{bitem:1919693}

Why does life throw us perfect people that are unattainable? They stroll in casually, garnering all of our attention and stopping our world momentarily upon first glance. We reach out our hands to grasp them but our fingers end up closing around nothing as they move away. We can only stand in dismay when they stand at a distance; always in our sights but never within our reach.

I first saw him on stage. His silhouette was enough to redirect my gaze. He was tall; barely fitting through some of the set’s doorframes, with a lean build that still contained hidden muscles under his golden skin. His hair was dark, long, with out of control curls that still showed his well-defined face yet fell across his forehead. He had a striking smile that was shown rarely, but when he did the light would grab his startling white teeth. However, his looks weren’t what was only attractive about him. He gathered attention despite him not demanding it. His sweet, serene voice turned my head even as he spoke, but it was a whole other matter when he sung. He made me fall in love with the music as he enunciated every syllable, giving it new meaning just with his glorious voice. Some actors simply become the character, but he was the character yet utterly embodying himself at once. Standing among other actors he stood out. And I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

But it wasn’t just his stage presence that grabbed me from the start. It was the person he was off the stage. I’d heard that not many people openly spoke to him. I’d heard his first kiss was onstage during our production, and that the girl had immediately told him that it meant nothing to her. But I noticed him and longed to talk to him although I never mustered the courage. I just observed in fascination. He’d advert his gaze when you’d look at him, in shyness and modesty. He’d answer when spoken too, making innocent jokes with his words, actions, and expressions when there were silences to fill. Otherwise he mainly kept to himself. He’d put in his earphones and drown out the world like I had done so many times before. He’d pace listening to his alternative style of music, in anxiety and anticipation before a show. He’d take critiques from the director easily, but few adjustments were needed for his mainly self guided performance. He loved filming and dreamed of being a director; even directing his own short films that take on meaning and quality well beyond a junior in high school’s years.

People said he was different. They said he was weird. And maybe he was those things, but saying that alone was an understatement. One thing that all of those rumors missed was how special he was. How he would stand up on that stage and do all of the seemingly insignificant things that made his character believable and entertaining. How he would sing with a quiet passion that could only be heard if you really listened. How his ego somehow remained a normal size even though he was beyond talented. How he did what he loved no matter what they said.

Maybe I did fall in love with the idea of him. Many people do. They fall in love with the semblance of someone, and then once they can finally call the real thing their own they realize it’s not what they expected. But I have a feeling I would have fallen in love with the real thing too, if only I had a chance. But life didn’t give me that one chance. Now I can only hope he achieves his dreams so finally people will finally take him for what he really is; a truly extraordinary person with talents and characteristics that are like nothing I’ve seen before. The surging depression I felt when I realized I would never get the opportunity to speak with him felt unbearable at the time. But now, with the time I’ve needed, I’ve come to realize that he’s too perfect to be true. I could arduously try to barge my way into his life but his orbit will always just be an inch too far. His individual bright light will always stand alone, because although I may love the idea of him I could never be sure. He’s simply just unattainable.