The Pact

{Please understand the fact is a hand written letter in the middle of a battle zone. Perfection is not the effect I desired. I wanted it to seem as real as possible}




Baby

First of all I need to tell you how much I love you Kathy.
Don't ever forget me or the way I loved you.

I lost BJ today.  We were the point men on the paddy patrol and the firing started. He took a shell and he fell down. Then I fell down on him and dragged him off the dike.

I yelled medic.
BJ was is horrible pain and couldn't speak.
I yelled medic again.

He came and said he took a shell in the main artery of his leg.  The medic yelled at the radio operator and said to call for support. I looked at the medic straight in the eyes and he shook his head. I knew what that meant.

After the support showed up and made them scatter, I picked up BJ and carried him the 200 yards to the tree line.

Baby as God is my witness, I held him and watch the life flow out of his eyes.  I talked to him and then said goodbye but he was already gone.
I was so angry then and wondered why him and not me.
He has a wife and little baby girl. I just don't understand.

I hope this thought doesn't hurt you because I said him instead of me. I want to be home with you so bad. This place makes you crazy.

Never any rest and always on guard.
We are nothing but sitting ducks out here in the middle of the grass.

They hide and we walk.  The they bump us off one by one.

I know I told you about BJ before. He was my best buddy here. We shared pictures of our wives and he showed me his little baby girl.

We made a pact; that if either one of us doesn't make it back, the other would help take care of his family.
Sweetheart, I have to help his wife and baby when I get home. His wife's name is Sarah and the baby is Susan.

I knew he would take care of you my darling if I didn't make it.  You know that is the only thing that kept me going was knowing that.  Now I am so scared for you and how you will make it without me.

The people back home won't help. They talk bad about us all the time.  Believe me darling, none of it is true.

You wont get this letter for about two week from now. Time doesn't mean anything here.
By the time you get this, the military will have already told Sarah about his death.

We will have a small ceremony for him and the others back at camp. The battlefield cross is all we can do to show honor and respect.

God, baby, I am trying so hard to keep things together but inside I am numb.  It is almost like I  don't remember how to live anymore only how to survive.

We were going to get together and go fishin.  We talked about moving so our families would be close.

I know this letter is so full of scattered thoughts but right now I can't think straight.

Tomorrow will be more death and more choppers carrying our guys away.

You know what, I don't want to think about tomorrow anymore.  Tomorrow doesn't exist. If you are able to live this minute then that's all you have. Just this minute.

There is a load explosion and the mud and water is everywhere.

Some got on my letter but I can't help that. I gotta go baby.

With this minute my darling Kathy I will tell you again I love you.

For now right now pray for me.

Mike
 
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