Abbey Rob

When a gang robbed me the other day
I was standing near Westminster Abbey.
they took from me cash and jewelry,
so I have to say I was feeling crabby.

How peculiar was the gang of thieves!
There were four, each with a stone facade.
‘Round their waist hung switchblades on gold chains
and I have to say I found that odd.

Near this famous church where monarchs rest
they were bold enough to lift my purse.
I felt tears and anger mix inside,
which I have to tell you I found worse.

I sought out a bobby ‘round the way
who then took me to the precinct station.
They assuaged me as they took my statement,
(to be so robbed of my vacation!)

“King Henry! Please apprehend the thieves!”
My plaintive plea to sergeant Scone.
He understood my fervency
as he picked up the telephone.

I have to tell you life it good
without the need of pointy thieves!
The sergeant issued an all points bulletin
from London all the way to Leeds.

“We will come together, Ma‘am” Scone said,
“We’ll do something about, I swear to you!”
And because I am dignified like Her Majesty,
I said, “I know, in the end, that’s all you can do.”


28 Lines
Writer’s Cramp
July 26, 2013