The secret of being in shape |
(un)Fitness As I showered one bright morning, my wife said, “Would you look at that?” Unsure of her meaning, I looked down but I couldn’t see past the fat. It had been a while since I worked out. My motivation was quite clear. Time had taken me on a route leading downwards, landing me here. “Back into shape!” was my promise that I made on that exact spot. The very next day I proceeded to Gold’s Gym with no further thought. “Let’s get physical, physical ..” Olivia sang in my brain. It seemed to me empirical that without pain, there’d be no gain. A fellow with muscles galore grabbed me as I entered the gym. “You need a coach to get started or you’ll end up looking quite grim.” We worked on my abs for an hour, then legs, arms, and back for a bit to a point where I couldn’t move. Still, he wouldn’t just let me quit. “What are you some kind of wussy?” All I could do was nod yes. There were no muscles untouched and all were in pain, I confess. He turned his attention elsewhere and I slithered out of the door. Now mind you, I would gladly walk but even my feet were too sore. Somehow I did make it home. My wife asked, “So, was it fun?” She purred, “You look better already.” I quit trying to dial nine-one-one. I discovered the secret of fitness and it’s something that I should have known. Only make love in the dark … and always shower alone. An entry for September round of "The Humorous Poetry Contest" Form: Quatrain Line Count: 40 |