true coolness. But I expect to see you late at your desk the day after.”

As Bob started walking out of the office, Mac made one last attempt at helping him to accept the coolness of the season. “On the way out, get rid of those new ad agency salesmen. Give them a business card and tell them to go home and enjoy their holiday with family and friends and call back in two days!”

Bob looked horrified. “What they’re doing is not cool and helping them out is the least you can do for wanting to work a partial day.” Mac continued.

Jumping in between Mac and Bob, The Gregor put his arms around their shoulders and squeezed them both shouting out another 'Merry Christmas' and this time adding in a 'Happy New Year.” The Gregor now walked with Bob as he resumed his exit from Mac’s office.

Bob thought about how much time had passed. When he went into Mac’s office, it right before his break. Now it’s quitting time and not much was done

  And so, with Bob Scratchet and The Gregor gone, Mac closed the office door, started packing up and went home to think about the festivities of the next day - Christmas Day!

***

 

Section Four



As Mac approached his house, he noticed that there was a green eerie glow that seems to be moving all around it. The closer he got the more the glow seemed to change into shapes.... shapes of people.

“The light is playing with my eyes. I must be more tired than I thought” Mac thought

After closing his eyes hard several times and shaking his head, trying to clear his mind, Mac puts his key into the lock and turned the doorknob. Fully intending to march straight into his house, eat and go to bed, Mac faces a strange and disheartening change in his circumstances. Suddenly a harsh quiet and an icy chill fills the house when Mac closes the door. But before Mac can remove his hand from the doorknob the door melts away. Once completely dissolved the face of Jacob Snarley is revealed.                                                   

Mac backs away, takes off his shades and looks around. He sees nothing out of the ordinary. When he looks back at the door everything is normal. Concluding that there was something wrong with the double big burger meal he ate at lunch, he assumes that it has given him a bad case of something really uncool.

Once in the house, Mac makes some tea to settle his stomach and calm his nerves; an upset stomach and nervousness tends to make a person uncool. As Mac thinks over his feelings and strange sights that he's trying to dismiss, he decides that he must write a book on how to maintain your cool.

Mac started dozing off. He quickly woke up when he heard the sound of chains. They became louder and louder, as if they were coming right into his room and then the sound of a voice….

"Mac....." it said. This was immediately followed by the sound of the tea kettle.

Preparing to get up and get his tea, Mac noticed that there was already a cup of hot tea on the table next to him. 'That's weird he thought' and took a sip. It was perfect, just like he liked it. No,  it was too perfect. He realized that he was out of lemons and had forgotten to pick up some on his way home. But, this tea had a lemon wedge in it.

He looked closer and noticed that the lemon wedge was cut the way Jacob usually cut lemons. Shaking his head, hoping to shake the strange feeling that was coming back over him, he picked up the cup of tea again and this time the face of Jacob Snarley was smiling at him from inside the cup.

As cool as cool could be, Mac put the cup down and slowly stood up. Turning to leave the room he came face-to-face with a withered and weather beaten likeness of Jacob Snarley. It looked as if this image of Jacob wasn't sure if he wanted to be here or there, wherever there was. He seemed to be a mist and then a solid and then a mist again, and then a solid again.

Finally he laughed. It was a horrible, unearthly laugh and now he was completely solid, although slightly transparent in places. The mist was still coming from his body like the steam of a hot piece of metal being put into cold water.

Jacob sat down across from the chair that a moment earlier was occupied by Mac. And in a very casual, but shaky voice, Jacob called to Mac. "Mac, come sit and talk with me awhile. Since I only have a short time to talk with you."

"You are a figment of my imagination, you Jacob look alike! My friend Jacob Snarley died and who or what you are I don't know. So why should I sit and talk with you?" Mac countered

The mist that was still coming from Jacob suddenly changed into flames  with flames shooting out from his mouth as he spoke. "Well Mac, you should sit and talk with me because it would be rude not to. I'm a guest, even though an all-be-it, uninvited guest in your house. And because I said so, you overly cool weasel.  Now sit down!"

And without any act of movement on his part, Mac found himself seated and looking directly at the ghostly figure of Jacob. "Only Jacob ever called me that. Okay, who are you and what do you want? Why do you have the features of my friend Jacob Snarley?"

"In life I was your friend Jacob Snarley. Now in death, I am but a shadow of what he was and what he could have been. I am here Mac, to try to help you. I should have listened to you. I am now suffering; going throughout the earth, bound in chains and with no way to help anyone."

"You seemed to be alright while you were here on earth. You were a good businessman, commercially focus like everyone else. So, you were a little uncool most of the time. What did you do that makes you suffer like this?" Mac asked.

