(Undecided)

This had to be the longest trip I have ever taken with my family. Or so it seemed. My mother would not go over the speed limit, no matter where we were. My brother and I were sitting in the back seat while my parents were arguing about the next exit they had to take. “I’m telling you,” my dad started. “We take exit 47.”

“No, I’m pretty sure we take exit 48.” My mom always liked to be right about everything, even directions that would take us who knows where. I looked out my window to see nothing but highways and passing cars. We finally stopped at a rest stop to get directions. When I asked my brother if he wanted anything to eat, he ignored me and resumed to his game on his PS3. I took it out of his hands and asked again. He yelled to give it back but I refused. “Luke, you haven’t eaten since we left home, eight hours ago. Come on.”

“If I say Doritos, will you give it back?” I smiled and gave it back, getting out of the car. Luke was ten, which made me eight years younger than me.

         The hot sun hit me when I got out of the car. It smelled like horses and wet hay. It was the smell I always smell when we come visit Aunt Linda. I walked up to the snack machine right when a guy cut right in front of me. Being myself, I said something to him. “Excuse me, you just cut in front of me.” He turned to look me with my arms cross over my chest. He had a smirk on his face and leaned up against the machine. “Are you going to move” I asked when he didn’t speak.

“That depends.” I could feel him check me out as I looked away. I knew that feeling anywhere and was not pleased.

“You know, can we just cut the whole “you hitting on me and getting my number” type thing and please move. I have to go.” He threw up his hands and finally moved. I punched in the letter and number of the Doritos and walked away. My dad was standing against the car when I came down the steps. “What” I asked.

“Who was that guy you were talking to?”

“I don’t know Dad. A jerk most likely. He was trying to hit on me” I said opening the car door.

“Well” he started, opening his door. “Look at how you’re dressed.” He got in and closed the door. I stood there looking down at my clothes. The shirt I had on was white with a black skull and it showed my stomach. The black shorts I wore had one hole and was a little short and my black combat boots topped it all off. I rolled my eyes and got in the car. I tossed the Doritos to Luke but he didn’t seem to notice. I put my headphones on and blasted my music. My style was a little different, but that’s what I wanted. Everyone always told me how pretty I was because I was always tan and my hair was long and blonde. But nothing they ever say is true. They always say nice things because my mom and dad are both lawyers.

         We drove up into Aunt Linda’s driveway about two hours later. Aunt Linda owned half of Texas, so it wasn’t a surprise that she had a huge house. Linda greeted us on the front porch. She acted like she hasn’t seen us in years when she saw us over Christmas. Mom and Linda have always been close. Mom used to tell us stories of how grandma would say they even came out of the womb holding hands. “Hannah Bear!” I put my bags down and ran into her arms. She’s the only person I feel close to. “Hi Linda.”

“I’m so happy you guys could come! You get more prettier every time I see you sweet pea!” I smiled and grabbed my bags. I took them inside and up to my room while everyone was saying their hellos. Linda had changed the room since I last stayed here. She changed the wallpaper to a light blue color because she knew I didn’t like pink. I sat my bags on the bed and started to unpack when a voice spooked me from behind. “Hey Hannah.” I jumped to the sound of a familiar face. I didn’t hesitate to run right into his  arms and hug him. “Adam! Oh my gosh!” He picked me up and spun me around a couple times. Adam was my best friend whenever I would come stay here because everyone else was too old for me to hang out with. We met on Linda’s farm when I was about nine and he was ten. When he put me down, I could get a better look at his smile. “What you doing here” I bothered to ask.

“Linda said you were coming down for the summer, so I thought I’d come down too and surprise you.”

“Well you managed to surprise me alright. I haven’t seen you in two years since you moved. Are you staying here as well?” I saw the way his eyes light up and I could feel my smile getting bigger. I would say Adam was the first I ever fallen in love with.

“Yeah, right down the hall. Actually, I brought a friend of mine. Do you want to meet him?” He pointed to the room next to his and I saw the door was shut. I was expecting a dog or some type of animal he brought along. 

“Sure.” He walked down the hall as he complimented me on how grown up and pretty I’ve gotten. Naturally, I shoved him and he shoved me back.

