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Rated: 13+ · Assignment · Fantasy · #1937361
Writing class assignment related to a commander's decision to retire.
A recent writing class gave me some ideas about a possible fantasy novel.  I envision the protagonist to be a highly respected commanding officer of an elite fighting force.  Essentially a fantasy version of special forces.  The main character, Commander Hadrian Livingstone, would start the story off with feelings of age and declining abilities, culminating with a decision to retire, but prior to being able to enjoy this retirement, events spin out of control and things will quickly turn into a hopefully entertaining story.  Our class assignment was for us to write related ideas into a narrative, action, and dialog heavy sections.  This is not a short story as much as writing exercises. 

1. Narrative

The endless campaigns in defense of the king and realm weighed heavily on Hadrian’s soul.  Constant physical training and exercise enabled him to be strong and agile.  His tanned body carried more scars these days, and his hair was experiencing a slow progression of grey around his temples.  While the wounds on his body mostly healed, the emotional strain of a military life was quite heavy.

Hadrian carried his tall frame with pride and dignity as would all good commanders.  Many of the men under his command would argue that he was still the best, and rumor had it that he was indestructible on the field of battle, but Hadrian knew deep inside that he was not keeping up.  He knew his skills were on the decline and feared it was only a matter of time before he made errors that would cost him in battle.  Or worse yet, cause his men to suffer as a result of his indecision or lack of ability and lose confidence in him.

After twenty years in the military, he had a good career and his record was flawless.  His sense of duty to his men and to the king was his highest priority.  He did not engage in the royal court politics and made a few enemies along the way, but the commitment to the king and queen fueled his desire to be the best.  He was of the rare breed, the ones who came in as lowly trainees, and worked their way up to highly respect commanding officers.  With a growing unease with his military life and standing, Hadrian decided to consult with his mentor and longtime friend Charles on his future.

Charles was once Hadrian’s commanding officer, but over time viewed Hadrian as an adopted son and took him under his wing and heir replacement in the ranks.  Hadrian would often ask his opinion on a multitude of topics ranging from family decisions, training regiments, and now possibly retirement.  Not many things unsettled Hadrian in life and battle, but the prospect of leaving behind the structure and discipline of the military for a life in retirement caused him to be nervous and perhaps a little afraid.

2. Action

“I think he is dead Commander,” said Captain Stevens.  Hadrian observed the practice dummy that lay scattered around the practice area.  Bits and pieces of the wool fabric were intertwined with the debris of straw in the practice pit.  The final kick to the straw head put an end to its misery.  Most straw scattered.  Hadrian wiped the sweat from his face and began to get his breathing under control.

“Another barbarian put into the ground,” proclaimed Hadrian to the circle of soldiers smiling and emphatically nodding their heads.  He tossed the training sword over to one of the soldiers to continue.  Training sessions such as these kept his fighting skills well honed, but also allowed him to release tension and frustration. 

“The propaganda you heard about the barbarians is garbage.  The manure from my horse is more valuable.  If you underestimate them, hopefully your death will be quick and painless,” said Hadrian to the young officers and exited through the gate.  Hadrian rarely trained soldiers these days.  His duties as commander required him to attend strategy meetings, complete mountains of paperwork, or worse, attend formal balls and galas at the royal palace.  Hadrian relished the hands-on training sessions with the men under his command, and took advantage to join in at every opportunity. 

He walked back into his office and quietly closed the door.  The winter was half over and he needed to get his mind right before the spring thaw.  The barbarians would continue to pressure the border and he needed to be ready, but working with his new second in command Nicholas was trying his patience.  He knew the reckless nature of Nicholas would lead to unnecessary casualties.  The realization that he could do nothing about it caused the pain in his head to grow.  Hadrian rubbed his temples to ease the throbbing in his head.  Leaning back in his chair, he knew he had to make a decision but was not sure what to do.

He decided he needed to speak with his old friend and mentor.

3. Dialog

“Hadrian my boy, come on in!” greeted Charles as he opened the door.  Hadrian always wondered if Charles would change his opening line when he opened the door to greet Hadrian, but after all these years, it was the same never lost its sense of comfort.
“Charles, my old friend.  It’s good to see you again,” said Hadrian as the men embraced.

“I heard you came back the other day and was hoping you would swing by.  I’ve been saving up some of the good stuff,” said Charles.  Hadrian stood in front of the crackling fire, rubbing his hands together.  Charles came back with a pint of ale for each of them and both settled down near the fire, staring into the flickering glow.

“How’s the new second-in-command guy coming along?” asked Charles wiping his lips from the frothy ale on his mug.  “Wasn’t his name Nicholas or ‘Jackass’ or something like that?”  Each of the men laughed and drank some more ale.

“That pretty much sums it up.  He has deep connections with the prince and his cronies, and yes, he is a jackass.  You can’t tell him anything because apparently he’s omnipotent, or so he thinks.”

“Well, obviously you won’t be able to transfer him out.  What will you do?” asked Charles.

“I’m not sure yet.  I don’t think I have the energy or desire to deal with it right now.  Forget about that jackass.  Actually, I came over to ask your opinion on an important family matter.”  Hadrian paused to take a long draught of ale.  “Charles, I’m thinking of retirement, but the thought of leaving the military life scares the hell out of me.” 

“Hadrian, before you make plans, you need to answer one question for me,” said Charles.  “Will Angela be able to put up with you on a daily basis?”
 
Hadrian feigned a scowl, but could not hold it as a large smile erupted from his face.  “To retirement!” said Charles as he offered his mug for a toast.  “To our wives, may they be able to tolerate us!” added Hadrian as their mugs clunked together.
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