"I didn't do what I knew I should have done. I was afraid Mac; afraid and now I'm paying the price. I was scared to be myself. It was safe to be what you considered uncool. It is a price that I don't want you to have pay. You have to stay strong, Mac. I’m here to let you know that you will be visited by three spirits. The first hour you will be visited by the spirit of Christmas Past, the second hour you will be visited by the spirit of Christmas Present and the third hour you will be visited by the spirit of Christmas Future.” Jacob’s ghostly voice started strong, but at the end of his explanation it started trailing off to almost a whisper.

Mac’s eyes were getting heavy. When Jacob’s ghost continued, Mac immediately woke up.

“Mac, you will be told that you must give up the ways of coolness or you will be lost forever.” Jacob continued. In life, I was afraid to be myself, to be different and I was afraid tell you that. To cover up my fear I really went after the big commercial markets. I just played it safe and trendy. ‘Give up your cool ways and learn to live.’ This is what the three spirits will tell you. But, stand your ground Mac, my friend or you will be lost… just like them… just like me…." Jacob’s voice trailed off again.

"Jacob, I don't know what you're talking about. I don’t want or need these spirits to come to me. You're my guy and all, but coolness is an art form; a way of life. I don't have anything to be afraid of. No, come to think of it, I am afraid of something. I'm afraid of a world without coolness. I'm afraid of something happening and all of my work in spreading coolne....."

"Be quiet weasel! You will be visited tonight by The Three Spirits of Christmas!” Jacob shouted. “They will test you. They will tempt you. But, they will be your only hope of escaping the chains that I wear plus so many more. If you fail your chains will be heavier because of your years of practicing coolness. Remember, expect the first one at one o'clock, expect the second at two o'clock and expect the third at three o'clock.

I must leave you now. Don’t fear, Mac. Embrace the change that needs to be. It will be slow. It will be hard, but don’t give up...... You will see me no more.... Good bye Mac, my friend.... you overly cool weasel....."

Enveloped in quiet again, Mac looked around and tried to convince himself that he had fallen asleep and was having a bad dream, brought on by a bad meal. Looking down, he saw the tea cup and an uncharacteristic shiver went through Mac’s body. Mac shook it off, turned on the television, started watching a recorded football game and then fell asleep.....

***

 

Section Five



Spirit of Christmas Past

The sound of an alarm clock shocked Mac out of a deep and fitful sleep. Looking around Mac notices that there is a light on in the kitchen. He looks at the clock and sees that it is one o'clock. Then he remembers that he doesn't have an alarm clock; those who embrace the cool don't need an alarm to meet the morning. He gets up and goes to the kitchen where he hears sounds. It sounds like people preparing a meal – pots and utensils clanging, doors opening and closing and people talking!

When Mac gets to the door, he stops and it takes a visible effort to maintain his cool. In his kitchen are several ghost-like forms going in and out of his cabinets, oven and refrigerator. The forms look as if they are trying to cook things in the oven, on top of the stove and in the microwave. Then in one simultaneous motion all the forms stop and turn to Mac and exclaim, "Good morning Mac, glad that you could finally make it!" a voice boomed.

"Who are you all and what are you doing in my kitchen?" Mac asked, trying not to sound shaky.

"I'm the spirit Christmas past. And why do you say "you all" as if there is more than just me here?"

"Because there are several people in here, that's why," Mac says slightly irritated responding to the condescending tone of the spirit. Looking around again, Mac only sees one figure.

"What you saw and heard were the sights and sounds of the past…. Christmas past .... your past, Mac. Come over here and sit. Let's have some tea and talk."

"What do we have to talk about?" Mac asked

"First we sit and have tea. Then we'll talk." The spirit now said in a more commanding voice. Looking like a big Saint Bernard, the commanding voice sounded almost fatherly.

With his coolness now firmly intact, Mac moves in, sits at the kitchen table and takes the cup of tea from the spirit of Christmas past. And as soon as he does, a tingle runs throughout Mac's body and he finds himself in the old office of 'Living Life Promotions', the company before it became 'Coolness Inc.'

"This is my company before it became cool. Why have you brought me here and shown this?" now asked excitedly.

"Notice that everyone is having a good time? Notice that everyone is trendy and have the latest things that are offered?" The spirit starts.

"Yes and that's why things had to change. That's all we ever did; we just went after the safe, the trendy, the commercial. No adventure, no risks, no real challenges. We just lived. There is no coolness to be found."

The spirit continued excitedly, "True; There is no cool, no true uniqueness, just the good life. Let's drink to living the good life."