         We got to the room and Adam knocked three times. “Hey man, it’s me. Open up. I have someone I want you to meet.” Obviously, it wasn’t any animal. When Adam opened the door, I saw a tall, tan, muscular, beach boy lying on the bed with headphones on. Adam walked over and pulled them off telling him to get up. I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to look everywhere but at him. “Hannah,” Adam said, taking my hand. “This is Sam.” I put on a smile and shook his hand. “Sam is my college roommate back in California. He wanted to come see what Texas was like.”

“Well by the way you’re dressed,” I said, looking at what he was wearing. Typical beach boy clothing: tight tank top and shorts that looked like swimming trunks. “It looks like your not adjusting very well.” He studied me as I stood there. Adam was watching the tension between us because he knew how big of a smart-ass I was.  Sam started walking towards me.

“And by the way you’re dressed,” he said, starting to walk around me in circles and close enough to where I could smell him. “You’re a girl trying to pull off a hard-ass act. But it’s not working on me.” I looked at him as he was leaned against my arm with his chest about to say something else when Adam split us up, saying it was time to go downstairs to meet everyone and eat lunch. I stood there as they walked down the stairs thinking of what just happened. “Did he just out bitch me” I asked to myself. I threw my hands up and walked downstairs.

         Linda cooked mine and Adam’s favorite lunch. It was called Han & Ad’s Special Treat. Our moms hated for us to eat it because we ate it too much as kids. It was basically grilled cheeses smothered in cheese and bacon bits, pizza rolls, and two scoops of ice creams with chocolate syrup. Everyone was talking to Sam and Adam about California and where they were going to college. Mom was bragging on how I got accepted into MUNY (Music University of New York) for dancing. “Mom, stop” I finally said. Everyone grew quiet and the smile on my mom’s face faded. Everyone’s eyes were on me. “Excuse me” I said getting up from the table. I walked out on the back deck and put my hands on the railing. From there, you could see nothing but open land with wild horses. It was the one place I would go when I needed time to get away or think. When I was eleven, I got so mad at my mom and went out into the field and just scream. It was pointless now that I look back at it, but at the moment it relieved a lot of anger. Adam showed up behind me shortly after I walked out. “Are you okay?” He knew he didn’t need to ask. He could see it on my face I wasn’t. When I didn’t answer, he asked me what happened to me dancing. I put my head down and turned around toward him. “About a year ago, I was auditioning for MUNY when I torn my ACL and broke my arm doing my routine. I guess I didn’t practice enough or didn’t stretch right.” By this point, I was holding back my tears. “I’ve been scared to try again because I messed up one of the biggest parts in my career. The only accepted me because they felt sorry.” Adam took me into his arms. I’ve never felt so comfortable in a long time, I never wanted to leave. Later, he told me he wanted to have a walk along the farm like we used to as kids. Adam worked at the feed store downtown and said he would get off at nine. I got changed into a summer dress and barefoot sandals and ran downstairs.

         I waited two hours before I finally gave up. Adam wasn’t going to show. I figured he probley clasped and fell asleep. I stood up and looked at the moon. It always looked beautiful over the mountains and the horses. “It’s beautiful.” That wasn’t Adam’s voice. “What are you doing here Sam?” He took a step closer and stood beside me. I looked at him waiting for an answer. “Well?”

“I wanted to see how the moon looked here in Texas.”

“Probley the same as it does in California.”  I started to walk away when he yelled “No.” When I walked back down to him, I asked him how it didn’t look the same. I had figured the moon looked the same in every spot because the moon never moved. Sam began his story about how it looked much bigger and brighter here in the South. Back in California, the moon was always little and dim because of all the lights. I was amazed about his stories about the moon. He seemed like a know-it-all and a pain in the ass, but now it seems that I was all wrong. We stood there for another hour before going inside. It was late and we had to get up at nine to go down to the County Carnival.

         I found Adam the next morning coming out of the bathroom on my way in. His face went blank as I walked past him. I could tell he was expecting a good morning from me, but I was not in the mood to say it to him. My shower lasts about 20 minutes. I realized I forgot to bring my clothes in and I could hear Sam and Adam talking in the hallway. “Great” I said to myself as I wrapped myself up in a towel. I took a breath when I unlocked the door. All I had on was a towel and my hair was drown and dripping. I took a step out into the hallway to find both boys starring at me. I tried to play it off as if I didn’t care. “What? It’s like you’ve never seen a girl in a towel before.” I walked through them still feeling their eyes on me as I closed my bedroom door.

