Slime and Punishment.

Slime and Punishment.

Disclaimer: The Simpson's belong to Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. This fan fiction is intended as a non profit parody only, no conscious attempt to defame, pass off or claim ownership has been made within this text. All characters within are purely fictional and in no way intended to resemble persons living or dead. No offence is intended to any reader, if offence is caused anyway please feel free to stop reading at any time instead of reading the entire thing then complaining anyway.

It was morning on Evergreen Terrace, Marge entered her eldest daughters bedroom and opened the curtains.

“Rise and shine Lisa!” Marge said in a sing song voice. Lisa blinked and shook her head before sitting up in bed.

“Morning mom.” Lisa said trying not to sound ungrateful that Marge was acting as her alarm clock now. Marge smiled and hurried downstairs where she already had stuff on the stove by the smell of it. Lisa got up, stretched then walked over to her closet to get out one of her red spiky red dresses.

“Hey mom, careful you might wake the butt dragon!” Bart said popping his head around Lisa's door frame.

“Bart, get out, I'm getting dressed.” Lisa said coldly, she wasn't even mad, yet. Bart laughed and shut the door, Lisa changed out of her night dress and into her daytime outfit.

Soon after Lisa emerged from her room fully dressed and headed to the bathroom where she washed her face. As she stood on the plastic stool by the sink, which allowed her to reach it, a poll with a rubber spider on it slowly entered the bathroom through the door. As Lisa finished washing her face the poll deposited the rubbed spider on her shoulder and then quickly withdrew. Lisa stood bolt upright when she suddenly felt something on her left shoulder. She turned around then screamed and flailed. This caused her to immediately fall off the stool onto the bathroom floor.

“Wait a minute.” Lisa said getting to her feet.

“This is a rubber spider! BART!” Lisa yelled which elicited laughter from the hallway and the sound of running away. Lisa made a frustrated noise and threw the rubber spider to the ground, she then walked away muttering under her breath. She headed downstairs, at least here maybe she'd get some sort of break from the tiresome antics of her brother. Her older brother, it wasn't so much that there was any harm in what he did but it was like living with a hyperactive six year old. Lisa may have been two years younger than her brother but she was certainly the one that acted more mature, well most of the time. That and Lisa was jealous of the way Bart seemed to be more popular than her, have more fun and never seemed to worry about anything. His life was fairly carefree compared to Lisa who already had great expectations for herself not to mention those of her mother and father. Her brother by contrast was barely expected to behave most of the time, must less achieve anything at school or in extracurricular activities.

Lisa arrived downstairs where she said “hi” to her mom and noticed Maggie was already here in her high chair. Lisa pulled up a chair at the table and began eating her breakfast cereal. It wasn't fair, she worked so hard and Bart just got to be the class clown all the time. Well, no point fighting it, it seemed to be the dynamic of her family that her overweight fathers crazy schemes and older brothers pranks were constants no matter what else was happening. Then again so was the love, affection and interest from her baby sister and her mother. Lisa supposed that in some ways she was lucky, after all a lot of people had it much harder than she did.

“Hey, look, it's the butt dragon again. Watch out! She'll use her cootie breath on you!” Bart said as he entered the kitchen and noticed Lisa sitting at the table.

“Bart! Stop it! You know Lisa's sensitive about her, erm, her looks. Stop teasing your sister.” Marge said hesitating as she tried not to say the words “chubby”, “weight” or “big butt” in reference to her daughter. Truly Lisa was, like many children in Springfield, rather on the chubby side. However the double standard was that she was expected to care about it because she was a girl, no one batted an eyelid at Bart's weight and he was even heavier than her. Lisa however had for a long time now felt as if she wasn't good enough because she wasn't thin enough. She knew that didn't make sense but still she felt as if she needed to loose weight. Dieting was always a disaster for her though, last time she ended up eating an entire birthday cake which then went straight to her butt and thighs. Anyway she knew Bart just did this to annoy her, and it was working. She scowled at him as he sat down to eat his bowl of Krusty O's across the table. Look at the smug jerk, he never has to worry about having a big butt or failing at school. Stupid Simpson gene, Lisa thought. Soon they finished their breakfast and the school bus arrived.

