The Brink

The brink
There's an ocean
A deep blue one with all the works
I can't say where it is or where it goes even how I got here
I'm standing at the edge of the beach connected to the ocean
So close the waves splash against my feet frequently
It's warm but getting colder as it sways back and forth
I can't leave this beach I'm on either
It's grainy yet I feel more secure on it when the water is away I wish I could be on completely dry land
But when I back away the water follows me this beach seems endless
It almost consumed me today
I almost thought I'd have to swim away from the island for which I called my home for what seems like years
I thought it was so secure
I felt safe away from the sharks and the other fish in the sea
Times on the island were up and down
Some days I felt hopeless and thought I should give up
Others I felt like a king and this island was my treasure trove
It completed me
Kept my body soul and heart warm on the darkest coldest nights
Even when I thought others were going to invade my island it stood firm whispering in the winds "it's you and me against the world no one else"
Now , now it's different
The island is so much more hostile
It is dry barren the earth is always quaking
The food is scarce even more so the warmth and love it provided seems to be virtually non existent .
No consideration or even a little observation just making me feel unwanted
So I decided to leave this Gemini of an island
It and its tempestuous ways
But I can't find the means to do so
It always seems like when I am good and ready to swim away and try my luck with the wicked woeful wild seas
It always seems to look more hospitable and I think oh it's ok I can live here again I don't need to go
It's just a ploy
The island is alive
It's toys with me
My emotions
My mind
My heart
In lieu of sounding foolish
Albeit insane I love this island
But now I'm constantly finding myself on the beach
On the brink of swimming away with no looking back
Looking for life ahead .