         I never did anything special with my hair but I felt like tonight I should. Linda told us tonight was a big night for the family so I felt like the need to dress appropriate and not my usual wardrobe. I slid on a plain, silk white dress that flew in the wind when it blew. I haven’t worn it since my mom had bought it for me. I put my hair in a fish tale braid and put little white flowers all through it. I looked in the mirror before I slid on my flip flops. I looked like my mom when she was young and it showed.

“Oh baby!” Linda yelled when I started down the stairs. It made me laugh because she was taking pictures of everyone. My mom turned to look at me, but she waited till I got to the bottom to hug me and to tell me how beautiful I looked. I noticed Adam was dressed up as well. And surprisingly, so was Sam. Everyone was. “You look amazing” Adam said to me as we walked out to the car. I complimented him as well. “Oh my, not everyone can fit into my car. Adam, will you and Sam take your car” asked Linda.

“Yeah, we can do that. Han, you want to ride with us?” I looked over at Sam who nodded at me to get in the car.

“Yeah, sure” was my reply. I waved to my parents and said I’d see them there. The County Carnival was only 30 minutes away, but it felt like hours.

“So Han, want to hit up the roller coasters when we get there? Or are you too chicken like you were last time?” I punched Adam in the arm and laughed.

“I was not scared. I had eaten too much an hour before and didn’t want to puke.” To Sam, Adam said “I bet she won’t even go on any rides. She will probley be too scared to mess up that beautiful hair of hers.”  I was waiting for Sam to make a smart-ass comment but he didn’t. “I’m sure she’ll look cute either way.” My eyes narrowed to the ground. My stomach had sudden butterflies. I kept telling myself it was just a compliment because he didn’t want to sound like an ass on a special night. But at the same time, I felt like I was falling for a guy I barely even knew.

         The carnival was packed with families and little children screaming and whining to play every game they saw. We met my parents at the cookout across from all the rides. I still didn’t know what tonight was about, but I knew I couldn’t be happier with all my family here. The band started to sing and everyone went out on the dance floor.  Except me. I haven’t touched a dance floor since my accident, let alone dance any kind of dance. I sat alone at a table with punch in my hand. I watched Adam and Sam dance with random girls from the carnival. I watched my mom and dad sweep each other off their feet. I even watched Luke dance with a little girl with pig tails. I started to think how fast he was growing up and how I’m not spending more time with him. My thinking bubble popped when Linda came over and sat down with me. “Hey sugar pea. Why aren’t you out there dancing” she said pointing over to Adam.

“I haven’t touched a dance floor in a year. I don’t plan on starting now.”

“Well you know, this whole thing was Adam’s idea. He wants to help Hannah.” I looked at here in confusion. I didn’t know what she meant until the dancing stop and a spotlight was on me. I saw Adam walk forward and hold his hand out, asking me to dance. “Oh, no I can’t.”

“Hannah” he started as he helped me up. “You can’t be scared anymore.” He led me to the middle of the dance floor. He put his hand at my waste and held my hand in his. Before I knew it, I was dancing. I didn’t feel scared or worried. I felt free. My eyes never left Adam’s. “Why are you doing this for me?” I wanted to know why go through all this trouble. He simply smiled and twirled me around a couple of times.

“Hannah, you’re worth it all. I want to show you there’s nothing you can’t do. You can’t let feeling scared hold you back from what you love.”

“What’s holding you back?” I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it just happened. I knew he felt the same as I did. I knew it back when I was 12 and he was 13. He tried to impress me by riding a horse by himself and jumping logs. By the end of the jump, he was on the ground and his face red as a tomato. I’ve only been here for two days, and everything I thought was something turned out to be something else. We stopped dancing and he kissed my hand. He disappeared within a blink of an eye. By then, my mom was hugging me and telling me she was so proud. My dad was tearing up and Luke was just smiling. Later, Luke and I rode every ride there; maybe even twice. I needed to spend time with him. He was the only thing I had to hold on to and I didn’t want to be distant from him. He needed his big sister.