At least at school Lisa didn't have to deal with Bart constantly, since they were in different grades and therefore classes. The school work was okay, she just wished they'd go a bit faster. Lisa always felt as if they were walking with their shoelaces tied together. Or as if they kept going over the same things unnecessarily. Then again she suspected her teacher Elizabeth Hoover was not going to win any awards for teaching any time soon. Still at least the school tried to teach the students and generally didn't just ignore bullying. Although with Nelson, Jimbo, Kearny and Dolph around there was certainly plenty of that. Francine was still an ever present threat, although she hadn't picked on Lisa just lately. At least it took Lisa's mind off Bart's taunting anyway. Maybe at recess something interesting would happen, certainly not much danger of that in this classroom. So Hoover talked away, wrote things on the board, Lisa was only half listening since she already read then re read this part of the book.

At recess Lisa was looking for her friend Allison when suddenly Francine appeared around the corner. Lisa tried to look inconspicuous, however she didn't expect what came next. Suddenly as Francine passed by her Lisa was struck by a water balloon which exploded and drenched her in cold water.

“Ah! What the?” Lisa said then looked around and spotted Bart's hair spikes just above the low wall of the schools flat roof.

“Bart! How dare you!” Lisa roared, although in her voice it was more of a “waaauggghhh”.

“Hey, look, that water balloon has a nerd on it's ass.” Francine said then she laughed. Lisa just quietly fumed as the spikes disappeared then reappeared as Bart tried to sneak away.

“I can see your hair Bart! I know it was you!” Lisa yelled.

“Arrg. That's it, I'm out of here. I'm sick of this boring school. I'm sick of my stupid brother. You can all kiss my ass, my entire ass, start at one end then work your way along to the other. Good day.” Lisa said then stormed off as the entire playground stood silently for a few moments.

“What's an ass?” Ralph asked then everyone laughed.

Lisa who was by now making her way off the school grounds was furious, she was used to the malaise, the boring classes, even being bullied but this was just too much. She suddenly remembered why she'd taken out a restraining order against her brother at one point, just to get some respite from his disruptive behaviour. She knew she'd get in trouble but it couldn't be much worse than putting up with being constantly humiliated by Bart. Why does he have to be such a jerk to his sister? Lisa then realised that she'd been running, she stopped to catch her breath then realised she had no idea where she was. Well she was in the woods around Evergreen Terrence. Right now that was about as much help as noting that she was on the American continent.

“Oh great, now I'm lost, Bart this is all your fault. If I get eaten by a wolf then I'll come back to haunt you!” Lisa said then stormed off again even though she had precisely no idea where she was going. The anger didn't last and neither did the energy. After a couple of hours of wandering probably in large circles Lisa was really starting to feel tired and pissed off.

Lisa decided to have a rest so she walked over to a tree which rested on the ground by a slope then climbed onto it. As soon as Lisa sat on it the tree started to tilt down the incline and then started moving down the hill. Lisa instinctive grabbed onto a branch as the tree hurtled down the hill then it hit a rock which launched her into the air then onto the ground. Fortunately for Lisa the area at the bottom of the slope was strangely devoid of trees or large shrubs.

As she struggled to her feet she noticed that it had a stone floor. This was made by people not nature, no doubt about it. But what was it doing all the way out here? Lisa stood up, walked a few paces forward then the stones collapsed which caused her to fall into a void underneath. She rolled down a slope inside then came to a rest on the stone floor of whatever she just entered. There was some natural light from the hole she just fell through but not nearly enough to really see all the details. It looked like a temple or maybe a tomb. Certainly not anything that the modern American society would build. Lisa got up then tried to climb out the way she came in but it was too steep and besides there was no way she could climb up the sheer wall at the top.

“Oh great, I hope there's another way out.” Lisa said to herself then headed back down to the floor level.

