Who I Was

-Who I Was-
by
Keaton Foster



I am not
Who I was
I have become
Someone else
A different being
Of scope and detail
A monstrous man
Increasingly devoid
Of any real chance
I know that I will die
I am sure that I
Will kill myself
If not so instantly
Then quite certainly
Over a stretch of time
My feverous mind
A prison so inclined
To punish me
For what
I have not a clue
Nor any real truth
All that I know
Sadly is a lie
A game of games
Being played
Unwillingly I must say
I have never stood
Any significant chance
And when it seemed
As if I did
Such optimism was crushed
Ripped from my being
And replaced
With this sea of negativity
In which I have since
Been slowly drowning
Treading water all while
Sinking just a bit more
Down into the depths
Forever will I go
Who I was
I will never be
I am not that person
I am someone else
Something definable
To everyone else but me
They point and scream
As I turn and flee
But before I leave
I spill these words
Lessening some of the load
That is weighing me down
I use these crafted messages
Of abundant absurdity
Praying that they understand
I hope that in time
Such an identifiable tragedy
Will leave then saying
To this man’s madness
I am in some way relating
Only then will they understand
Only then, if ever
Will I be allowed to be
Who I was
And not
Who it is
I’ve become…


Who I Was
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2013