The Nothing I’ve Become

-The Nothing I’ve Become-
by
Keaton Foster



This soul
Deep does it go
Way down inside
To the core
Far from any surface
The light never comes
Only darkness finds a home
Saturated skin and bones
A diseased form of a disease
There is no known cure
There never was meant to be
The nothing I’ve become
Cannot be undone
Something will never fill
The emptiness of the space
In which I find my way
For every one of my days
I have managed to live like this
I was born of sin
And given over to flesh
The horrific abuse of my youth
Is continually happening
There is no forgetting something
Damn near impossible
They did what they did
Without question
Without regard for the likes of me
And what it would come to mean
I am alive, living, breathing
But really that is it
I have no capable emotion
I do not understand the needs of others
Empathy is something not missed
Because it is something never once had
I am as cold as the nothing found
The nothing I’ve become
I survive because I must
Purpose alone is what I believe in
How else could what have happened
Ever truly be explained
God above sacrifices many of lambs
In order to keep his flock in check
He doesn’t hate us he sacrifices
In fact I’d say without reserve
That he loves us most of all
The teacher always needs a student
Examples must be made
So that others know
If you ask me while I’m alive
I’d certainly say one thing
If you ask me when I’m dead
I no doubt would say something else
Such replies, both living and death
Will of course have to wait
Suitable answers always take time
Wisdom is a lifetime affair
The nothing I’ve become
Is just what I must deal with
And egotistically I must say
That I’d like to think that I
A man of very few resources
Have done quite well where others
Not as strong might have failed
Finding any kind of a way
In such a terrifying wilderness
Is always better than standing still
Learning coexistence with such
An at times over powering disease
Is really the only thing that I have
The nothing I’ve become is something
Because I fight to make it as much….


The Nothing I’ve Become
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2013