         I wasn’t ready to go home when the carnival was over. I couldn’t go home. I walked to the barn to visit my old horse May. I rode her all the time when I was little. It was almost like we were best friends. When I got older, I stopped riding her. I thought I was too old for that kind of stuff. But when I saw the sign on her old stall, I started to cry. May passed two months ago and I wasn’t here to help her through it. The sign said “In Memory of May Johnson, 1993-2012.” I sat down on a hay bell across from the stall and cried. It felt good to let everything out. “Han?” I couldn’t see very well from the tears and swelled up eyes to see who it was. When the person got closer, I could tell who it was. I dropped my head and whipped my tears. “What you doing here? It’s like one in the morning.”

“I could ask you the same thing” said Adam. He sat down next to me and pushed the fallen pieces of my hair away from my face and stroked a tear away from my eyes. “Hannah, I’ve never seen you cry this much.” He sounded worried about me. I rolled my eyes and stood up. Walking back and forth, I tried to come up with an excuse, but there didn’t seem to be one. “I’m crying because I’m scared. I’m scared to try dancing again but you made that possible tonight.” I took a breath, trying to hold back the tears from coming down again. “I’m crying because I am scared of failing my parents more than I already have. Did you see their faces tonight? They think I’m just going to get back out there and dance. But I can’t.” He didn’t say a word. He just looked at me with a blank face. Now was the time to tell him I fell in love with him ever since I was 12. But I couldn’t. Not now. Not till I know he feels the same about me. Adam finally stood up and took me into his arms. He drawled back and I could feel his breath on my nose. We were so close I thought he was going to kiss me, but he didn’t. He told me we should go get some rest.

         On our walk back up to the house, I stopped. Adam kept walking until he finally realized I wasn’t behind him. “What’s wrong?” I stood there for a minute just looking at him before I answered.

“How did you know I was down here? Why come looking for me?”

“I came in to see if you were awake. You were gone and the barn is where you go to think, with May.”

“You didn’t have to come check on me.”

“Obviously, I did. And besides, I wanted to.” I nodded and continued walking. By the time I crawled into bed, it was two thirty in the morning and was supposed to wake up at nine. I tossed and turned all night. I ended up staying up all night.



(One month later)

         I had gotten a job at a local horse riding club downtown where I teach little kids how to ride a horse. I figured since I was here for the whole summer, I might as well spend my time with something I like to do. Adam and Sam have been gone at camp for a couple of weeks. They should come back this afternoon. When my shift was over, I hurried home to find Adam’s car parked in the driveway. Him and Sam where outside playing basketball when I tackled Adam to the ground. I was so happy to see him. “It’s nice to see you too Hannah” he said getting up.

“Hey, I was wondering if you guys wanted to go to The Rock.” I was hoping he would say yes. Sam has been distant from me ever since our moment down at the field a couple weeks ago and I wanted to talk to him.

“Yeah, that sounds fun. Are you game” he asked Sam. Of course he said yes. We all went upstairs and changed into our bathing suits. I decided to go with my yellow polka dotted one with ruffles. It fit me well and really showed off my tan. I grabbed my beach bag and a towel and shut my door behind me. Sam and Adam were waiting for me in the hallway. “You guys ready?” Adam was already half way down the steps by the time I was ready. I looked at same who was starring at me. I smiled and nodded down the stairs. We walked down together and his hand kept touching mine. Was this an accident or on purpose? I hadn’t talked to Sam much since that night. He was avoiding me.

         The Rock was a place me and Adam used to go when the summer days were hot and the nearest pool was an hour away. It was one of my favorite places because the water was three different colors of blue and the fish that swam in it were rare and beautiful. I sat my bag down along with my flip flops. Adam was the first one to jump in. I wanted to take in the view because I haven’t seen it in such a long time. “I’ve never seen something like this” Sam said walking up beside me.

“Yeah, it’s something rare.” Suddenly, I felt Sam pick me up off my feet and throw me in the water. He did a cannon ball right on top of me and Adam.