She walked around the maze of tunnels for a long time, Lisa wasn't sure how long, it was still light so it couldn't have been that long. The place was cold and dry. At least the parts which hadn't had a ceiling collapse were. Lisa wondered what would be left of the Simpson's house in hundreds or thousands of years time. At the end of a barely illuminated passage she found a door. A way out perhaps? It seemed a little too convenient and Lisa has no reason to suspect she was anywhere near ground level although it was hard to tell in here.

In the event it turned out to be some sort of storage area. There were what looked like shelves carved into the stone here. The room was quite large but there was little else here except for a chest which looked strangely like a pre medieval or medieval European design. That struck Lisa as quite wrong, even though she was only in second grade she had read many history books and knew perfectly well America wasn't permanently colonised until well after the middle ages. So what on earth was a chest like this doing here? It didn't belong, in either geographic or historical terms. Lisa hesitated. On the one hand if she ever got out of here and didn't take a look she'd always wonder what was in the chest. On the other hand this whole thing was suspicious. The chest was in the wrong place, at the wrong time and very much in the wrong style. Lisa decided to find out what was in it in any case, probably nothing useful but who knows, maybe it was a key which would help her escape from this labyrinth.

Lisa approached the chest, the lock was obviously broken, she opened it up and saw a truly strange sight. There was a crown, which like the chest looked like something from the middle ages, except that it looked as if it was new, like a reproduction. But if it was a reproduction then what was it doing in a chest in a strange underground maze like this one? None of this made any sense, which irritated Lisa, she was used to applying logic, reason and known facts in order to figure out what was going on. The facts she knew here were either wrong or something else entirely must have brought the contents of the chest to the current location. But why did it look so new? It would have to be at least five hundred years old, maybe even older by the style of it. Yet it looked as if it was bought from a curiosity shop last week. Were the Mormon's right? Did people visit America before even the Vikings? None of this really mattered right now, what mattered was what Lisa should do next. What to do, she could take the crown, but really what use was it to her here, she didn't even know if it was a real crown or a cheap knock off. Lisa really didn't feel like hauling the thing all the way back to civilisation only to find out you could buy them for ten dollars on the shopping channel. Yet it didn't look cheap, or fake, Lisa reached into the box and picked it up. It felt heavy, it felt real. Well maybe if she was here she could at least try it on, there was enough light in here although no mirror with which to see herself. Lisa placed the crown on her head and immediately the entire room was filled with light and noise.

“Uh oh.” was all Lisa got out before she felt a strange feeling wash over her body. Straight away something felt really weird, Lisa felt herself puffing up and expanding. Lisa felt like she was being inflated like a party balloon, as much sense as that made. Except that it wasn't air or helium, she felt heavier not lighter. Her body ballooned briefly in all directions absorbing her limbs, hands, feet and head. Lisa thought she would explode but she didn't feel pressure, just expansion and the loss of her extremities. This made absolutely no sense, what was happening to her? Finally as the light cleared she realised that her face was no longer on top of her body but rather in the middle of it, the crown was still on top of her body though. Speaking of her body it was roughly round but not spherical, more round like a blob of icing, a sort of uneven roundness. Well so much for the crown being a cheap knock off. But what had become of her. She'd turned into some kind of water balloon. That's what it felt like, she wobbled even though she wasn't moving, for that matter was she even capable of movement any more. That thought really scared her, this was bad enough, turning into a giant blob wearing a crown, what if she was stuck here unable to move an inch? She'd never see her family or anyone else she cared about again. Damn, why did she have to put that crown on, she could have just walked away, stupid curiosity. She wondered what she looked like now, she had a vague idea, whatever she was this body still had a sense of where it was and how big it was. If Lisa had been able to see herself she'd have seen a large wobbling irregular yellow blob with her face on it wearing a crown, for some god forsaken reason her face was fixed in a permanent stupid grin. Which wasn't exactly the expression Lisa would have been pulling if she'd still been human.

