Complaint letter from an old Tree

Complaints of an old Tree


Ladies and gentlemen!

I have been serving this neighbourhood for 80 years now.
Though no one seems to notice me. I am fine. I know I will do my duty along side this pavement to provide shades and be good looking for the city.

My purpose today is to put up 2 complaints. The first complaint is mine. Is not so harsh complaint. Just a "kind" reminder to the passer by.
The second complaint is on behalf of my friends. Please take this complaint seriously. In this second complaint, you will also find yourself gaining some words of wisdom and "advice" from us and from me.

First,
Please do not do your private business on me.
In the past, I didn't complaint. But now I have to. You are killing my healthy sun tanned skin.
With you eating unhealthy food with lots of fatty acids, artificial flavourings and additives. The outcome of your by product is deeply not appreciated.
Furthermore. We have park toilet. Having me as your shield for your private business along side of this road is unsightly. Non elegant. And you think no one knows what you are doing in the middle of the night.

Secondly,

If this part of the complaints sound a little too angry and offensive, please pardon us.
We do not meant to be rude here. Also if possible, parental guidance may be required. Not restricted.

Nowadays we always have to put up a sentence like this as a disclaimer of "no offense"
but we still want to voice it out.
Nevertheless. I am an old tree. I suppose you can give an old tree a slack.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Those friends of mine in the "old country" in which you call the rainforests on the other part of the world are dying needlessly. They have been tolerating and enduring. We trees have been providing for you, mankind, for ages.
Lodgings, food and shelter, you name it. We are almost found in every of your needs.
When you ask for more space to live, we silently make space for your "development" as you call it. We serve you so much and even provided the materials you need for your education.
Even your barter trade is using us now. No longer sea shells.
Your strongest nation is printing us out like no body's business.
We are glad that we can help, but with this nonsensical rate you are using us for your own greed?!
It is unacceptable. Unbearable to the extend.
We may become your worse enemy if you do not stop right away. We even have this thought building in our minds now;
"You burn us and we will burn a big wide hole in your pocket"
As you can see in your financial crisis.
We have words of wisdom for you;
"An eye for an eye"
We feel that if we do not put up this third most important complaint now, we will all be "blind"
So that's the message from my beloved friends.
Now
My words to you;
If I am ever elected as your president. I will knock your senses out with my stick.
We gives you oxygen in the day so that you can think straight. You give us back smoke from your burning of our little friends.
You never do us any good.
You think you can just convince the world that you will plant us back. But do you know how long we take to grow to be at a right age to serve?
Why don't you just take away our birth right from this planet?
We may have a rich history of 399 999 years. So what it takes for you to stop us? Is it your foolishness or your greed?
You must well just decide once and for all to chop us all down now
Break our solemn duty assigned from God to you
Then if you do...see if the Sun will seek our revenge on you.
Heard about global warming?
And God will not intercede for you. He will just allow balls of fire to come crashing down on you and extinct you once again like He has allowed it to happen to the dinosaurs.

I hope that you will pay attention to our complaints and act immediately!

Late? is not too late to repent

last but not least,
It is funny how we have provided for your educational needs. But your education has led you to find out coveted and creative ways to kill us.

Thank you
P/S act on it immediately...

Yours sincerely
Old tree