         After a couple of minutes of dunking and splashing each other, I swam away to go to the waterfall just little ways away. I’d go there when our families came down here and relax. I laid back on a rock just beside the waterfall and watched it fall into the water. The sound always relaxed me as a kid. “Hey,” I heard as I saw a body swimming towards me. “Hey. How’d you know I was over here?” Sam climbed up onto the rock with me and flipped the water of his hair.

“I saw you swim over here. Adam had to get a phone call.” I just nodded as I kept watching the water fall.

“You know,” he said nudging me. “You’re not a hard-ass as you appear to be. You’re actually very cool.”

“Well, you’re not such an ass as I thought, so I guess we were both wrong.” I got up and brushed the dirt and rocks off my butt. Sam followed my steps. He grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him. “What are you doing?” My heart started to thump so loud I could hear it. He adjusted mine and his arms. “Well, since I didn’t get to dance with you at the carnival, I thought I could do it now. I’ll be the judge of how good of a dancer you are.” That made me laugh because he knew how good I was from what he saw at the carnival. We started dancing but not actual dancing. We played around. He would spin me into his arms and twirl me. He even dipped me a few times. When he stopped, we were so close I could feel his body heat. I never realized how bright his eyes were. They made my knees weak. Why was I falling for this guy? “Hey! We got to go!” Adam yelled across the lake. I pushed Sam in the water telling him I’d race him. “You’re on.”

         At dinner, mom and dad were talking about how Luke wanted to join a horse riding camp downtown. I told her I could take him in the morning to see if they had any openings. Mom and Linda were going shopping and Dad was going fishing with his friends from the club. Adam said he was going to meet up with a friend at the diner. As for Sam, he had nothing to do. “Sam, do you want to come with me to take Luke in the morning?” I figured I could find out more about Adam’s friend, considering I had a feeling it was a girl.

“Sure. Sounds fun” he responded.

“Luke, is that okay?” Luke nodded. He honestly loved Sam. The past month, him and Sam have been playing baseball and fishing.

         I headed to bed early since I had to wake up at eight. On the way to my room, someone grabbed me into the hallway closet. “What the hell” I screamed.

“Shh.” It was Adam.

“Why did you pull me into the closet?!”

“Why are you doing everything with Sam?”  His question surprised me. The look on his face was surprising too. It was almost as if he was jealous.

“What? We’ve only hung out maybe three times this whole month.”

“I saw you guys dancing down at The Rock.” He was raising his voice.

“Why are you getting so mad?”

“I’m not. I’m just curious. Is there something going on between you two?” At this point, I just rolled my eyes and walked out. He followed grabbing my arm. “Do you like him?” I yanked my arm away and looked him in the eye.

“Why do you care?” He loosened up and stepped back. Finally, I hit a soft spot. I turned to see Sam standing in his bedroom doorway. I shook my head and slammed my door. I was both relieved and upset that Adam was jealous. But I was also feeling a part of me letting him go.

         I just got done putting on a big T-shirt and grabbed my book when my door opened. Sam walked in and sat down on my bed beside me. “You okay? You and Adam seemed like you had a fight.” I put my book beside me and swung my feet off the side of my bed.

“I guess. He was just mad.”

“About what?” I looked at him. That face was just so cute that I couldn’t resist smiling. “Do you really want to know?” He nodded. “He thinks you and I have something going on and he’s jealous about it.” He looked surprised. “Yeah, I know. Crazy, right?” He shot me a look as if I was wrong. He twisted his body a round so he was facing me.

“It’s not so crazy,” he assured me while brushing away a piece of hair from my face back behind my ear. I didn’t know what to say to that. He moved his hand slowly down my arm. My heart was racing and I could feel my blood pressure raising. I inhaled a large breath of air and stood up trying to break the moment.

“Sam, look. I’m not trying to give you the wrong impression, but-“Before I could finish what I was trying to say, Sam shot up from the bed and turned me around so we were face to face. He raised his hands and cuffed them around my face. I wanted to move away but it was like I was nailed to the floor.

“I like you Hannah, and Adam cannot stop me from falling for you,” he whispered.

“Yes,” I said moving away from him. “But he can stop being both our friends and I have been his best friend since I was ten. It’s just too much.” I tried to make my way to the other side of the room when Sam grabbed my hand and stopped me.