“I’m not going to drink to that.” As he finished speaking, Mac now found that there was a cup of liquid in his hand. The tingle flowed through him again. Mac now found himself outside the apartment of his friend and then soon to be fiancée, Ms. Beaglesby.

He notices a younger Mac leaving the apartment, shaking his head. Then turning to the spirit, he spits out.... "Okay spirit, why couldn't she embrace the new found sense of coolness that I presented to her? Why wasn't she willing to take a chance with me after I found the cool? Was it that she only wanted me as long as I was trendy, didn't take any risks and didn't buck the system, is that it?"

Maybe you were the one who needed to change back to the way you were. Then without another word, the spirit of Christmas past, lowers his head, looks back up and raises his cup. Mac finds himself back at the kitchen table.

From nowhere and everywhere the voice of the spirit of Christmas past says sternly, "Didn’t you learn anything Mac? Didn't you see that your 'coolness' changed you and the way that you related to those around you? Search yourself Mac and see if you can find what you're afraid of. Look at what you're missing. It’s you Mac, it’s you!"

***

 

Spirit of Christmas Present

Suddenly, the sound of the alarm clock rang again. Mac looked at the clock that hung on the wall and it showed two o'clock. Then everything shook like an earth quake and when it stopped the clock showed two o'clock. Now sitting next to him was another .... spirit.

Unlike the previous spirit that looked and was dressed more casual, this spirit was dressed formally, looking like a butler in a suit and well cropped hair. Even the beaglely floppy ears were in place and didn’t take away from the polished look. This spirit had a strange light that seemed to come from its translucent skin.

"You must be the spirit of Christmas.... present.... right?" Mac asked, sounding a little sarcastic.

"Yes, you are correct, Mr. Mac." The spirit answered formally and without a hint of emotion.

"Just Mac is fine, spirit. You can leave off the mister part." Mac followed up.

"As you wish, Mr. Mac. I see that you already have a glass of wine. Would you like for me to refill it, sir?"

It wasn't until then that Mac noticed that the tea cup had turned into a glass of wine.

"Uh... no, that's not necessary. So, where are we going?"

"Going, sir? We're not going anywhere." The spirit of Christmas Present was the total English Gentleman’s Gentleman.

And at the raise of a glass, the kitchen was transformed into a type of three dimensional movie theater.

Walking in front of him was Bob Scratchet and his family. They seemed to be heading toward a very large, chaotically decorated Christmas tree. Each of his children was trying to bring attention to the part of the tree that they helped to decorate. Everyone was excited! This scene was totally cool Mac thought.

"So now I know why the tree has no order in the decoration arrangement." Mac joked. “This is one of the coolest trees that I’ve seen in a long time!”

Without cracking a smile or even acknowledging the joke, the spirit somberly asks, "Mr. Mac, do you see that they are having a good time? Just think how much more fun that they could be having if they decorated the tree in a more acceptable manner, sir! Imagine the joy of a more traditionally trendy Christmas tree that has designer decorations, arranged in a more theme based set up. A Christmas celebration that gets away from the form of coolness that you've tried to bring to them would be much better for them, don’t you think, Sir?”

"What I do see is a family having fun without the pretense of falseness and the need to blend in. They are being themselves…. including the children who are most often influenced by the crowd. Now do you see how much better off they are with just this amount of coolness in their Christmas?" Mac exclaimed.

"Sir, I must point out the most degrading way that everybody is opening their gifts. They seem to be more excited about other people opening their gifts than they do about their own. If there were no gifts they seem like they would still be happy? They need to be more excited about how expensive the gifts are. That’s what is more in keeping with this festive season, Sir!” The spirit of Christmas Present explained.

Mac was having a hard time believing what he was hearing. He could feel the subtle pressure that the spirit was putting on him.

"Sir, as you know, a real Christmas centers around the decorated tree, gift giving and most importantly, gift getting." The spirit continued.

Your real Christmas is not based on the true meaning of Christmas! And with that I rest my case!" Mac said with a sense of finality. Without paying attention to what he was doing, Mac raises his wine glass in triumph, forgetting that in doing so, scenes seems to change.

Mac now finds himself looking in on the Christmas celebration of his nephew, The Gregor.

The Gregor is wearing his shades and running around wrapping his last few presents, while friends and family are coming in laughing and enjoying the food and the conversation that is circulating around the small group. When Gregor finally comes in, the group look at him strangely and then to each other, finally bursting into laughter.

"Why on earth do you have on those sunglasses?" One voice states.

"Are you trying to be cool? Oh yeah, I forgot, you are 'The Gregor'. This is no time to be cool." Another voice piped in from the group.

"Yeah, this is Christmas. Let your uncle Mac handle the coolness department." 

