Gone

I looked in the mirror and groaned. The yellow polyester graduation gown was horrid. But it was still my graduation, so my hands smoothed the nonexistent wrinkles once more. I was nervous, like anyone would be. I was graduating for one, and for another I was going to leave town for good after the ceremony. I was more afraid about number two, though. If He caught me before I got away then He might just kill me.

I thought I loved Him, I was sure I did. We were going to get married and have a happily ever after. He treated me like a princess, and He was by all means a prince; money, handsome, kind. Everything I could possibly want from this small town life. But He changed a week after I moved in with Him. Alcohol and drugs changed Him, and he became very violent. And at my graduation, I had more than just me to think about. My hand stopped over my stomach.

“EEEEVE!” Jonie, my best friend, stretched my name out into a high pitched squeal. She appeared at my elbow, so short that her brown head didn’t come to my shoulder.

“What’s up?”

“What’s up? Graduation! Look, I’ve been practicing throwing my hat,” Jonie said, taking her hat off her head and tossing it up in a high arc that brought it almost to ceiling level. “Beat Michael’s record.”

“Cool,” I said indifferently. The rest of my town had worries much more simple than skipping town. Problems so very less trivial than protecting an unborn child.

“What’s up with you? Where’s the graduation vibe?” Jonie grabbed my elbow and pulled me around to face the long hallway the graduating class was gathering in. “Doesn’t it warm your heart to look here and know you never have to step foot in this god awful hall ever again?”

“Yeah. Steamy hot,” I answered, rolling my eyes. Jonie was serious, though.

“Really, Eve. We ain’t never coming back here. We’re off to college and stuff. What if we never see each other again?” Jonie was definitely being drama queen, and normally I would laugh my head off. But I knew that if I left town tonight and did a good job of staying off His radar, I’d never see my friend again.

“It don’t matter,” I said in a small voice. “We’re going to different colleges, no helping that.”

“I know, but I’ll miss you. We’re off to a new chapter in our lives and all,” Jonie said, still in that serious tone.

“Wonder they didn’t make you valedictorian,” I muttered. She laughed and dragged me into line as the music started. It was blur, sitting down, watching them get their diplomas, getting my own, throwing my hat up, ending up back in the hall. I found myself in the middle of a yellow mass of bodies, not able to remember much of the graduation. I remembered Him, though. Hooting and cheering with my dad as I got my diploma.

“Hey, pumpkin,” my dad said, appearing right in front of me. He was behind him. “Did you hear Taylor?”

“Who didn’t hear him?” I countered, hugging my dad. He came over and kissed me. I fought the urge to recoil and then he pulled away, smiling.

“Hey, baby. I gotta go make a run real quick for, uh, work. Be back soon, I promise.”

“Sure, thanks for coming,” I nodded. He disappeared and I had fifty relatives to deal with. Hugs and kisses and ‘congratulations’ and ’thank you’s. It took forever, and then I had to do the same thing with every single student, even those I’d never seen before. Tears, mostly from Jacky and Jonie, and high fives and ‘way to go’s from Ben and Michael. Finally, we all filed out of the school.

We were supposed to go on a bus to spend the weekend at some hot springs resort, but I planned to slip away to Vegas before the bus brought us back. I got outside and there were police cars in the parking lot and ambulances speeding down the street.

“What’s happening?”

“Oh my god, what happened?”

“What the hell?”

“Someone died!”

“No, car crash!”

“Yeah, someone died in a car crash!”

“Hold it! Tell us what’s happening, officer?”

“There was a car crash on Main Street. The man is dead, we’ve identified him as Taylor Moore,” Officer Clayton said. The world fell apart, the ground disappeared from under me. Dead. Taylor’s dead, I thought. I shouldn’t be reacting this way to someone who had endangered my life many times, not just my life either. But I couldn’t help it. And I realized why.

I thought I loved Him. I didn’t realize, not till He was gone. I didn’t think I loved Him, I did love Him. Despite everything, I was stupid enough to love Him. And he was gone.