“Why does he even care if we like each other? I know you two have a secret thing going on, but he hasn’t shown in any way that he cares. But I am trying to.” He was right. Adam hasn’t showed he cared. All he’s done was yell at me and blow me off when we make plans. I lowered my head and ran my hand that he didn’t have through my hair. I walked closer to him as he slowly pulled me in.

“I know,” I whispered. I could feel myself getting choked up. At that moment, Sam pulled me close and kissed me gently. The way he kissed me was soft and sweet. It made me forget my problems and memories. When we stopped, he put his forehead against mine and whispered “Finally.” I smiled a smirk and told him we had to get up in a couple of hours. He nodded and headed out of my room. I watched him from the doorway of my room as he walked into his room. He peeked his head out at me and waved. When I closed my door, a foot caught it and opened it again.

         Suddenly, my mood went from fairytale to a nightmare. I stood at my doorway with my arms crossed. “What do you want Adam?” He looked defeated. He looked like he just lost something out of war.

“I need to talk to you, and I couldn’t sleep on it and you’re up.” I rolled my eyes and started to close my door inches at a time.

“I have to get up in a couple of hours to take Luke to horse camp. Can we not do this tomorrow?” He brushed off the question and changed the subject.

“Isn’t that my t-shirt?” I looked down at my shirt. It was his. He let me borrow it after we got soaked at his house right before he left for California. 

“No, I believe it’s mine.” He stepped closer to me and felt the shirt.

“It looks better on you anyway.” He kept his hand where it was on my arm. It slowly slid down to my hand and he let it stay there. I smiled at the fact that I knew he was thinking of when he gave me this shirt.

“We’ll talk tomorrow after I get back, okay?” He nodded and walked away. I hurried and closed the door behind me. I glanced at the clock that said one thirty. I threw myself on the bed and tempted to fall asleep. That night, all I dreamed about was Sam’s and I kiss. I could feel my heart letting go of Adam. It felt good. It felt . . . Like heartache.

         The next morning, I had to wake Luke up to get him there on time. I didn’t bother looking decent today. I threw on an old pair of blue jeans, a white tank top, and flip flops. I left my hair naturally wavy and down. I threw on a hat because I didn’t like the way my bangs looked. I laid out an outfit for Luke and woke him up again and said I’d be at breakfast. I walked downstairs to find everyone eating. “Where have you been honey,” mom asked.

“Trying to wake Luke up.” It was normal small talk at the table. Mom was talking about how she was going to get me some shirts and shorts when she and Linda went shopping today. My mom always had the best style sense. My dad was already gone with his friends for fishing. Mom said he left around five this morning. Linda brought me some oatmeal with fresh blueberries and some toast. “Can you pass me the jelly please,” I asked Sam. When he passed it to me, our hands touched and he looked at me with a smile. I didn’t even notice me smiling back, but what I did notice was Adam watching us. My smile went away and I didn’t look at either of them the rest of breakfast.

         Luke finally came down, fully dressed and ready to go, twenty minutes before we had to leave. “Take you a banana for the way. We got to go.” I grabbed him a banana and we headed out the door. Sam offered to drive, so Luke sat in the back. Sam turned on the radio and asked Luke what he liked to listen to. “I like country music,” Luke said. We listened to Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean all the way to the camp.

         The camp was located at the end of town. I walked Luke inside to see if we could sign him up for classes while Sam stayed in the car. The stable was full of horses and little children running away with happiness and excitement. “Okay Luke, let’s see if we can find the person in charge of this camp.” We walked through the stable until we found a guy with a uniform on. “Excuse me,” I said as I tapped on his shoulder. He turned around and he had the brightest white teeth I have ever seen. “Hi, I was wondering if it was too late to sign up for classes.”

“Are you thinking of taking classes,” he asked with a giggle.

“Oh, no,” I said shaking my head. “This is Luke, my little brother. He wants to learn how to ride.” He crunched down to Luke’s level and said hi to him.

“Well, you’re lucky. I have one more opening every day at noon. I’ll be teaching you myself, if that’s cool with you.” Luke nodded and smiled. The guy pointed Luke to the horse he would be riding and asked him if he wanted to go see her while I did some paper work. The guy handed me a clipboard and I sat on a hay bell beside me and filled out the papers. “So, do you ride?” I didn’t lift my head up when I answered.