Well time to find out if she could still move, Lisa tried to move, at first she just wobbled in different directions but after a minute of trying she managed to get the hang of it and started hopping around the room. Eventually she was able to move at more than walking pace, she even found out that she could jump, that was when she hit her head on the ceiling, well her body in fact since she didn't have a head any more. Lisa wondered how high she was able to jump now in her current form. Suddenly it hit her, maybe she could jump the distance out of the hole she came in through. Well it was worth a try, Lisa all so discovered that by concentrating on objects with her mind she could manipulate them. But right now she just wanted out of here, there would be time for answers later, for now she had to escape before this ancient labyrinth fell down around her lack of any ears.

Navigation was difficult down here but eventually Lisa managed to make it back to the chamber where she came in through the ceiling. At first her attempts to climb up the ramp by hopping were unsuccessful, she just ended up sliding back down and wobbling excessively at the bottom of the slope. She decided a new approach was needed and managed to jump to the top of the slope then out of the labyrinth altogether. Of course Lisa was now quite a bit bigger in every direction than when she went in to the hole so she made it a bit wider on the way out. As Lisa landed on the stone area outside a few bricks fell here and there. One hit her and bounced off her body into the trees. Lisa's body wobbled excessively again for a moment before she started hopping away, she ignored the bank the tree had slid down and simply took a different less steep route out of the area.

As Lisa hopped through the forest, wobbling and deftly avoiding trees she wondered how tough her new body was. If she hit something sharp enough would she just pop like a water balloon? Or would she rupture and then whatever was inside her run out onto the forest floor. Lisa decided to try and think about something more positive, she was lost, she was transformed into a blob thingy, well at least she managed to get out of that hole in the ground anyway. But unless she made it back to Springfield that wouldn't really help her. Lisa carried on heading in the direction she thought might be the way home. Well at least this way I won't just wander around in circles, that's something humans do, I'm not human any more, not physically anyway. Strangely her transformation seemed to have been mostly physical rather than mental, yes she could move objects by thinking about it but then again how else could a creature like this manipulate anything? It's not like she had any arms or hands. She hadn't really noticed any change in the way she thought, although she had to admit it didn't feel all that weird being a blob. She expected it to feel wrong and weird. Really it just felt different, Lisa continued on her way until she came to a spring within the forest.

Lisa decided to stop here for a rest, she suspected that whatever she had turned into did not make great long distance runners, or hoppers. Then there was her size, she wasn't much taller than her original height but she felt about as wide as a truck. Then again she was sort of an irregular round shape, suddenly Lisa heard a voice out of the forest.

“Wow, cool man!” the voice said. Oh no! It was Bart! Lisa turned to see her brother in the tree line near the spring.

“Hey, it's got a face. What are you man?” Bart asked.

“Uh, well, uh the thing about that is.” Lisa began.

“Lisa? Is that you? Ahahahahahaha! Oh my god, you turned into a blob monster, this is too funny. Ahahhahahaha!” Bart said as he doubled over laughing. Lisa felt anger welling up inside her once again, how dare he, at a time like this, how dare he make fun of her. Lisa lunged at Bart despite the fact he was some considerable distance away. She covered the distance but Bart moved and Lisa's full weight hit a tree and caused it to collapse. Bart for his part slipped over on a rock and fell into the spring. Immediately Bart got into trouble, flailing and drowning in the centre of the spring. Lisa turned around and hopped to the edge of the spring but could do nothing. Bart was already underwater and Lisa didn't see how she'd be able to swim in her current condition. She tried pulling him out but she couldn't see him and it didn't seem to work. Quickly the bubbles stopped rising to the surface of the water. It was then that it slowly dawned on her that she'd just killed her older brother. First Lisa felt grief, she wanted to throw herself in after him then the panic set in, what was she going to do? Granted it was unlikely that anyone would find Bart at the bottom of the spring but still Lisa knew where he was. She knew what happened, but she couldn't tell anyone. The state Springfield was in had the death penalty. If she told anyone what happened she'd be arrested for murder for sure. Lisa hopped away knowing that she could never talk about what happened here today, not the meeting Bart and knocking him into the spring part anyway. Eventually Lisa made it back to Evergreen Terrace and the Simpson's back garden.

