My last memories

Here I am again, sitting in this dark and cold room on this bed, which will either be a way to survive, or my last station in life. My mother is sitting on a chair next to me. Pain and grief shove her. Yes, I can see tears sliding down her cheeks, off her mask, which is taking shape on her face while she looks at me. What it is difficult to see the most person you love in this life is collapsing in front of you, I know she feels the pain burn her all day and night because she cannot do anything for me, and I think at the moment of indignation she wished if she were not a doctor , cure all patients and here she is today watching the most important patients and cant do anything, how I wish her to know that the guilt is not her fault and this is my destiny .

Yes my life become sadness. compassion haunt me from everywhere, pain penetrates all my body, sometimes I wish I could run away to a world where I am alone, away from all this, yes, I'm tired and I collapsed.

My name is Adam. I am nineteen years old . I am the only son of my family which is well off , my dad is engineer and my mother is a doctor, they consider me everything in their lives and they do whatever i ask , yes I admit I've been spoiled boy for these wonderful people, so i thank God every day for their existence in my life, they made from me a successful person. I am a student in the College of Engineering Department of Aerospace Engineering, since my childhood I loved everything about planes and fly high in the sky, I always brought kites and see it fly away, it was my dream to become a pilot, but now I think it has become much smaller and does not exceed a few steps outside this room.

I feel like It was yesterday when I visited the doctor for the first time and he began to question me about this dreaded headache which accompanied me for so long time and became my companion that I share with him all my secrets. I Feel that it was yesterday when he threw me by one of his sermons, which has long speech in the face of his victims: "my son life as you know is a test, there are those who get stuck in poverty and there are those who inflicted , and some loss the people they loves , and some inflicted with the disease"
At that moment I could not control myself and I said: What is my problem?
- Do not be afraid, my dear whatever is the disease, medicine has evolved and, God willing, will be addressed
- And then I asked him in a tone of fear and sadness: What is the illness??
-He told me: brain cancer, but do not worries a large proportion of patients have treated

At that moment, I no longer heard what he said, suddenly it passed in front of me my life bar quickly i saw my childhood, I saw my parents take me to the school, I saw my friends, I saw my first kite flying away. I saw myself flew in the sky towards the unknown. I do not remember what happened after that, but I woke up to find myself on a bed in the hospital and my family collapsing on front of me .

After several days i surrendered to the inevitable and started taking chemotherapy, continued treatment for three months, but my case did not improve. it got worse because of my bad luck my disease was discovered late, and it dominated all over my body, I become anemic, weak, lost my appetite for food, and my headache become like the knives that stormed my brain, sometimes without sense of feeling i scream out in pain, I lost all my strength and my life became like hell. Despair controlled me , I felt that i have a few days to spend. I do not know why I got Sometimes feel like I exist and does not exist.

I Became act strength and stability in front of my parents i do not know what will happen to them if they lost me. yes the mask has fallen from my mother face and the rocking chair which my father sitting on it for a long time has stopped .
They were doing everything the could to save me, and they decided to taking me for treatment outside the country, but I refused and firmly told them that I want to spend the rest days of my life with them and with my friends in my country, I know that there is no point of treatment. Sometimes At night i cannot sleep and sometimes I cried like a baby. i do not know why is it fear! is it guilt! or because of the pain. I really do not know.

One night while I'm in the hospital i came out slightly into the corridor, I felt that I smothered from this room. I sat on one of the chairs to see people. There were a lot of patients of children and adults and elders but what really attracted me in them that the hope was painted on their faces. And what attracted me the most is a small child does not exceed two years old and the manifestations of the disease are phenomenon in his little face, but he did not cry, he was playing with the people. I could not withhold my tears that I do not know its tear of hope, compassion or kindness. After a moments, I heard a soft voice near me : Why are you crying, do not cry please
I turned to find a young girl does not exceed a five-year-old she was looks like an angel. Beauty does not disappear behind her disease or behind the fall of all her hair. I could see the glitter of hope when I looked into her big and bright eyes.
I wiped all my tears and smiled the biggest smile I could I make
And I told her: I'm sorry I will not cry again. What's your name, my dear?
- Linda and you?
- Adam
She Said innocently: do you promise me not to cry again?
- I smiled with all my heart and I said: Yes


For a long time I have wished to have a brother or sister. And now I have the best sister.. Every day I was sitting with her in the corridor of the hospital . she was telling me a pretty childish stories .I also bought a book of children stories, and read to her a story every day. whenever I talk to her I feel I have become smaller ten years and I completely forget my illness.


How stupid I was, when I allowed despair to consume me . How stupid I was, when I lost all my hope. Yes, she has returned me real life. I am no longer care if I had a day, a week or a month to live. I decided to fulfill my dream. I called a friend of mine whose father worked as a military aviation pilot, and asked him to take me to fly in the helicopter with his father and he did not refused my request. The next day I was ready to achieve my dream. My mother was afraid of this trip, but I said to her:"My dear Mom, the disease has stolen everything from me, but I will never let it stop me from achieving my dream."
Yes, I flew high in the sky and achieved my dream. This moment was the happiest moment in my life. I felt that I resisted satisfactorily, I felt that life sprung up in my body again.