“Yeah, I have been since I was ten.”

“Well, we have something in common then. I’m Connor by the way.” I smiled as I stood up handing him the clipboard.

“So I’ll have Luke here at noon tomorrow.”

“I look forward to it,” he said kissing my hand. I nodded and yelled for Luke. Connor watched us leave the stable and get into the car.

“Any classes open,” Sam asked as I slid into the passenger’s seat.

“Yeah, Luke got the last opening.” I rubbed my hand that Connor had kissed the whole way home. I could not let another guy into my life. Not now. I have Sam.

         We dropped Luke off and told mom and Linda about the class. I insisted to take him tomorrow. By then, Sam had asked me to dinner. I went up to my room to change while Sam played a game with Luke downstairs. I walked into my room to find Adam standing at my desk with a picture in his hands. “Hi.” I could tell I startled him because he jumped and put the picture behind his back.

“Hey, I, um, didn’t mean to be in your room. I was looking to see if you were home and I saw this sitting here, so I --,” he hesitated. I threw my hat onto my bed and grabbed the picture out of his hands to look at it. It was a picture of me and Adam at Lake Erie three summers ago. I smiled as I realized how close we were standing to each other. I looked up at him to notice him looking at the picture as well.

“I loved that place,” I started. “I remember you terrorizing me with the snake you caught down there.” He laughed.

“Yeah, you were pretty scared of that thing.” I smiled and looked up at him. He was looking so deep into my eyes, I thought he was going to try and do something. He started touching my waste and I slowly moved away. “So, um, what did you want to talk to me about last night,” I asked sitting on my bed.

“Listen, I know we have been best friends since we were kids. You are my best friend no matter what. But somehow along the way, I fell in love with my best friend.” My eyes widened. I felt my jaw drop.

“What,” is all I could think of to say. He took a seat beside me and grabbed my hands. “Hannah, I know I haven’t been paying attention to you this summer and I know I’ve been busy. Sam has probley swept you off your feet. But he does that with a lot of girls.” I shook my head and yanked my hands away.

“Adam, you can’t just say you’re in love with me just because I might have let you go. And you can’t just say that because you’re roommate might actually like me.”

He tried to grab my hands again but I didn’t let him. “Look, I have a date with Sam so can you just please, go?” I held the door open as he left.

“I’m sorry Hannah. I should have told you sooner. But I do love you.” And just like that, he was gone. I shut my door and slid down to the floor. I let out my biggest cry I ever cried. I’ve always wanted to hear those words from Adam. I remember writing in my diary when I was 13 about how much I liked him and wanted to marry him one day.

         I finally got up on my feet and started getting ready for my dinner date with Sam. My face was red and my eyes were puffy. I tried covering it up with make up, but it didn’t work the way I hoped. I pinned my hair half way back out of my face and stuck a bow in it. I stuck with my shorts but changed shirts. I walked downstairs shortly after and saw everyone in the living room. Adam was sitting with my mother on the couch. He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. “Are you ready Sam?” Sam nodded and told everyone bye. Sam took my hand and walked me out.

         The diner Sam took me to was adorable. I haven’t been to it but he said him and Adam came here when they first arrived. The theme was 80s style country. Maroon and a dark yellow were their main colors. As we waited for our food, Sam talked about his life back in California. “Sounds like you miss California,” I assured him.

“I do. But I like it here too. Plus, I go back in a month so I shouldn’t miss it too much.” It had escaped me that he was going back home in a month.

“Well, I’ll miss you.” Sam looked at me in grief.

“You are my favorite thing that has happened to me this summer,” he said taking my hand. I was his favorite thing. I wanted to tell him what Adam told me last night. We got our food about 20 minutes later and we talked about anything we could think of. I told him stories about my childhood that made him laugh. I was an embarrassing child.

“I’m thinking about dancing again,” I finally said. I wanted to go to Julliard. I just had to build up the confidence again. 

“Wow. That’s great Hannah.” I smiled.

“You’re the first person I’ve said this too. My parents will just get too overwhelmed. I’m not sure yet, but I want to go. I just need to build up my confidence again.”

