Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother

Honor thy Father and thy Mother by David Prisco

We are all taught to love and respect our parents as we grow up. One of the 10 commandments is, “Honor thy father and thy mother.” But what if you have parents who have mistreated you and betrayed you over the years? Do you still have to respect them? On the 13th of this month my entire social security check was confiscated by Child Support Services and I’m really hurting for cash until my pension check comes in the mail. So, I sent an email to my oldest sister and asked if she could send me 20$. My mother sends a reply and tells me to stop asking my sister for money, and tells me that my sister is under enough stress and to stop asking her for money. She told me to go to the local church or homeless shelter and ask for food. I know for a fact that my mother was the one who used to converse with my ex-wife and coax her to divorce me. My wife used to complain to my mother that I spent a lot of time in bed, and I was depressed all the time. My wife used to cry on the phone to my mother that I was upstairs in my den getting drunk and high. My mother used to reply as follows – “Ann, I went through all of that with David’s father. I know what you’re going through because I’ve lived through it before. David is just going to drag you down with him. My advice to you Ann is leaving him. Divorce him because this is how your life is going to be from now on. It’s not healthy for you and its not healthy for the kids, so do yourself a favor and divorce him.”

Now, you’re probably wondering how I know this, and the reason I know it is because it all came out while I was going through my divorce. So, how can you love a Mother who tells your own wife to leave you? How do you love a mother who wants to take away your sister who is currently the only member of your family who still cares for you?

My parents divorced when I was 14. When my mother served divorced paper’s to my father I guess he didn’t read the part where it says that when your wife divorces you that doesn’t include your kids because that was the last I saw of my dad. The last time I saw my father was at my brother’s funeral about 15 years ago.

It’s hard to honor your father and mother when you feel that they’ve done nothing but betray you and mistreat you over the years. I am grateful to my mother for going back to school and getting and education, and supporting me. But outside of putting a roof over my head my mother has never been a major influence on my life, and neither has my father. My father abandoned me when I was 14 and in a way so did my mother. When my mother got a job as a secretary at Brooklyn Technical College in the physics department she met a physics teacher, and guess what? She fell in love with him, and left my father to marry him. While my mother and the love of her live were pursuing their courtship my mother was never home. Her lover got an apartment in Woodhaven, Queens where we lived and she literally moved in with him. Leaving me all alone at the age of 15, but I didn’t mind it though because I literally had my own apartment at that age. I would cut out from Franklin K. Lane High School and invite all my friends over and have wild parties. I would invite my girlfriends over and have sex all day long. Luckily, I had a part time job at a catering hall so I had extra money to buy food because though my mother paid the rent and the utilities I had to buy food for myself. I can remember one rare occasion when my mother came home one night. The Landlords who lived downstairs were waiting for her as she walked through the front door and literally attacked her. They yelled and screamed at her shouting – “What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren’t you home taking care of your children? Your son is having wild parties in my house and we won’t stand for it! Either you stay home and take care of your kids, or you have to find a new place to live!” The landlords berated my mother and I was at the top of the stairs as I watched my mother get backed into a corner and berated by the Landlords. So, she stayed home for about a week but after a week she left me again to go live with her new lover. I didn’t mind and I was glad to have my apartment back to be free and do what I want.

My mother was with her lover 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He later became my step-father and he turned out to be a bigger loser than my father. When he died 2 years ago from Alzheimer Disease he didn’t leave my mother anything; he didn’t even have a life insurance policy. The only person in my family I talk to is my older sister, and she has been a great comfort to me. When I cry to her over the phone she assures me that everything is going to be all right. She takes the time to listen to my tears and hear me cry. Sometimes you need a person like that in your life. But one thing I know it isn’t my mother or my father.

By the way – here is the emails that were exchanged by me and my mother. For your information, Sarah, is my niece who is the offspring of my older brother Danny who died 15 years ago from Crohn’s disease that my mother is now raising. Donna is my older sister.


david please stop, donna cannot handle this emotionally. go to a church or a homeless shelter and ask for a sandwhich and coffee, anything - its done all the time, i am sick and under a doctors care so is donna and problems with sarah we have enough stress. your mother
On Mon, Feb 25, 2013 at 6:50 AM, David Prisco wrote:
Donna, I haven't eaten in 4 days and I'm weak with hunger. Ask mom if she could wire me 20$ so I can go to the store and buy some food. I don't think I can last until Thursday when I get my pension check. I will send mom 30$ when I get paid on Thursday. Please ask mom to help me. I feel dizzy and all I have is bottled water to drink. I don't even have enough to buy a loaf of bread. Email me back ASAP. - David