Finally Found

“What do you miss about her the most...Your mother?”

“Her voice...” I whispered, “Her voice telling me that she loved me.”



It’s been years and years, but I still remember the fight like it happened yesterday.

I remember hearing them yelling and screaming, all the way from my room.

I’d crept downstairs, and to the guest room, where they were fighting.

I didn’t walk in, but simply stood trembling at the doorway, wishing that I could do something.





He looked at me with a certain kind of understanding...And smiled, but his eyes were sad. I gazed into them,melting in the blue lake of his eyes, sensing his understanding and pain he felt for me...He sighed, like he didn't know what to say...like he didn't know how to comfort me.





“She’s just a child! You can’t do that to her! Not under my roof!” My mother screamed.

The scream was so raw and ferocious that it made my heart stop beating for a few seconds.

It made all of the blood in my body freeze.

I didn’t even know that my mother, the kindest and most honest person I knew could make such a sound.

They were always so loving and caring towards each other...Why did it suddenly change? And so quickly...I did nothing to stop it.





"You miss her, don't you?" He whispered. His arm circled around my shoulders, his fingers gentley caressing my back...

I closed my eyes and embraced the comfort.

"More than I can say," Tears caught in my throat, making it difficult to speak, difficult to breathe, "I just want her back...She is all I wish for, my mom."





They were scaring me,both of them...Even if they were silent, the air was poisoned with their murderous glares.





He let me rest my head on his shoulder.

"I know,Skye,I know what it feels like...But you must understand that the thing you want most is always the thing that you can never have," He looked at me, reaching out to rub the circles under my eyes, "It's tough, but ain't it the truth."





"A child? Who do you think you are kidding,Eva? She's THRIEEN, and she's my  child as well as yours. Don't forget that you are standing under MY roof and you are spending MY money, so we do things MY way," His voice was soft but that only made it seem more dangerous.

'Please, make them stop,' I prayed, 'Don't let anything happen to them.' 

God ignored my prayer.

"You have a problem with that? Then fine! Leave this house and you can take your daughter with you!"  He spat, glaring at her with overwhelming hatred...I was stunned...My mom was even more stunned, and dad? He looked shocked...But did he say he was joking? No he did not. I felt a blow in my gut, and I knew that mom was feeling a thousand times worse. This was wrong, this was so, so wrong.





"The truth isn't fair," I sniffed, blinking away a sudden rush of tears, "It's easy for you to say, your mom isn't-" I fell silent when I saw the expression on  his face-Agony and unexplainable pain.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I was being so stupid, Oh Anthony, I'm so-"



"I thought you knew."



"I did...I mean I do, I didn't know what I was saying, I'm so sorry."





"Right..." Mom whispered, she spoke again, in a stronger, braver tone..."Right. You know what? I will leave. I will take Skye with me and I don't want to see your stupid face, IN MY LIFE." She didn't even try to lower her voice-She sounded so sure, so sure of her self. She stood a little taller, challenging dad with her eyes.

I watched his expression...But saw nothing.



"You don't mean that." He snarled...His expression was nothing but a mask of anger...But hidden deep beneath the mask, was fear. I felt sick. It was wrong, it was wrong to leave him like that. We were supposed to be one small happy family, but it didn't feel like it anymore.





"Skye. You aren't the only orphan here. Some people have been through more..." He closed his eyes, swallowing the tears he tried to hide.

I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't know how. Instead, I said the worst thing I could say.

"Any news from her yet?" I whispered...I reached out for his hand, he took it without opening his eyes.





"Try and stop me." Mom growled, her eyes flashing dangerously.           



Dad had the strangest look on his face. It was violent...It was murderous...And it wasn't an expression that anybody would...Oh mom. Mom, no...no...NO.

Before I could yell at her to run for it, he had her pinned against the wall, making  crying out in pain. My legs felt weak...And the world kept spinning and spinning and spinning...I didn't do anything to stop it.





"Her body, we found it..." Sobs caught in his throat as he tried to control his voice, "We buried it yesterday, it was..."

I felt horrible, and covered my mouth, spluttering..."Oh god, I'm so sorry, You don't know how sorry I am, I'm so stupid, I'm such an useless friend."

"Skye, It's alright...You're not a horrible friend...You just...It's alright."



I squeezed his hands lightly, "But I'm still sorry...Tell me how to make it better..."



"Skye. She's resting in peace. It's okay."

But I knew that it wasn't.





Mom saw me hypervenliating by the door and screamed, "SKYE! Run!"    I felt light headed when dad clenched his fists and punched her in the stomach. NO, no, not my mother, not her, you can't hurt my mother...But did I do anything? No I did not. I stood there watching them, tears flowing, I couldn''t breathe, I couldn't move...I felt helpless, so helpless.  THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! DO SOMETHING!  But I didn't...



"RUN!" She screamed again when she saw that I didn't move. She was fighting, fighting so hard against the urge to faint...



"MOM!" I screamed back.







The minutes ticked by, we just sat there, breathing heavily, not saying anything.

Anthony finally broke the silence, "You should head home, it's getting late." He smiled, but it didn't touch his eyes.



I opened my mouth to protest, but no sound came out.



"Go on."



I didn't move, just stared at him uncertainly.



"Your aunt will be worrying."



I got up wearily, my eyes never leaving his, and slowly headed to the door...Anthony's voice stopped me, "Skye, we-uh...."

I turned around, "Yes?"





But I couldn''t do anything. Instead, I ran, like a coward...Crying while I ran,hearing her cries of pain and agony...Whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," all the way until my voice was no longer audible. I could never forgive myself for running away, I could never forgive myself for leaving her behind...



I could never forgive myself for existing in her life.



I could just drown in my tears.





He swallowed, "We saw, your-We saw it too..."



I stared at him blankly, "What do you mean?" I demaded. But I knew what he meant. I secretly knew.



"We saw her body too, your mom's...They were together..."



My mom.













There wasn’t much left of her body...just flesh and bones...oozing with blood and something unknown.



Her pride had shattered along with her life, forever gone.

But her body wasn’t twisted in an awkward angle. It lay smoothly, almost as if she had simply curled up to take a nap.It looked peaceful, it looked natural.



A little distance away was her head, barely recognizable-twisted and broken into the most impossible shape...But the mouth was unmistakable,



open in a silent plea...And the optimistic eyes only seemed to scream one thing...Something that would haunt me forever and forever.









HELP ME









Skye didn’t cry, she didn’t scream, she didn’t show any grief, instead, she softly hummed the tune of the lullaby...

The one that her mother used to sing to her when she was still a little girl.

Tired and wary

wondering ‘round...

Cold and dark,

Never found

Unknown place

Unknown world...

No one sees you

In a world so cold.

Never seen

Never found

Falling, falling, falling down

But rest in peace...

Close your eyes,

You’re alright...

Finally found.