“Come on,” he said taking my hand and pulling me out of the booth. He stopped me right in the middle of the diner. The middle was a dance floor for anyone who wanted to dance. “Sam, no,” I said shaking my head. He went over to the jukebox and pushed number three. The song was “I Hope You Find It” by Miley Cyrus. He walked up to me and stuck out his hand.

“I used to dance too. A secret of mine, but let’s see if we can bring back that dancer inside you.” I took his hand and he led the dance. It was so easy with him. He guided me around the diner like it was thin air. Everyone in the diner was clapping and cheering every time we did a big move. When the song ended, everyone got up and danced to the next song. It was a hip hop song so everyone was moving. Sam continued to make me laugh and smile throughout the whole dance. We sang, danced, and laughed the whole time.

         We came home around nine. Linda and Luke were playing Sorry in the living room and mom and dad were doing dishes. Sam stayed outside to help Adam with his car that was having problems. I put my purse on the table and sat in a chair. I started smiling and my mom seemed to notice. “How was dinner Han?” I looked up at her. She had the biggest smile on her face.

“It was good,” I started. I paused for a minute. “Mom, Dad. I have something to tell you.” They both turned to look at me. I took a deep breath and told them I wanted to take the scholarship to Julliard. Mom let out a huge scream and ran to throw her arms around me.

“Hannah, that’s amazing. What made you change your mind,” my dad asked.

“Well,” I started. “Tonight at dinner, Sam made me realized how much I missed it. We danced and I had so much fun. I need to get back out there.” My mom was in tears. She recommended a dance studio in the next town over. She told me no one used it and she could get the keys for me in the morning when I took Luke to class. I gave her a hug and went to join Linda and Luke for a game of Sorry.

         I woke up around ten to get ready to take Luke to class and to practice dance. I put on spandex shorts and a sports bra with a jacket. I grabbed my ballet shoes and put them in my bag. My hair was in a bun on top of my head and I still had on the make up from last night. Luke was up and ready by the time I went downstairs. My mom looked at me and smiled. “Oh Hannah. I’ve missed this side of you,” she said to me.

“Me too mom.” I gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Are you ready Luke?”

“Yes! Let’s go!” He ran out the door before I could even answer him. Mom tossed me the dance studio keys and I told her what time to pick up Luke just incase I didn’t finish in time. I saw Adam and Sam working on the car outside. Adam looked up to see me and I waved. You could tell he was surprised to see me dressed like this. I was surprised myself.

         I didn’t see Connor when I dropped Luke off. I figured he was somewhere in the stable but I didn’t have time to go in and check. I told Luke mom was picking him up and he nodded and ran off into the stable. It took me an hour to get to the studio. No one has used it in years. Dust covered the front entrance. The lights barely worked. It was empty. I put my radio on the floor and turned on the music. I took off my jacket and stretched before I did anything because if I didn’t I knew I would pull something. I practice my old routine I did for my audition. I was rusty and didn’t get in down the first couple of times. After I messed up for the fifth time, I stopped. I stood there in front of the mirror and tilted my head back. “You’re off by three seconds on your last part of that routine,” I heard from a voice behind me. I turned around and saw Connor, the stable director. “Why are you here,” I asked. He walked towards me and did not answer till he was in front of me.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I needed a place to practice and my mom said this was open.”

“I know. I gave her the keys.”

“I didn’t know you were a dancer.”

“Nor did I know you were one.” I watched him walk around me a couple of times. “You’re a little out of balance and out of shape.” I rolled my eyes and walked over to turn my music off. I put my jacket back on and packed up my stuff. I have been there for two hours and I was starving. “If you need help,” he said. “I could help you get back in balance. I’ll be here tomorrow.” I looked at him and he had the biggest smile on his face.

“Sure,” I decided to say. I could use the help if I wanted to be prepared in time for Julliard next month. I was tired and my feet were beat up by the time I had gotten home. When I first stepped in the door, my mom was asking all these questions about how it went. “Okay, mom,” I said. “If I’m going to do this, no asking questions about it until I talk to you first, deal?” She nodded and smiled. I walked up to my room and collapsed on my bed. I had such a headache and still trying to get over the fact that Connor was a dancer.