She opened the back gate then squeezed herself through it, wow, she really was wide now. Maggie was playing in the back yard sand pit, Lisa saw this and hopped over to her. However Maggie saw her coming and scrambled into the house, falling over a couple of times in the process. Lisa sighed, she couldn't really blame Maggie for not recognising her. Just then Marge came out into the back yard and saw Lisa.

“Ah! A monster!” Marge said then grabbed a broom and started hitting Lisa. Not that it did very much other than just bounce off Lisa's body and make it wobble a bit.

“Mom! It's me! Lisa! Stop it!” Lisa said then Marge stopped for a moment then carried on hitting Lisa.

“Who are you and what have you done with my daughter you monster?” Marge demanded.

“No mom, it's really me, I'm a vegetarian Buddhist, I play the saxophone, I always wanted a pony, one time you went in for liposuction and came out with breast implants, I said your endowment was bigger than Harvard's.” Lisa said. Marge stopped again then lowered the broom.

“Lisa, it's really you, what happened to you? You look like a giant jelly.” Marge said.

“Well I feel like one too. Well what happened is..” Lisa then told Marge everything that happened after she ran away from school excluding the curious incident of the Bart in the middle of the day at the spring in the forest.

“So you fell into a tomb then decided to put on a crown in a chest even though you'd never seen it before in your life.” Marge said then made her frustrated noise.

“Well yeah, it does sound kinda stupid if you put it like that.” Lisa replied.

“You haven't seen your brother anywhere have you? He went into the woods after you when you ran away.” Marge said.

“No, I didn't see Bart anywhere in the woods.” Lisa replied.

“Oh well, it was a long shot I suppose. Well you might as well come inside. Heh, did you try just taking that thing off?” Marge asked.

“What thing?” Lisa replied.

“That crown, if putting it on turned you into a human Twinkie then maybe taking it off will turn you back to normal.” Marge explained.

“Well it's worth a try I suppose, can you get it off?” Lisa asked.

“Here goes.” Marge said then tried to remove the crown from Lisa's body, unfortunately it didn't budge a single inch but it did deform the area of Lisa's body around it.

“I don't think it's coming off mom.” Lisa said.

“Nonsense, no daughter of mine is going to be a giant jelly, come on, already.” Marge said but she was unable to remove the crown, it was stuck fast.

“Well if we can't get that thing off then you might as well come in before someone sees you.” Marge said. They moved inside, Marge simply walked through but Lisa had to really squeeze and deform her body to fit through the back door. When she finally bounced through she nearly squashed the cat which made a noise and fled.

“Sorry, I got a little stuck there. I guess I'm a little wide for doorways now.” Lisa said.

Meanwhile at the spring in the forest the water stirred, suddenly a soaking wet Bart Simpson emerged from it.

“What the hell? I drowned, but I've come back to life! Just like Super Mario!” Bart said then headed off into the woods. He wandered around for a while and eventually he did find his way back to the Simpson's house. When he did he found out that Lisa had disappeared from Marge, he decided not to tell her what happened with Lisa at the spring yet. Especially as he wasn't sure if she really meant to knock him into the water, technically he slipped on some mud. He supposed that she didn't rescue him because whatever she turned into can't swim.

Lisa meanwhile was hopping around down town Springfield, people stopped and stared but most assumed it must be someone in a costume.

“That's odd, I don't recall there being any conventions in town this week.” Comic book guy said to himself as he saw Lisa hopping down the side walk. Just then Milhouse was crossing the road and got hit by chief Wiggum's police cruiser.

“Oh sorry kid, I was just on my way to the take out place to get some Chinese food.” Wiggum said completely missing the severity of the situation.

“Milhouse! Oh no!” Lisa said and hopped towards the accident.

“Hey, what the hell is that?” Wiggum asked as Lisa arrived.

“None of your business. Hold on Milhouse, I'll help you.” Lisa said then she used some sort of mind power to heal Milhouse's broken body.

