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Inside my head. |
1999 By Nana Aforo As they rolled me down the hallway neon lights passed over me quickly, one of the doctors looked down and said to me, “You'll be ok, we'll make you better, stronger, faster. Just relax, let us work. You'll be fine; it will only seem like a moment passed.” ...And so as vision recedes and everything fades to black, Slow. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 *Deep Breath*.................................... My son, I've been watching you for many years and I know your fears. Eyes hath not seen the writing on the walls in the rooms of my soul scrawled out like a mental patient as I wait patient. I was watching when lights were dim inside the home as you roamed landscape. I was watching when you felt like no one gave a shit. I was the twinkle in the eyes of those you looked to for solace and the promise of care and I was there when it left they turned their backs and their eyes went jet-black. Ears hath not heard the tunes that skulked around my skull since childhood and in my neighborhood nothing was ominous just present, just there. Tune is a spirit can you hear it, can you see him? In the doldrums between wake and dazed as though days passed but it's the morning; broken if you wake up mourning. You've seen him. But I ain't dead yet prior to genesis are you getting this; that's your brain going left but your wrong not right and what is right it's slight. My son you've already met me but you didn't realize it. I was the shadows in your head when you looked up at rainy windows in the night driving home. I was the cadence in the time of the season. See, I knew you remembered. Observing rain drop shapes and points of light in the car with my dad, I love my dad. I'm four years old going on five, going on six. You are unraveling enigma, attach it to a tree and swing elsewhere. My son look forward and know that the coast is clear. My son, I've been watching. Don't be afraid to jump high for fear you'll fall out the sky. Something higher than earth-based by-and-by. Walk on. Past aforementioned neon moments that pass now seem brighter. I'm fifteen going on sixteen, going on seventeen. Your dreams are so real that your valley is uncanny. Keep reading. If you have something to say then say it and spray it like fire and burn down your bullshit. Chasm in your idgasm misguided at first because the world is at your fingertips. My feet are dirty because I'm rooted in earth but I'm walking briskly. You're born naked not jaded so drag yourself up and be free minded. I'm at peace be with you my sister and brother. Oblivion is not a mind state it's a pair of glasses. I'm eighteen going on nineteen, going on twenty going on twenty-one. As I see myself in the mirror not inferior. Don't be insecure about your soul because what's truer? Intelligently moving casting purposeful isms into the pool of life is my ambition. I'm alive. My son, I see and I am glad. It's now. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. SNAP! Wake up! Welcome back Nana. |