"Right, your uncle Mac thinks he's so cool. I bet he's missing out on Christmas. Now come on and let's open our presents."

The sarcasm and laughter continued.

"Yeah, I want to see want you extravagant people got me this year..." The Gregor joked.

The Gregor seems to vanish into the background as his guests tear through the gift wrapping, not giving a thought nor care about what he was really trying to do with his Christmas celebration.

"So, spirit, you wanted me to see my nephew humiliated and talked about by the people he calls friends and family. All they care about is celebrating a regular Christmas full of the pretentiousness.” Mac said as his anger rose.

The smile that crossed the face of the spirit of Christmas Present had a slight sense of victory.

“Did you hear them? All they wanted to do was open presents and see what they got. It's more like Halloween with wrapping paper than a celebration of the gift of life!" Mac started.

"Mr. Mac, sir…don't you see the fun that everyone is having with getting their gifts? The conversation is lively, the gifts are expensive and the food is good! Sir, you should try some of the food by the way." answered the spirit of Christmas Present.

"I've seen enough. Take me back. I'm through, take me back spirit. This is ridiculous." Mac said.

And with the raising of the spirit's hand, Mac finds that the kitchen and his kitchen table is normal again.

Spirit of Christmas Future

Looking at the clock, Mac sees that it is almost time for the third and final spirit. "I guess I should get ready for the third spirit. I wonder what idiocy I'm going to have to endure this time."

The alarm clock rings and everything is plunged into darkness. Mac looks around and somehow in the darkness he sees a shadow. It’s a thin, muscular Doberman looking spirit veiled in a hooded robe.

"Good evening Mac. The future is waiting." The deep bass voice of the spirit calls out from the darkness. But Mac suddenly realizes that the voice isn't actually audible, it's all inside his head. The next thing Mac knows is that he feels himself being lifted out of his chair. Then there is the sensation of falling.

When he finally stops falling, Mac finds himself in a company board meeting.

"All in favor of changing the name of the company back to 'Living Life Promotions' say aye.

"Aye… Aye…. Aye…. Aye...."

"The ayes have it, 'Coolness Incorporated' will hereby be known as 'Living Life Promotions'.” A large man sitting in an even larger chair seemed to be in charge. He was positioned at the head of a large shiny, hardwood table. Seated around the table were several other people all dressed in business suits. “The next order of business is to choose the new president and CEO.” The big man continued. "There’s this Gregor guy. He's been telling everyone that he is Mac's nephew."

“If he is actually Mr. Mac’s nephew, based on the bylaws…” another man sitting to the chimed in. “He is to be given the position of president and CEO.”

"Well, we have to find somebody else. This Gregor is obviously some sort of lunatic and Mac devotee. He’s running around all day in sun glasses." The man concluded.

"Well, I would nominate Bob Scratchet, if we can find a loophole" Said a woman sitting on the other side of the big man.

"All those in favor, say aye...." Again, there was an overwhelming supply of those in agreement.

As the sights and sounds of the board meeting fades to blackness, Mac is furious and completely dumbfounded. When the blackness fades, Mac now finds himself outside in a cemetery. He is standing at a graveside funeral. Mac looks at the spirit shadow and asks, “Who it is that's being buried?”

The spirit points and Mac looks around. Seeing some of the same friends and family that was at The Gregor's Christmas celebration and in the board room, Mac asks, "Why did Gregor have to die. He was young? He was one of the people who tried to be cool, tried to be uniquely himself. He tried to spread coolness - in his commercially oriented sort of way. Why him?" Mac cries! “Why him?”

In the darkness, the shadow continues to point. He mentally pushes Mac toward the headstone.

Shaken but still maintaining his cool, Mac walks to the burial site and sees The Gregor kneeling. Slightly confused, Mac walks over to the headstone. The reading on the headstone is too much even for Mac. The headstone reads;

'Here lies Mac and the end of his coolness'

It is his headstone and it is himself who is being lowered into the ground.

"Okay spirit. I understand. No one wants coolness. No one understands coolness.” Mac exclaimed. “I understand what I have to do. Since this is the future, I can change this right? These are just things that might be, right?” Mac asked in what could almost be termed desperation….. almost.

As the spirit walks deeper into the darkness, Mac hears the voice say, "Good bye Mac. Coolness is not an art form."

"Say something” Mac thought to himself. “Say something...." But, before he can think of anything to say Mac finds himself back in the kitchen, sweating.

"Was this just a bad dream? Maybe I fell asleep while drinking my tea." Mac looks down and sees the piece of lemon and realizes that it was not a dream.