“Uh, Lisa, wow, I'm healed. Thanks. Hey, do you wanna go out some time?” Milhouse asked.

“Ugh, not now Milhouse.” Lisa said then the crowd that had gathered booed.

“Oh, so you'll save his life but you won't go out with him.” Wiggum said.

“This isn't really a good time for me.” Lisa insisted.

“Hold on a minute there, this healing people seems just a mite on the blasphemous side. What do you think Reverend?” Ned Flanders asked Reverend Lovejoy.

“Well Ned I'd say it most certainly is, us Presbylutherens don't take to kindly to miraculous events. I'd say it's time to unleash the fury of the mob.” Reverend Lovejoy replied.

“Okay, I'll be going now.” Lisa said then bounced away from the crowd who immediately picked up torches, pitchforks and began chasing her. As they chased Lisa through the streets of Springfield she wondered how angry mobs formed so quickly in this town. They chased her for an hour or so before she was able to loose them and make her way back to Evergreen Terrace. Lisa was just relieved she was able to hop or bounce so quickly, she certainly didn't look like she could out run a human on foot. However she could move surprisingly fast and jump great heights now that she was used to this body. One thing she wasn't prepared for was what awaited her at home.

“Bart? But you're..” Lisa began.

“Oh yeah, I'm still alive, what do you think of that ya big blob? Eh? Blobby?” Bart said giving Lisa's body a shove which made it wobble excessively.

“Heh! Don't do that! But, I thought, I thought you drowned.” Lisa said.

“I did, that's the weird part, I woke up again after you bounced away and got out of the spring.” Bart explained.

“Hmm. Really. That's interesting.” Lisa replied.

“So Lisa, are you going to tell mom, what happened at the Spring or should I?” Bart asked.

“Well what makes you think I haven't already?” Lisa replied.

“Well for one thing she didn't say anything about it and she went on and on about everything else which happened to you.” Bart responded.

“You're right Bart, I should tell her, I feel so guilty, I thought I'd killed you.” Lisa said then hopped towards Bart and “hugged” him, Bart sunk into her wobbly body somewhat and said “Let me go!” in a muffled voice.

“Oh, sorry.” Lisa said somewhat embarrassed and let Bart go again.

“Okay, you win, I'll tell mom what happened.” Lisa continued and they went to see Marge together, Lisa explained what happened at the spring and why she thought Bart was dead. Then she mentioned Milhouse and the angry mob.

“Well I guess all that really matters is that you're back here safe and sound. And Lisa, no more going out without permission. Got it?” Marge said.

“Yes mom, heh, I've been thinking, you know the way Bart drowned then came back to life? Well maybe this spring could change me back into a human again. If it can bring people back from the dead maybe it can break the hold this crown has on me.” Lisa suggested.

“Hmm. Well it's worth a try, it's not like the hospital or the doctor will be much help. Let's go.” Marge replied then they set off for the spring in the forest. Since both Lisa and Bart had already been there it wasn't that hard for them to find.

After an hour or so of walking or hopping the two humans and one blob arrived at the spring where Bart drowned then came back to life. Lisa hopped towards it.

“Do you think this will work?” Bart asked.

“I don't know, but I have to try, I'm not spending the rest of my life as an amorphous blob creature.” Lisa replied then jumped into the spring which caused water to fly everywhere.

“Geeze Lis, did you have to do a cannonball?” Bart said. Lisa sank into the water then only bubbles remained. Suddenly there was a noise and a flash of light before Lisa, now human again and fully clothed, swam back to the surface.

“It worked! I'm human again!” Lisa said triumphantly then swam to the edge and got out. Marge hugged Lisa as she was ringing out her soaking wet dress.

“Oh my special little girl. What happened to the crown?” Marge asked.

“Well, I guess it's at the bottom of the spring, and it can stay there for all I care.” Lisa replied.

“Now let's go home before your father gets back and I have to explain all this to him.” Marge said then they all headed back home.

The end.