Mac thought to himself, "I have to change some things. Is there enough time? People have to know that change is possible. “Ha, ha… franzle snacks!” Mac exclaims. “No one can ever attain ultimate coolness. Coolness changes, it grows, it develops! Ha,ha! It's still Christmas. I'll show them the coolness of Christmas."

***

 

Section Six



A lightheaded and giddy Mac, washed and dressed. Getting in his car he goes to the Coolness Inc factory. In a whirlwind of activity Mac produces a completely new product line and when he finishes, he loads the car with the new Coolness Inc. items. Mac then drives throughout the city, dropping off Coolness Inc presents on the doorsteps of every employee's house. At Bob Scratchet's house, he drops off not only the new Coolness Inc items, but an envelope with Bob's Christmas bonus.

Arriving back home, Mac lies down for a quick nap. It wasn't a fitful sleep this time, but when he wakes up, Mac finds that he is strangely rested and still a little excited. Looking at the clock he finds that he still has time to make it to The Gregor's Christmas party.

When the door opened, the shocked expressions on everyone's faces told Mac that he was definitely in the right place, doing the right thing. Mac explained why he was there, knowing that he had a captive audience.

As the night wore on, The Gregor’s guests notices that none of the presents have been open. Everyone was having such a great time just being with each other that getting and opening presents was no longer the main part of Christmas. The Gregor was in a state of shock. “Getting together and being themselves on Christmas was really cool!” The Gregor thought.

When the presents were finally opened, there was a different attitude. It was one of genuine thankfulness and sincerity. No one wanted to leave The Gregor's house that night.... and no one laughed at the idea of coolness and celebrating a unique, traditional untrendy, uncommercial Christmas.

***

 

Section Seven



Early the next morning Mac is looking busy at his desk when Bob Scratchet drags himself in.

"Bob, I see that you're late, again. Didn't you assure me that you were going to be early today?" Mac asks.

"Yes, I did Mr. Mac. I'm very sorry. Someone left a lot of gifts on our doorstep and even left an envelope with money in it. So our celebration lasted longer than we expected." At first I thought somebody was playing a joke on me giving me Coolness Inc. items for Christmas, but I never saw those items before.

"So, what did you do, Bob? How did you celebrate Christmas?"

Bob was stunned by the smooth sincerity in Mac's voice; it was as if he had become cooler. Bob continued, "After we opened the surprise gifts, we mostly sat around and talked. We just enjoyed our time together. It was like time stood still so that we could relax with each other. It was really strange. We weren't running around trying to get into the gifts to see what we got. We were all excited to see what everyone else got. It was really.... uh…cool."

"I'm glad to hear that. I guess you'll still want a bonus for all the long hours that you've been putting in?"

"With the money that was in the envelope yesterday, I'm fine but thank you anyway."

"Bob, you've changed."

"Yes, Mr. Mac, I think I have. I don't know what happened, but yes I have."

"I know that you've always wanted to be able to retire quietly someday, but how would you like to be a partner of Coolness Inc.?"

"I don't know. What would I do? I'm not cool, I don't think I would even know how to be cool. Right now I feel cool, but will it wear off?"

"Don't worry about it. We'll help you get where you need to be. And, call me Mac."

"Who is we?" Bob asked.

And if on cue, The Gregor burst into the office.

"Good morning Uncle Mac. And a very good morning to you too, Bob.” The Gregor said excitedly. “Bob, you look like the Cheshire cat. What's going on, what's the big grin for?"

"Mr. Mac… uh Mac, just made me a partner of Coolness Inc."

"Congratulations. It took long enough." The Gregor said, shooting a look at Mac.

"Gregor, you're not getting off so easy.” Mac said. “You are now a partner as well and you're in charge of training and making sure that Bob knows everything about being cool and running a cool business – a business based on customization, uniqueness and letting clients and customers know that they’re an important part of our business."

"And what about you uncle, what are you going to do?" The Gregor asked

"I'm going to relax, learn and grow in coolness and think about ways to spread coolness. You youngsters can handle the business." Mac said smiling from ear to ear.

***

From that time on, it was said that Mac, who was already cool became even cooler. And, coolness spread faster and farther after that Christmas. The regular commercial Christmas with its emphasis on getting became a distant memory for the employees of Coolness Inc.

And sometimes at night on Christmas Eve, if you listen closely you can hear the spirits saying:

"Mac was right! Coolness is really the way to go."

It’s also been said by some who has heard the story, “Wow, Mac must really be cool. He even taught the spirits to be cool!"

Now this is the end of this tale, but not of coolness...

All year long make people more important than gifts that you give and much more than the gifts that you get. Now admit it, you probably feel cool just thinking about that, don't you?



Have A Very Merry Christmas!